This post is the end of the line of "YAGT"s for me for this particular girl. If you happen to give a damn here is a previous post: Previous YAGT
CUT AND DRY VERSION: Girlfriend decided that she didn't think that trying a long distance relationship (of 1.25 hours...) while I'm at college was a good idea. I really can't blame her I guess but I'm still bummed out anyway. She caught me completely off guard.
DETAILED VERSION - COMPLETE WITH REQUISITE SAD STORY AND SULKING
Anyway, I live an hour and a half away from her and I promised her I would be in town 3-4 times a week to see her and I've been doing that since I moved. I only missed time last week when I was on vacation and the week before that when family was in town - even then I managed to see her for a day and ditch my family. I've done a lot to make this work and I really wanted it to.
So I come to town to see her for three days - tuesday-friday morning - because she's going away next week then I would see her for 2 more days before going to college. Last night I get to her house after she had dinner with her dad and her mom runs to the door when she sees me and says hi and asks how my trip was - her mom loves me. Anyway, my now ex
() says she wants to show me the new furniture they got for the basement so we go downstairs.
I had gotten her a bangle (a bracelet type thing) while on vacation from a guy that made the necklace I wear all the time. A native american artist street vendor in Santa Fe, NM - cool stuff. So I give it to her and she said I didn't need to and I told her I wanted to. Then a minute later she says we need to talk about the college thing. She said she isn't going to be able to see me much - she's only had her license for 2 months and I'll be an hour and fifteen minutes away from her (which isn't much at all). So after a lot of silence and not knowing what to say because it caught me way off guard I told her that there is a bus that goes back and forth a few times a day so she could come see me. She seemed to be interested by that idea but the realized she didn't know how often she would be able to come see me since she'll have school and swim team. More silence for a long time. I even said, "I'm really not sure what to say...or do."
After awhile I was just like, "I guess I should leave." She had the TV on...I guess to fill that incredible awkward silence. She seemed hesitant and said something like, "Have a good year at Cornell..." (she didn't know what to say clearly) and then I got up. Then she asked me, "So...is that it?" I just said, "Apparently..." I mean, it wasn't my decision, I don't understand why the hell she asked me 'is that it.' Then she's like, "We'll still talk...like online" and I just gave her this look of despair that kinda said, "No, don't fool yourself." We went upstairs and I called into her living room "Good night" to her mom and sister and she walked me outside to her front patio and we said "Good bye" and I walked away.
What a sh!tty night.
Then I called a really good friend of mine and we hung out, went to the casino for a few hours. Then I hung out with some other friends and worked out this morning. I'm glad I have such good friends that are here for me.
Anyway, I'm kinda bumming. This really sucks. In a way it will be good - I'll get to mess around at college whatever, but in reality, I've never been that kind of guy, so we'll see. I just wish she would have been able to drive to see me so we could see each other once/twice a month and keep this going. I think she didn't even think 1/month was enough.
Sorry for the long post.
Oh yeah, and no, she didn't offer the bangle back - I think she kinda forgot about it - I would have told her to keep it anyway, what would I have done with it? Look at it and get upset? No thanks - it's something for her to remember me by I guess. It seems like I'll never talk to her again which is the worst part...I'd at least like to be friends with her at some level, she's a really good person and I can't blame her for not wanting to try the long distance thing. Gah.
CUT AND DRY VERSION: Girlfriend decided that she didn't think that trying a long distance relationship (of 1.25 hours...) while I'm at college was a good idea. I really can't blame her I guess but I'm still bummed out anyway. She caught me completely off guard.
DETAILED VERSION - COMPLETE WITH REQUISITE SAD STORY AND SULKING
Anyway, I live an hour and a half away from her and I promised her I would be in town 3-4 times a week to see her and I've been doing that since I moved. I only missed time last week when I was on vacation and the week before that when family was in town - even then I managed to see her for a day and ditch my family. I've done a lot to make this work and I really wanted it to.
So I come to town to see her for three days - tuesday-friday morning - because she's going away next week then I would see her for 2 more days before going to college. Last night I get to her house after she had dinner with her dad and her mom runs to the door when she sees me and says hi and asks how my trip was - her mom loves me. Anyway, my now ex
() says she wants to show me the new furniture they got for the basement so we go downstairs.I had gotten her a bangle (a bracelet type thing) while on vacation from a guy that made the necklace I wear all the time. A native american artist street vendor in Santa Fe, NM - cool stuff. So I give it to her and she said I didn't need to and I told her I wanted to. Then a minute later she says we need to talk about the college thing. She said she isn't going to be able to see me much - she's only had her license for 2 months and I'll be an hour and fifteen minutes away from her (which isn't much at all). So after a lot of silence and not knowing what to say because it caught me way off guard I told her that there is a bus that goes back and forth a few times a day so she could come see me. She seemed to be interested by that idea but the realized she didn't know how often she would be able to come see me since she'll have school and swim team. More silence for a long time. I even said, "I'm really not sure what to say...or do."
After awhile I was just like, "I guess I should leave." She had the TV on...I guess to fill that incredible awkward silence. She seemed hesitant and said something like, "Have a good year at Cornell..." (she didn't know what to say clearly) and then I got up. Then she asked me, "So...is that it?" I just said, "Apparently..." I mean, it wasn't my decision, I don't understand why the hell she asked me 'is that it.' Then she's like, "We'll still talk...like online" and I just gave her this look of despair that kinda said, "No, don't fool yourself." We went upstairs and I called into her living room "Good night" to her mom and sister and she walked me outside to her front patio and we said "Good bye" and I walked away.
What a sh!tty night.
Then I called a really good friend of mine and we hung out, went to the casino for a few hours. Then I hung out with some other friends and worked out this morning. I'm glad I have such good friends that are here for me.
Anyway, I'm kinda bumming. This really sucks. In a way it will be good - I'll get to mess around at college whatever, but in reality, I've never been that kind of guy, so we'll see. I just wish she would have been able to drive to see me so we could see each other once/twice a month and keep this going. I think she didn't even think 1/month was enough.
Sorry for the long post.
Oh yeah, and no, she didn't offer the bangle back - I think she kinda forgot about it - I would have told her to keep it anyway, what would I have done with it? Look at it and get upset? No thanks - it's something for her to remember me by I guess. It seems like I'll never talk to her again which is the worst part...I'd at least like to be friends with her at some level, she's a really good person and I can't blame her for not wanting to try the long distance thing. Gah.
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