YAGT sort of with Poll

[Skunkwourk]

So my friend just found out his girl has been cheating on him for the past 2 months. Hes pretty distraught. He feels its partially his fault because in the beginning he was dating her and someone else at the same time and wasn't sure which one to pick. A girlfriend of mine actually says its a grey area because they were only dating/seeing and there wasn't a long standing commitment. But his girlfriend found out about the other one and took it as cheating because he did tell her he wanted to be with her (which was a mistake since he wasn't sure).

Well apparently shes been cheating for 2 months (after 2? years together) and finally told him. I don't really know what to say to the guy, hes holed up in his room, hes finished his Masters degree but is falling behind on med school apps, and Im not really sure how to handle this situation. I guess Im also curious because I don't know how well things can go on after 2 people cheat. I've never cheated nor been cheated on. Please share your thoughts or expereinces, I wish I could offer something to say to him, but I just don't know if anything I say will help or make it worse.

EDIT: Added a simple poll

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Originally posted by: Eghck
So my friend just found out his girl has been cheating on him for the past 2 months. Hes pretty distraught. He feels its partially his fault because in the beginning he was dating her and someone else at the same time and wasn't sure which one to pick. A girlfriend of mine actually says its a grey area because they were only dating/seeing and there wasn't a long standing commitment. But his girlfriend found out about the other one and took it as cheating because he did tell her he wanted to be with her (which was a mistake since he wasn't sure).

Well apparently shes been cheating for 2 months (after 1.5? years together) and finally told him. I don't really know what to say to the guy, hes holed up in his room, hes finished his Masters degree but is falling behind on med school apps, and Im not really sure how to handle this situation. I guess Im also curious because I don't know how well things can go on after 2 people cheat. I've never cheated nor been cheated on. Please share your thoughts or expereinces, I wish I could offer something to say to him, but I just don't know if anything I say will help or make it worse.

Don't let him blow his schooling over her. Take him out and get him a revenge lay.

- M4H

 

[giantpinkbunnyhead]

As a guy who has been cheated on twice by two different g/f's, I can tell you that things are NEVER the same afterwards. Game over, man.

Sure, your buddy and his promiscuous g/f can try to patch thigns up but the trust issue will be everpresent; the g/f will sense it; full recovery will never happen.

 

[magomago]

whatever happens....push and get him to finish those med school apps. He needs to get that done with - let him cry, wail, and biatch about how everything is wrong in his life...but he needs those apps done. He may choose later not to go and that is fine and dandy....but he shouldn't get that door shut on him.

 

[IMaN00BieGF]

I'd say, he got a taste of his own medicine and he should just move on.

 

[Skunkwourk]

Originally posted by: IMaN00BieGF
I'd say, he got a taste of his own medicine and he should just move on.

so you say he cheated because he told her he wanted to be with her in the beginning?

EDIT: added simple poll

 

[doze]

ll your "friend" to dump her before it gets worse. If it was a drunken makeout session after a big night of drinking then might be ok, but 2 months of cheating is a no brainer.

 

[spidey07]

There is nothing you can say or do.

Take him out for some beers and hook him up with some strange. That's the best thing you can do for him.

 

[iamaelephant]

Maybe there would be hope if she had just slept with someone once or twice because she was lonely or whatever, but the fact that she has been screwing around for 2 months tells me something.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: iamaelephant
Maybe there would be hope if she had just slept with someone once or twice because she was lonely or whatever, but the fact that she has been screwing around for 2 months tells me something.

yeah, it says "I'm finished with my test drive, ready for the next model and am trying to force you to break up with me. that way I'm not a bad girl/person and its all BFs fault."

 

[DaiShan]

No hope after cheating. Any time I start a new relationship (more than casual dating) I let the girl know where I stand on certain issues, such as cheating. If she cheats it's over, and you've got to stay firm on this one.

A couple that I know (they aren't together any more) was in a pretty serious relationship (3 years) and they were definitely in love, but the girl seemed unwilling to control herself when she drank. They'd go out to a bar and she'd flirt with other guys, and on multiple occasions over the course of their relationship she made out with another guy. Every time the guy just let it go. I asked her once why she didn't exercise more self control and she said something along the lines of "it's not that I don't care about <insert guys name here> but it doesn't mean anything (when she kisses other guys) and he always takes me back" They finally broke up, but the guy was hurting for probably the past 9 months of their relationship, it's just not worth it.

 

[thehstrybean]

Hey, happened to me...drop her like a bad habit. Period.

 

[Skunkwourk]

who voted yes?

 

[dawnbug]

She sounds like a jerk. Even with what happened at the beginning of their relationship, this is completely unacceptable and I don't see any way that their relationship could recover.

 

[Muadib]

The trust issue has to be shot to hell. Tell your friend to move on.

 

[sixone]

She told him about it because she didn't care whether he got hurt or not. A bad sign, IMHO.

You can't stop him from ruining his career. You can offer to help him with his apps, but if he refuses, there's nothing else you can do.

 

[necine]

He didn't cheat, she did. You need to have a serious relationship about monogamy and explicitly refer to the other person as BF/GF before that can occur. Her actions are out of line. There's no hope. Get your friend out of his house and take him to have some fun. He's gonna be bummed for a while, but he shouldn't ruin his life over this tramp.

 

[Stumps]

I was cheated on back in early 2000, I was pretty upset for a while and wanted to kill my Ex....but I got over it and now things couldn't be better....see link in sig for my happiness.

 

[AccruedExpenditure]

Originally posted by: Stumps
I was cheated on back in early 2000, I was pretty upset for a while and wanted to kill my Ex....but I got over it and now things couldn't be better....see link in sig for my happiness.

Hmm, interesting.

 

[ColdFusion718]

There is always an upside to everything. He can either let this destroy him or he can use it to fuel his drive at a better life, new gf, etc.. He's going to be a doctor in a few years right? I know some guy friends who are doctors and they get laid all the time (btw, women love to play doctor/patient).

The way I see it, your friend could use this situation as a learning experience. As the saying goes, "What goes around, comes around." Time to take him out a lot and pick up other women then have angry/crazy sex with them. Women talk and cry to their friends to get over these things; we go out and fvck other women.

 

[Cruisin1]

Originally posted by: Stumps
I was cheated on back in early 2000, I was pretty upset for a while and wanted to kill my Ex....but I got over it and now things couldn't be better....see link in sig for my happiness.

I'd be wondering if that is yours j/k

 

[Stumps]

Originally posted by: Cruisin1

Originally posted by: Stumps
I was cheated on back in early 2000, I was pretty upset for a while and wanted to kill my Ex....but I got over it and now things couldn't be better....see link in sig for my happiness.

I'd be wondering if that is yours j/k

my fiancee has never given me a reason not to trust her, she usually insists that I tag along with her if she is going out with friends.

As she put's it " ATOT and CSS is not a real life...and working on your cars doesn't count either, if you don't come with me I'll drag you out by your feet"

my response is usually "yes dear"