YAGT: the importance of faith

[n0cmonkey]

Originally posted by: bockchow

Originally posted by: n0cmonkey

Originally posted by: bockchow

Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Look at it as a chance to convert her, without being overly preachy or assholish.

if the OP even thinks for a second that there's a chance in hell of this happening he's delusional.
IT WILL NOT HAPPEN
so if thats your plan try again.

I've seen it happen plenty of times.

but it won't happen this time, at least thats the assumption you have to go with. assuming her eventual conversion is just asking for trouble.

Why would he assume that he will convert her? That's just a ridiculous statement. He shouldn't assume anything in regards to that, hence my use of the term "chance."

 

[LordMagnusKain]

I couldn't imagine being with someone that didn't enjoy a good debate/argument once in a while.

no, she?s knowledgeable and we have the same IQ, so we?re well matched for intellectual duals.

She?s also a geek, which is rare in my poor-Mexican part of the nation, and she?s funny, and we have similar goals and intentions in a relationship?

No, we?re highly compatible, I just know that it?s not good to start a relationship with someone you can?t marry, and I don?t think it?s right for me personally to try to live in marriage with someone that doesn?t share my faith. Nor right to presume any sort of conversion, just live my life as I can and have been? all my friends tell me, no, doint go for it? but I?m thinking that I?ll give it a shot because of what you?ve said? I?ll know soon enough into it if God is going to bless the relationship.

 

[Insane3D]

Originally posted by: LordMagnusKain

She's agnostic.. mostly against the way organized religion doesn?t leave you free to come to your own conclusions...
i think she'd be easily converted to Methodist, because they don?t' much disagree with her.

I understand. I just don't think it's wise for either of you to worry about "converting" the other.

 

[LordMagnusKain]

Originally posted by: Insane3D

Originally posted by: LordMagnusKain

Originally posted by: Insane3D

Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Look at it as a chance to convert her, without being overly preachy or assholish.

What if she looks at it the same way?

She's agnostic.. mostly against the way organized religion doesn?t leave you free to come to your own conclusions...
i think she'd be easily converted to Methodist, because they don?t' much disagree with her.

? I also know it?s a bad to try to change someone?

I understand. I just don't think it's wise for either of you to worry about "converting" the other.

i agree, i'll be less of an ars with her than i have been with you guys on this forum :Q

I?ll live my life in the Christian way that I have been and let her come to her own conclusions?

 

[n0cmonkey]

Originally posted by: LordMagnusKain

I couldn't imagine being with someone that didn't enjoy a good debate/argument once in a while.

no, she?s knowledgeable and we have the same IQ, so we?re well matched for intellectual duals.

She?s also a geek, which is rare in my poor-Mexican part of the nation, and she?s funny, and we have similar goals and intentions in a relationship?

No, we?re highly compatible, I just know that it?s not good to start a relationship with someone you can?t marry, and I don?t think it?s right for me personally to try to live in marriage with someone that doesn?t share my faith. Nor right to presume any sort of conversion, just live my life as I can and have been? all my friends tell me, no, doint go for it? but I?m thinking that I?ll give it a shot because of what you?ve said? I?ll know soon enough into it if God is going to bless the relationship.

Spend a lot more time as friends. Figure it out later. More time for meditation (which includes prayer 😉) can't hurt. 🙂

 

[Gurck]

Don't think it'll work. Sometimes this can work out, but you place too much importance on your religion for it to happen with someone who doesn't feel the same. Likewise I couldn't have a relationship with someone even mildly religious.

 

[Insane3D]

I understand where you are coming from, but it's hard for me to imagine your point of view being agnostic myself. However, I guess I don't understand why your differing viewpoints on religion would preclude you from living "happily ever after". If you both accept each other as you are, and have a loving, caring relationship, things have a way of working out. I think having such different viewpoints might actually be beneficial to you both. She will probably gain a better understanding of faith and how important it is to you, and you might gain insight into how agnostics feel.

 

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: n0cmonkey

Originally posted by: gopunk

Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Look at it as a chance to convert her, without being overly preachy or assholish.

that doesn't seem like a great way to start a relationship - hoping you'll change them - it implies a lack of respect for the other person and their beliefs.

I don't think it is much of a change for an agnostic. I also don't think it implies any lack of respect, if you go about it right. Interesting point though.

it's not how much of a change it is, or how you go about it that makes a difference. the fact is, he would be entering a relationship with an idea of what he wants, which she does not currently fit, and viewing the time spent with her as a chance to mold her into what he wants. that very thought implies a lack of acceptance for who the other person is, a lack of respect. at least that's how i see it... if he did respect her beliefs, he would accept their differences and choose to either continue a relationship with her or part ways - instead of trying to change them.

 

[bockchow]

well you came in here looking for someone to agree with you not for advice so i'm done with this conversation. just know that getting in a relationship is going to be a realy bad idea.
2 Corinthians 6:14

 

[0roo0roo]

almost no chance considering how hard core christian you seem to be based on your at posts

 

[n0cmonkey]

Originally posted by: gopunk

Originally posted by: n0cmonkey

Originally posted by: gopunk

Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Look at it as a chance to convert her, without being overly preachy or assholish.

that doesn't seem like a great way to start a relationship - hoping you'll change them - it implies a lack of respect for the other person and their beliefs.

I don't think it is much of a change for an agnostic. I also don't think it implies any lack of respect, if you go about it right. Interesting point though.

it's not how much of a change it is, or how you go about it that makes a difference. the fact is, he would be entering a relationship with an idea of what he wants, which she does not currently fit, and viewing the time spent with her as a chance to mold her into what he wants. that very thought implies a lack of acceptance for who the other person is, a lack of respect. at least that's how i see it... if he did respect her beliefs, he would accept their differences and choose to either continue a relationship with her or part ways - instead of trying to change them.

I don't see it as changing someone, or a lack of respect. I guess it would depend on how much she likes being agnostic.

 

[Insane3D]

Originally posted by: n0cmonkey


I don't see it as changing someone, or a lack of respect. I guess it would depend on how much she likes being agnostic.

You may not see it that way, but I get the impression you don't think being agnostic is the "right way" to live, while being religious is. How much she "likes" being agnostic? Maybe she should try to convert him...I guess it would depend on how much he "likes being christian" right?

 

[Manzelle]

If that democratic zealot who looks like a squirrel Carver and his wife can make it work...why can't these two?

 

[n0cmonkey]

Originally posted by: Insane3D

Originally posted by: n0cmonkey


I don't see it as changing someone, or a lack of respect. I guess it would depend on how much she likes being agnostic.

You may not see it that way, but I get the impression you don't think being agnostic is the "right way" to live, while being religious is. How much she "likes" being agnostic? Maybe she should try to convert him...I guess it would depend on how much he "likes being christian" right?

I actually hate religion. I don't see either as a "wrong way to live."

I spent a bit of time as an agnostic, and the search for the answer to whether there was a god or not seemed like a big deal to me. That's all I meant about whether she "likes being agnostic." Bad way to phrase it I guess. 🙂

I'm wierd though, I enjoy discussing religion.

 

[Insane3D]

Originally posted by: n0cmonkey

Originally posted by: Insane3D

Originally posted by: n0cmonkey


I don't see it as changing someone, or a lack of respect. I guess it would depend on how much she likes being agnostic.

You may not see it that way, but I get the impression you don't think being agnostic is the "right way" to live, while being religious is. How much she "likes" being agnostic? Maybe she should try to convert him...I guess it would depend on how much he "likes being christian" right?

I actually hate religion. I don't see either as a "wrong way to live."

I spent a bit of time as an agnostic, and the search for the answer to whether there was a god or not seemed like a big deal to me. That's all I meant about whether she "likes being agnostic." Bad way to phrase it I guess. 🙂

I'm wierd though, I enjoy discussing religion.

My apologies for misunderstanding your post. Sometimes discussions like this can be easily misinterpreted when we are trying to type what me mean to say.

Question for you. You say you hate religion, but you "spent some time as an agnostic". Do you mean to say you are now an atheist? It's personal question, so if you prefer not to, don't feel you need to answer it.

🙂

Speaking for myself, I don't have a problem with religion per se, I just have a problem with the evangelical types who try to force their views and morality on everyone else, regardless of if they are interested. It's nice up here in NH. It's a conservative state, with a lot of people being religous, but up here, religion is a personal thing. You don't get the "bible beaters" who try to force their ways upon everyone else.

🙂

 

[n0cmonkey]

Originally posted by: Insane3D

Originally posted by: n0cmonkey

Originally posted by: Insane3D

Originally posted by: n0cmonkey


I don't see it as changing someone, or a lack of respect. I guess it would depend on how much she likes being agnostic.

You may not see it that way, but I get the impression you don't think being agnostic is the "right way" to live, while being religious is. How much she "likes" being agnostic? Maybe she should try to convert him...I guess it would depend on how much he "likes being christian" right?

I actually hate religion. I don't see either as a "wrong way to live."

I spent a bit of time as an agnostic, and the search for the answer to whether there was a god or not seemed like a big deal to me. That's all I meant about whether she "likes being agnostic." Bad way to phrase it I guess. 🙂

I'm wierd though, I enjoy discussing religion.

My apologies for misunderstanding your post. Sometimes discussions like this can be easily misinterpreted when we are trying to type what me mean to say.

Exactly, no apologies needed. 🙂

Question for you. You say you hate religion, but you "spent some time as an agnostic". Do you mean to say you are now an atheist? It's personal question, so if you prefer not to, don't feel you need to answer it.

🙂

I'm a theist.

Speaking for myself, I don;t have a problem with religion per se, I just have a problem with the evangelical types who try to force their views and morality on everyone else, regardless of if they are interested. It's nice up here in NH. It's a conservative state, with a lot of people being religous, but up here, religion is a personal thing. You don't get the "bible beaters" who try to force their ways upon everyone else.

🙂

I have problems with some evangelical types. I've met some good ones, that have a sense of humor and can discuss it with a smile. I've also met some that have that "believe what I believe or STFU" attitude. The smiling ones are typically fun, because they enjoy it enough that they don't feel a need to force it on anyone. A lot of times they seem to "preach by example," which I see as an admirable thing in many cases.

7 years of Catholic school probably screwed me up. 😛

 

[Insane3D]

7 years of Catholic school probably screwed me up.

Oh, I hear ya. I was brought up catholic, but I have always been the type of person that questions everything. That trait doesn't seem to mesh well with being catholic apparently. I would often get thrown out of sunday school for "asking too many questions".

😀

 

[n0cmonkey]

Originally posted by: Insane3D

7 years of Catholic school probably screwed me up.

Oh, I hear ya. I was brought up catholic, but I have always been the type of person that questions everything. That trait doesn't seem to mesh well with being catholic apparently. I would often get thrown out of sunday school for "asking too many questions".

😀

The teachers for the Sunday school Confirmation class were convinced I was going to be a priest. 😛

I had a teacher in the catholic school tell me I was going to hell, and another try to fail me for something I wrote for class.

My mom (who teaches there, and does a hell of a lot of work for them) supported me reading what I wanted to read, watching what I wanted to watch, play what I wanted to play, etc. It all depends on the Catholic. 😉

 

[Kadarin]

You're a religious fanatic, and she's someone who prefers to think for herself. Oil and water...

 

[Geekbabe]

Why does it matter if she trots to a church on a weekly basis? Is she a good person, does she try to think and act towards others in a decent and humane way ? Does she have a good heart, that to me is all that matters.

 

[Insane3D]

Exactly. In my mind, the type of person she is, and how you two get along is what's important. You should just worry about your differences in beliefs when you "cross that bridge", so to speak.

Why not let things take their course, and see how it goes. I think as your relationship develops, you figure out if it's a problem, or something you two just have a difference of opinion on. I bet both of your views might change somewhat. IMO, it's much better to have someone with their own thoughts and beliefs who will disgree with you at times, than a "yes man " type that is a mirror image of you. That's just me though...

*shrug*

 

[db]

Most traditional "organized" religion is like any other beauocracy--big on rules and small on honest & meaningful relationship.
Whether or not she is in the picture, you owe it to yourself to find a totally kick-ass church that excites you and makes you passionate.

 

[Spamela]

IMHO, if you're compatible & you can avoid overtly nagging her about converting,
then you're probably in good shape.

there's always prayer & hope that she'll want, eventually, what you have.

of course, having children (or an existential crisis) come into play
for a lot of people.

 

[whattaguy]

Originally posted by: LordMagnusKain

I couldn't imagine being with someone that didn't enjoy a good debate/argument once in a while.

no, she?s knowledgeable and we have the same IQ, so we?re well matched for intellectual duals.

She?s also a geek, which is rare in my poor-Mexican part of the nation, and she?s funny, and we have similar goals and intentions in a relationship?

No, we?re highly compatible, I just know that it?s not good to start a relationship with someone you can?t marry, and I don?t think it?s right for me personally to try to live in marriage with someone that doesn?t share my faith. Nor right to presume any sort of conversion, just live my life as I can and have been? all my friends tell me, no, doint go for it? but I?m thinking that I?ll give it a shot because of what you?ve said? I?ll know soon enough into it if God is going to bless the relationship.

Aren't your goals godliness and holiness...to become more Christlike? YOur goals are already different there, bro. Pray ALOT. But, honestly, if beliefs don't change before marriage, I don't think beliefs will change after marriage either. But, who knows? Your calling in life might be her.

 

[LordMagnusKain]

We?ll be friends for a while, and see how things go? I?m hard-core into Christ, but I?m also a geek, I watch star-trek and star-wars, and play PC games and build computers for profit, and play table-top RPGs? I?ve invited her on of my gaming sessions and we?ll see how being friends works out.

I can?t marry an unbeliever because of the verses previously stated and there?s always a chance that I?ll become corrupted and I?m sure she?ll change my point of view on some things.

But over all I don?t unassociated myself with non-believers? that would be a horrible witness? but walking in the Lord?s path is the only way to live the most fruitful life so I?ll straiten things out if I start losing sight.

Aren't your goals godliness and holiness...to become more Christlike?

well, yes, at the most basic level that's what drives me, what i ask myself about when i'm unsure of a course of action.

YOur goals are already different there, bro. Pray ALOT. But, honestly, if beliefs don't change before marriage, I don't think beliefs will change after marriage either. But, who knows? Your calling in life might be her.

Your complex and thoughtful view lacks the certainty and sureness of response that I?d like?
but it makes the most sense, so I?ll live with it and see how it goes... as many have said?

but king David was corrupted, so I?ll have to be careful indeed.