YAGT: What am I doing wrong..

[SackOfAllTrades]

you look better than me if that's any consolation . but yeah, you need an attitude overhaul and get yourself out there. chicks should be fighting over you.

 

[Graphicd00d]

Here is my advice. Go on a date to have a good time and not to try and get a girlfriend. Be yourself. If you can't be yourself, is it even worth being with someone who doesn't accept you for who you are? Validate yourself instead of getting your value from someone else.

 

[GT1999]

I just realized, this job being computer related and with over 15 or so techs on campus, I'm sure some of them might read these boards, so I removed my photo because I'm paranoid like that.

On another note, I'm talking to the girl over AIM and I guess she's already graduated and won't even have the job in a couple months.

I've already done a lot of small talk gradually working up to stuff that I know most girls like to hear, but what do you guys recommend after hearing the above stuff about her, the job, and her being graduated? She's probably not going to be around after that, so I don't see the motivation. At any rate I mentioned that whenever there's a new ticket that comes through for her to let me know and we can go out and fix it together, so maybe..

 

[randomlinh]

just keep talkin to her, maybe she has a hot friend

motivation and self esteem are key. hrmm.. i should take my own advise.. ha

 

[GT1999]

I <3 you guys. Thanks for all the help.

 

WE LURVE YOU TOO! :lips:

 

[speg]

Originally posted by: Geekish Thoughts
I haven't had a girlfriend in what I say is 4 years but it's really been a lot longer than that, I won't say how long. I'm going to school at a state university, I live in the dorms but don't have a huge amount of friends. I have a few, plus my roomate I've known for so many years, but I don't exactly have a tree of friends. My roomate is about 300lbs I'd guess and he has a girlfriend. Everyone I know has a girlfriend or has had one in a very recent timeframe. My dad, who is 50, has had over 6 girlfriends in the timeframe I have had zero. It's extremely hard to just walk up to people in say the cafeteria when everyone always eats in groups -- the times that a girl is sitting by herself I either think there's no chance in hell, or she looks extremely busy doing something. I'm not anti-social, it's just that I lack friends here at college. I don't prefer to be by myself, but that seems where I usually am.

Anyway, I could rant on and on about crap, but in reality I see myself trying to get a gf, yet it seems almost every time something goes wrong. Today I went to training for my new job as a computer tech consultant and the manager is a girl, 22 like myself, and is very cute. I didn't even have to ASK her during her training me, she managed to throw that line in there about her boyfriend during something that was semi-relevant. This seems to happen way too much to me. I mean, this girl isn't hot. She isn't ugly. Sure she has a tad of acne but I mean it isn't very bad at all... very very mild. I'd say I had a very good chances -- she's extremely geekish. See my Anandtech handle. ;P Plus the bod was just perfect in my eyes, but I'm sure for those of you with high standards would say it wasn't. Perfect height. I was standing next to her while she was standing and just thinking to myself, my god.. why does she have a boyfriend...

Bleh. This can't last for long or not only my friends but my god damn family is going to think I'm gay or something.

I am lifting, doing cardio, and pushups/situps each night, and I'm gradually working into being a partial vegetarian. I know I don't look exactly great, but I don't consider myself to have high standards, either.

I hate life.

And then I die.

Me too man, me too....

Let's start a club! Oh and my advice is maybe join a club or something? I think I'm going to join the badminton club when they start up next week. Take the mind off school and have some fun.

 

[Richdog]

Originally posted by: Gobadgrs

Don't go looking for a GF or youll never find one.

If you only take one piece of advice into heart let it be that one, because it's the most important and most true thing you'll hear all month.:beer:

 

[kenshorin]

I got a tip for you. Flirt with this boss chick. And hell, flirt with any chick you meet. But DO NOT flirt with chicks with any intention of hooking up, single, taken or otherwise. This works on a few different levels -

1) No expectation... you won't get all stuttery and stammery, because, you aren't trying to hook up anyways. This goes along with the "don't go looking for a g/f" rule. They KNOW when you are trying too hard.
2) Experience... learn what to say to chicks by saying it to them. Practice makes perfect. Practice on the chicks you got no shot with anyways, who cares?
3) They'll think you are cute and sweet. Seriously. Chicks love being flirted with casually, ESPECIALLY if they have a bf because they don't get comments like that as frequently anymore. Word about you will spread fast. Maybe your boss will tell a similar friend of hers how cute you are... its all about networking.

Make flirting part of your "normal" interaction with girls. Not in a sicko way, but in a wink wink way... watch and see the girls melt. Its what all these "smooth" guys do, and its not hard, just need to grow some sack and do it.

At this point in life, you are lucky. You are in school and working with people who are all in your age range. A little older, it gets more difficult because everyone you work with is in their 40s while you are young (trust me I know all about that problem... :disgust: )

One more piece of advise - go to parties, whether your friends go or not. The problem right now is that you got to meet NEW people. So get out there and go to a party, by yourself if necessary! Tell people you were supposed to go with a friend and he was tired and didn't wanna but you were looking forward to it, or something. Whatever. Meet people man! But once again, don't go in desperately looking for a g/f NOW. They will KNOW. Expect to strike out a lot, but eventually you'll sink one.

 

[badmouse]

1. Find a group that is all girls (knitting club, or whatever). Ask formally if you could get some advice. Then, ask them this same question that you are asking here. Let them take you on as a project.
2. Do you have hobbies, interests, etc? Join a group.
3. Religion has its uses. If you're that way, go to church/group regularly, and ask the leader for advice.
4. Volunteer. You meet a lot of really nice people when you volunteer for homeless meals, toys for kids with cancer, whatever. It's also a good thing to do.
5. Take on a project that gets you out into the world. Like, go door to door asking everybody what their favorite pizza place is, and then go back door to door with the results. Ask every female you meet if she'd like to help you test the results of your poll - you can get almost anyone to go out with you for pizza.
6. Start a rumor that you are fantastically rich. When people ask, deny it, and then ask them out.
7. The old networking-six-degrees-of-separation ploy: ask everyone you know, you are related to, your profs, everyone on your floor, whatever, to introduce you to a girl, for the purposes of going out and having a nice time. You have a lot more relatives, profs, advisers, etc. than you realize.
8. Volunteer for the school paper. Write a weekly column about your lonely, single life, and the frustrating search for companionship. Ask for similar (female) people to contact you so you can interview them for your column.
9. Go to AA meetings and whatever the drug-recovery-group is called. You don't have to confess your alcoholism or anything. Just be friends with the lonely people you meet there.
10. Turn gay. All of a sudden females love you, or so I understand.