YAGT: What is the deal with the friend zone ?

[polm]

I hear a lot of guys talking about avoiding the dreaded 'friend zone' . I too have found myself locked in a mysterious 'zone' with a girl I may be attracted to, whos only interest seemed to be as my friend.

But I have also witnessed many relationships build from friendship, and not just casual friendship. I have seen best friends of 5 years all of a sudden decide they are in love and get married.

So what is the deal with the 'friend zone' ?

Can anyone please supply a defninitve explanation ?

 

[Rainsford]

Gaaah! /me runs and jumps off cliff

Ok, sorry, knee jerk reaction. As to your question, there is no friend zone, or any other kind of zone for that matter. People sometimes don't want to go from friendship to relationship because they are afraid it will ruin the friendship and they will end up with nothing at all. Personally I think people who say they are stuck in the friend zone are just using it as an excuse to not take a chance. I'll admit I've used that line in the past, but now I've come to realize that unless at some point your are in the "friend zone" with a girl, you cannot have a good, healthy relationship. She should be your best friend as well as your girlfriend.

I love threads about the friend zone where some guy will inevitably say, "Oh man, you're screwed, you're in the friend zone now." With all due respect to these guys, they are idiots. Relationships do not usually start off with hot sweaty sex, they start with getting to know the other person. And if in that time you don't become friends with them, I don't think you're relationship will last very long.

 

[brunswickite]

Originally posted by: Rainsford
Gaaah! /me runs and jumps off cliff


I love threads about the friend zone where some guy will inevitably say, "Oh man, you're screwed, you're in the friend zone now." With all due respect to these guys, they are idiots. Relationships do not usually start off with hot sweaty sex, they start with getting to know the other person. And if in that time you don't become friends with them, I don't think you're relationship will last very long.

very well said

 

[oblizue]

She doesn't want to have sex with you, simple as that.

 

[guapo337]

Originally posted by: Rainsford
Gaaah! /me runs and jumps off cliff

Ok, sorry, knee jerk reaction. As to your question, there is no friend zone, or any other kind of zone for that matter. People sometimes don't want to go from friendship to relationship because they are afraid it will ruin the friendship and they will end up with nothing at all. Personally I think people who say they are stuck in the friend zone are just using it as an excuse to not take a chance. I'll admit I've used that line in the past, but now I've come to realize that unless at some point your are in the "friend zone" with a girl, you cannot have a good, healthy relationship. She should be your best friend as well as your girlfriend.

I love threads about the friend zone where some guy will inevitably say, "Oh man, you're screwed, you're in the friend zone now." With all due respect to these guys, they are idiots. Relationships do not usually start off with hot sweaty sex, they start with getting to know the other person. And if in that time you don't become friends with them, I don't think you're relationship will last very long.

speak for yourself.. pshh..

 

[yllus]

Originally posted by: Rainsford
I love threads about the friend zone where some guy will inevitably say, "Oh man, you're screwed, you're in the friend zone now." With all due respect to these guys, they are idiots. Relationships do not usually start off with hot sweaty sex, they start with getting to know the other person. And if in that time you don't become friends with them, I don't think you're relationship will last very long.

You read the words but don't know the meaning. The "friends zone" doesn't mean, "Oh no! We've become friends!" instead of instant lovers. It means you've become stuck in a zone where your female friend cannot summon up romantic feelings for you.

This phenomenon is usually permanent, and it only avoided by making a good first impression. Otherwise it is typically blundered into by the male not being ballsy enough to take a chance and ask the girl out - she eventually gets tired of waiting and stops thinking of you as a potential mate. The end.

 

[Viper GTS]

Originally posted by: Rainsford
Gaaah! /me runs and jumps off cliff

Ok, sorry, knee jerk reaction. As to your question, there is no friend zone, or any other kind of zone for that matter. People sometimes don't want to go from friendship to relationship because they are afraid it will ruin the friendship and they will end up with nothing at all. Personally I think people who say they are stuck in the friend zone are just using it as an excuse to not take a chance. I'll admit I've used that line in the past, but now I've come to realize that unless at some point your are in the "friend zone" with a girl, you cannot have a good, healthy relationship. She should be your best friend as well as your girlfriend.

I love threads about the friend zone where some guy will inevitably say, "Oh man, you're screwed, you're in the friend zone now." With all due respect to these guys, they are idiots. Relationships do not usually start off with hot sweaty sex, they start with getting to know the other person. And if in that time you don't become friends with them, I don't think you're relationship will last very long.

Wise man.



Viper GTS

 

[rudeguy]

Originally posted by: guapo337

Originally posted by: Rainsford
Gaaah! /me runs and jumps off cliff

Ok, sorry, knee jerk reaction. As to your question, there is no friend zone, or any other kind of zone for that matter. People sometimes don't want to go from friendship to relationship because they are afraid it will ruin the friendship and they will end up with nothing at all. Personally I think people who say they are stuck in the friend zone are just using it as an excuse to not take a chance. I'll admit I've used that line in the past, but now I've come to realize that unless at some point your are in the "friend zone" with a girl, you cannot have a good, healthy relationship. She should be your best friend as well as your girlfriend.

I love threads about the friend zone where some guy will inevitably say, "Oh man, you're screwed, you're in the friend zone now." With all due respect to these guys, they are idiots. Relationships do not usually start off with hot sweaty sex, they start with getting to know the other person. And if in that time you don't become friends with them, I don't think you're relationship will last very long.

speak for yourself.. pshh..

his usually start with him laying in wait outside her door for months on end





relationships that are based on sex dont last.
relationships that are based on friendships never die, even if the romance fizzles out, you still have a friend

 

Hey Polm! Long time no see! You finally let go of your phone sex partner? :Q Have you arrived at Israel already? LOL!

Back to your question: I have to agree with Rainsford. Friendship is really useful in a relationship. However, I have to say that it isn't exactly as Rainsford describes it. There's some truth to both sides, I think. It's still true that bad guys, who're perceived as interesting, spunky, etc. get girls with no problem. But those are usually intended to be short-term relationships. However, for some reason AT dorks keep thinking about that as the be all.

On the other hand, there's the type of relationship that Rainsford described. I do think that's healthy. And I do think that's the perfect scenario, and it's what I personally would like. However, I think that should still be distinguished from people who start out as friends, best friends, without interest and then later fall in love. I don't think that those of the latter type of relationships (i.e., friends from the start and without interest) last for very long, but the friendship almost always perseveres. (I hope I made sense. Forgive me if I didn't make sense there.)

 

Everyone knows a guy can't have a girl as a real friend!

 

[brunswickite]

Originally posted by: SammySon
Everyone knows a guy can't have a girl as a real friend!

that would explain why fat girls rarely have friends

 

[Soybomb]

relationships that are based on friendships never die, even if the romance fizzles out, you still have a friend

Thats a very idealistic view and I'm not sure that I've always found that to be true. Apparently sometimes no matter how good of terms you think you are with a person they don't want to have much to do with you anyway. It sucks.

Friend zone is just whining.

 

[rudeguy]

Originally posted by: Soybomb

relationships that are based on friendships never die, even if the romance fizzles out, you still have a friend

Thats a very idealistic view and I'm not sure that I've always found that to be true. Apparently sometimes no matter how good of terms you think you are with a person they don't want to have much to do with you anyway. It sucks.

Friend zone is just whining.

I don't consider it idealisitc. I was speaking from past experiences. I have had both kinds of relationships, and the ones that I started off being friends with the girl continue to this day. Some are platonic, some are more. The sexual ones are nothing more than booty calls now, which are OK, but that gets old.

 

"Everyone knows a guy can't have a girl as a real friend!"

I'm glad you're rolling your eyes. So I take that to be sarcasm.

My best friends have always been male. I really love them. And it is possible to be best friends with guys but still feel that guys generally suck at relationships. I love men as friends.

 

[brunswickite]

Originally posted by: luvly
"Everyone knows a guy can't have a girl as a real friend!"

I'm glad you're rolling your eyes. So I take that to be sarcasm.

My best friends have always been male. I really love them. And it is possible to be best friends with guys but still feel that guys generally suck at relationships. I love men as friends.

all your male friends want you, there all thinking they are in the "friend zone".

 

[ThaGrandCow]

Originally posted by: Rainsford
Gaaah! /me runs and jumps off cliff

Ok, sorry, knee jerk reaction. As to your question, there is no friend zone, or any other kind of zone for that matter. People sometimes don't want to go from friendship to relationship because they are afraid it will ruin the friendship and they will end up with nothing at all. Personally I think people who say they are stuck in the friend zone are just using it as an excuse to not take a chance. I'll admit I've used that line in the past, but now I've come to realize that unless at some point your are in the "friend zone" with a girl, you cannot have a good, healthy relationship. She should be your best friend as well as your girlfriend.

I love threads about the friend zone where some guy will inevitably say, "Oh man, you're screwed, you're in the friend zone now." With all due respect to these guys, they are idiots. Relationships do not usually start off with hot sweaty sex, they start with getting to know the other person. And if in that time you don't become friends with them, I don't think you're relationship will last very long.

/me is proving this post correct right now.
Friends with woman for years with no sex... currently she takes off her clothes and does the nasty with me

 

[brunswickite]

Originally posted by: ThaGrandCow

Originally posted by: Rainsford
Gaaah! /me runs and jumps off cliff

Ok, sorry, knee jerk reaction. As to your question, there is no friend zone, or any other kind of zone for that matter. People sometimes don't want to go from friendship to relationship because they are afraid it will ruin the friendship and they will end up with nothing at all. Personally I think people who say they are stuck in the friend zone are just using it as an excuse to not take a chance. I'll admit I've used that line in the past, but now I've come to realize that unless at some point your are in the "friend zone" with a girl, you cannot have a good, healthy relationship. She should be your best friend as well as your girlfriend.

I love threads about the friend zone where some guy will inevitably say, "Oh man, you're screwed, you're in the friend zone now." With all due respect to these guys, they are idiots. Relationships do not usually start off with hot sweaty sex, they start with getting to know the other person. And if in that time you don't become friends with them, I don't think you're relationship will last very long.

/me is proving this post correct right now.
Friends with woman for years with no sex... currently she takes off her clothes and does the nasty with me

yup same here

 

[jdogg]

there is so much MORE to the 'friends' zone .... for example, what age are you? ... the younger you are, the more potential that a "friend" could become something more (as it takes quite sometime before your avg girl becomes more sexually aggresive). If you REALLY want to know if a female "friend" likes you, examine how you treat her in comparision to your male friends and how she treats you in comparison to how your male friends treat you. Are the treatments basically equal? or does she end up getting treated "special", whilst her treatment of you leaves something to be desired. Would you accept the way she treats you from a guy you consider a friend? Consider it closely .. if you find that you seem to have an imbalanced "friendship" ... start treating her as nicely as you would one of your guy friends and see if she continues to want your "friendship"

 

[CraigRT]

friend zone = good
everyone has to be friends at first (unless you're a ghetto player) so it's just fine... i've been friends with all the girls i've dated, before we go out.

thats the way i work it...

 

[Nitemare]

Originally posted by: ThaGrandCow

Originally posted by: Rainsford
Gaaah! /me runs and jumps off cliff

Ok, sorry, knee jerk reaction. As to your question, there is no friend zone, or any other kind of zone for that matter. People sometimes don't want to go from friendship to relationship because they are afraid it will ruin the friendship and they will end up with nothing at all. Personally I think people who say they are stuck in the friend zone are just using it as an excuse to not take a chance. I'll admit I've used that line in the past, but now I've come to realize that unless at some point your are in the "friend zone" with a girl, you cannot have a good, healthy relationship. She should be your best friend as well as your girlfriend.

I love threads about the friend zone where some guy will inevitably say, "Oh man, you're screwed, you're in the friend zone now." With all due respect to these guys, they are idiots. Relationships do not usually start off with hot sweaty sex, they start with getting to know the other person. And if in that time you don't become friends with them, I don't think you're relationship will last very long.

/me is proving this post correct right now.
Friends with woman for years with no sex... currently she takes off her clothes and does the nasty with me

Now she is a friend with benefits :beer:

 

[Looney]

I love threads about the friend zone where some guy will inevitably say, "Oh man, you're screwed, you're in the friend zone now." With all due respect to these guys, they are idiots. Relationships do not usually start off with hot sweaty sex, they start with getting to know the other person. And if in that time you don't become friends with them, I don't think you're relationship will last very long.

I think you're misunderstanding what the 'friend zone' is. The friendzone is the zone where the woman (or guy) doesn't see you as anything more than a friend. What you're talking about is just regular befriending of somebody, but it's certainly not the same as the 'friend zone'.