YAGT - Rules for Dating Women

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: Black88GTA

9) Creates imaginary friends or relatives (and attends their mythical marriages and/or funerals!).

OK, I have to know...is there some sort of backstory here involving a card-carrying official nutjob, or did you date a 6 year old?

Yeah some of the rules seem strange to be on the list....like constantly bragging about kissing another chick but most of the rules seem ultra conservative.

if he follows all those rules he won't be dating a woman.

 

[SpanishFry]

Originally posted by: ultimatebob
Yeah, what's wrong with a lower back tattoo? Most guys I know consider it to be a target

he said dating, not plowing

I think my gf fails 4 of those, but they're relatively minor on the list. On the whole, I agree with your list. :thumbsup:

 

[Electric Amish]

3) Has a tattoo on her lower back.
8) Persistently has dreams that would make a John Waters movie seem like a Disney production.
13) Brags constantly about "that crazy time in college" when she kissed another girl.
19) Believes that having sex with numerous men is "female empowerment."
20) Lives under the ridiculous delusion that a healthy intimate relationship can survive infidelity.

Well, your loss, I guess.

15) Fails to appreciate the dramatic sophistication of "The Godfather" or the timeless humor of "The Simpsons"

Well, you won't be dating me then.

 

[JS80]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IgorFL
Based on personal experience, I created the following list. I'll be interested in hearing comments/suggestions/etc. (And yes, I realize that I'm effectively eliminating 99% of the female population with this list.)

Dating Rules

I will not date a girl if she:

1) Continuously bemoans her terrible relationship with her father.
2) Is unable to have a lasting friendship with a man.
3) Has a tattoo on her lower back.
4) Acts annoyed with sports and shuns athletic activity.
5) Cultivates no meaningful hobbies or interests.
6) Displays fits of jealousy to any of my female friends.
7) Mentions any phobia involving insects, numbers, or colors.
8) Persistently has dreams that would make a John Waters movie seem like a Disney production.
9) Creates imaginary friends or relatives (and attends their mythical marriages and/or funerals!).
10) Pretends that actual living friends or relatives have died.
11) Keeps a scrapbook of past relationships.
12) Becomes mute any time there is a crisis.
13) Brags constantly about "that crazy time in college" when she kissed another girl.
14) Considers "Love Story," "Love Actually" or "Pretty Woman" to be movies worthy of romantic emulation.
15) Fails to appreciate the dramatic sophistication of "The Godfather" or the timeless humor of "The Simpsons"
16) Habitually falls into relationships to avoid being single.
17) Needs to get drunk and/or high to feel comfortable with herself.
18) Reveals long-term plans to change me into her "ideal" man.
19) Believes that having sex with numerous men is "female empowerment."
20) Lives under the ridiculous delusion that a healthy intimate relationship can survive infidelity.

so you're telling us you're going gay or will never date a woman again?

he has yet to define "date"

 

[Soundmanred]

IgorFTL

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: IgorFL

7) Mentions any phobia involving insects, numbers, or colors.

Phobia of colors? Are you serious?

 

[MisterJackson]

Originally posted by: IgorFL
Based on personal experience, I created the following list. I'll be interested in hearing comments/suggestions/etc. (And yes, I realize that I'm effectively eliminating 99% of the female population with this list.)

Dating Rules

I will not date a girl if she:

1) Continuously bemoans her terrible relationship with her father.
2) Is unable to have a lasting friendship with a man.
3) Has a tattoo on her lower back.
4) Acts annoyed with sports and shuns athletic activity.
5) Cultivates no meaningful hobbies or interests.
6) Displays fits of jealousy to any of my female friends.
7) Mentions any phobia involving insects, numbers, or colors.
8) Persistently has dreams that would make a John Waters movie seem like a Disney production.
9) Creates imaginary friends or relatives (and attends their mythical marriages and/or funerals!).
10) Pretends that actual living friends or relatives have died.
11) Keeps a scrapbook of past relationships.
12) Becomes mute any time there is a crisis.
13) Brags constantly about "that crazy time in college" when she kissed another girl. (this one I don't mind normally, but she claimed she "used to be" lesbian. How the hell did you "used to be" lesbian?! Did she go to the same Taggert therapy????
14) Considers "Love Story," "Love Actually" or "Pretty Woman" to be movies worthy of romantic emulation.
15) Fails to appreciate the dramatic sophistication of "The Godfather" or the timeless humor of "The Simpsons"
16) Habitually falls into relationships to avoid being single.
17) Needs to get drunk and/or high to feel comfortable with herself.
18) Reveals long-term plans to change me into her "ideal" man.
19) Believes that having sex with numerous men is "female empowerment."
20) Lives under the ridiculous delusion that a healthy intimate relationship can survive infidelity.

The last girl I dated had these going on. The first night we hung out I ended up crashing at her place. I made my moves, but she wouldn't give me any play that night. She claimed it was "too soon"....whatever. It was funny the next night wasn't "too soon"....girls :roll:

The first night she made me watch that movie "Love Actually". I would have rather had rusty nails driven up my urethra. But I stayed strong and kept my eyes open during the whole thing to make a good impression since it was her "Mostest favorite movie of ALL time!".

The pisser was she said afterwards I could have slept if I wanted to, she wouldn't have minded.....yeah right, I'm not that stupid. I just said "No worries, I actually liked it.". God, the things we do for poon.

Oh, and add:

XX.) If her bed is covered in stuffed animals
XXX.) If said stuffed animals all also have names, run like a motherfvcker!

 

[RaiderJ]

Some rules of mine:

1) Must be independent, able to hold down a job, and otherwise able to function apart from a relationship/parents/etc
2) Healthy relationship with parents (BIG requirement)
3) Able to maintain friendships with other females
4) Knows how to dress attractively without looking like trash
5) No excessive tattos or piercings
6) Educated or at least open to expanding their knowledge base
7) Enjoys outdoor and physical activities (i.e. isn't a couch potato)
8) Maintains themselves in physical appearance
9) Has hobbies besides "scrapbooking" (whatever the hell that is) & bars
10) Is over 5'2" - I'm 6'0" and I hate feeling like I'm dating a child

Pretty generic list, but it really rules out most women I come across.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: RaiderJ
Some rules of mine:

1) Must be independent, able to hold down a job, and otherwise able to function apart from a relationship/parents/etc
2) Healthy relationship with parents (BIG requirement)
3) Able to maintain friendships with other females
4) Knows how to dress attractively without looking like trash
5) No excessive tattos or piercings
6) Educated or at least open to expanding their knowledge base
7) Enjoys outdoor and physical activities (i.e. isn't a couch potato)
8) Maintains themselves in physical appearance
9) Has hobbies besides "scrapbooking" (whatever the hell that is) & bars
10) Is over 5'2" - I'm 6'0" and I hate feeling like I'm dating a child

Pretty generic list, but it really rules out most women I come across.

Honestly, I don't have a list.

When you get older, you just kind of know what kind of person you want and also which girls would actually be good for you in a relationship.

It isn't about a list. But I will say some of those things would be things I would look for myself. Not consciouisly, but I would notice them.

 

[eleison]

My only 2 criteria:

1)Must have big boobs...
2)Must like sex...

I plan on interacting with the girl only for sex. Being a man, I don't need or care for anything else.. no talking, no holding hands, no "so where were you all day?" etc... just sex please


Yes, I have low standards.. but because I have low standards, its easier for the girl to impress me.. "Wow, you read that news article about the Middle East all by yourself!!! Thats a good girl... Now come over here and give me a ..."

High standards always disappoint Do you really want to get disappointed time after time???

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: eleison
My only 2 criteria:

1)Must have big boobs...
2)Must like sex...

I plan on interacting with the girl only for sex. Being a man, I don't need or care for anything else.. no talking, no holding hands, no "so where were you all day?" etc... just sex please


Yes, I have low standards.. but because I have low standards, its easier for the girl to impress me.. "Wow, you read that news article about the Middle East all by yourself!!! Thats a good girl... Now come over here and give me a ..."

High standards always disappoint Do you really want to get disappointed time after time???

yeah, good luck with that

 

[halik]

Originally posted by: SpanishFry

Originally posted by: ultimatebob
Yeah, what's wrong with a lower back tattoo? Most guys I know consider it to be a target

he said dating, not plowing

I think my gf fails 4 of those, but they're relatively minor on the list. On the whole, I agree with your list. :thumbsup:

LMFAO

 

[Qwest]

"Must not live at home with parents"...that's my big one now.

 

[eleison]

Originally posted by: pontifex

yeah, good luck with that

considering I only have two criteria while some people have 10+... I think my odds are pretty good Heck, some people will not even date a girl with a trampstamp... dude, its only a trampstamp... I just dont' care... just as long as she has the following 2 simple, critera, i'm in like Flynn:

1)Must have big boobs...
2)Must like sex...

 

[iversonyin]

Originally posted by: Ronstang
So you will be dating your hand?

For the rest of his life.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: eleison

Originally posted by: pontifex

yeah, good luck with that

considering I only have two criteria while some people have 10+... I think my odds are pretty good Heck, some people will not even date a girl with a trampstamp... dude, its only a trampstamp... I just dont' care... just as long as she has the following 2 simple, critera, i'm in like Flynn:

1)Must have big boobs...
2)Must like sex...

but those are like huge requirements (no pun intended)

 

[jimbob200521]

The only one that I would take off of your original list is:

3) Has a tattoo on her lower back.

 

[imported_UncivilizedAMD]

12) Becomes mute any time there is a crisis.

Agreeed...This is a dealbreaker.

 

[Aikouka]

1) Continuously bemoans her terrible relationship with her father.

I think you should branch this one out into including past relationships. There's little worse than woman that constantly brings up exes.

2) Is unable to have a lasting friendship with a man.

Understandable, can show that she has the capability to be a friend as much as a lover.

3) Has a tattoo on her lower back.

Not really sure about this one... do you dislike it because it's considered more of a fad?

4) Acts annoyed with sports and shuns athletic activity.

Eh, that more or less aligns with your own personal activities. I play sports but not horribly often, so it wouldn't bother me.

5) Cultivates no meaningful hobbies or interests.

It really depends on how far this goes, I think. If she literally has nothing, then she's probably very dull to be around.

6) Displays fits of jealousy to any of my female friends.

Do you mean "toward" in this? I think a lot of people would dislike overly-jealous girlfriends, especially when they don't believe you that 'X' is just a friend.

7) Mentions any phobia involving insects, numbers, or colors.

Not so sure about this one here.. I can understand insects, but not the other ones. Personally, I don't like bugs or snakes, so I wouldn't mind that .

8) Persistently has dreams that would make a John Waters movie seem like a Disney production.

That's what you get if you date Hugh Hefner's daughter :Q!

9) Creates imaginary friends or relatives (and attends their mythical marriages and/or funerals!).

You are just supposed to drop your niece off at Kindergarten, not pick up your girlfriend!

10) Pretends that actual living friends or relatives have died.

Steer clear of the goths that are borderline emo.

11) Keeps a scrapbook of past relationships.

That's just creepy.

12) Becomes mute any time there is a crisis.

Depends on your definition of crisis.

13) Brags constantly about "that crazy time in college" when she kissed another girl.

I've seen college parties where "good girls" did this and I'd imagine that they'd talk about it like that, because it isn't normal for 'em. Although, I could see how bragging about it would become annoying and it's like, "Okay, I understand... you played the other field for 5 seconds... I looked over while at the urinal once.. beat that!"

14) Considers "Love Story," "Love Actually" or "Pretty Woman" to be movies worthy of romantic emulation.

You mean they can't imagine us in their own personal love stories .

15) Fails to appreciate the dramatic sophistication of "The Godfather" or the timeless humor of "The Simpsons"

Yet again, personal tastes.

16) Habitually falls into relationships to avoid being single.

Lack of self-confidence.

17) Needs to get drunk and/or high to feel comfortable with herself.

Same as 16.

18) Reveals long-term plans to change me into her "ideal" man.

Control freak, turn and put one foot ahead of the other repeatedly, alternate feet, repeat.

19) Believes that having sex with numerous men is "female empowerment."

As long as she also believes "female empowerment" is equivalent to "slut", that's cool.

20) Lives under the ridiculous delusion that a healthy intimate relationship can survive infidelity.

Understandable.

 

[MasonLuke]

Originally posted by: IgorFL
Based on personal experience, I created the following list. I'll be interested in hearing comments/suggestions/etc. (And yes, I realize that I'm effectively eliminating 99% of the female population with this list.)

Dating Rules

I will not date a girl if she:

1) Continuously bemoans her terrible relationship with her father.
2) Is unable to have a lasting friendship with a man.
3) Has a tattoo on her lower back.
4) Acts annoyed with sports and shuns athletic activity.
5) Cultivates no meaningful hobbies or interests.
6) Displays fits of jealousy to any of my female friends.
7) Mentions any phobia involving insects, numbers, or colors.
8) Persistently has dreams that would make a John Waters movie seem like a Disney production.
9) Creates imaginary friends or relatives (and attends their mythical marriages and/or funerals!).
10) Pretends that actual living friends or relatives have died.
11) Keeps a scrapbook of past relationships.
12) Becomes mute any time there is a crisis.
13) Brags constantly about "that crazy time in college" when she kissed another girl.
14) Considers "Love Story," "Love Actually" or "Pretty Woman" to be movies worthy of romantic emulation.
15) Fails to appreciate the dramatic sophistication of "The Godfather" or the timeless humor of "The Simpsons"
16) Habitually falls into relationships to avoid being single.
17) Needs to get drunk and/or high to feel comfortable with herself.
18) Reveals long-term plans to change me into her "ideal" man.
19) Believes that having sex with numerous men is "female empowerment."
20) Lives under the ridiculous delusion that a healthy intimate relationship can survive infidelity.

you will be using your right hand for a long time then. You eliminated 99% of all girls.

 

[ElFenix]

13 would get annoying as fsck after a while. *oh boy here she goes again* unless she is actively making out for your benefit with other hotties then the one time she necked with a girl a long time ago will get grating.

 

[interchange]

Originally posted by: IgorFL
Based on personal experience, I created the following list. I'll be interested in hearing comments/suggestions/etc. (And yes, I realize that I'm effectively eliminating 99% of the female population with this list.)

Dating Rules

I will not date a girl if she:

1) Continuously bemoans her terrible relationship with her father.
2) Is unable to have a lasting friendship with a man.
3) Has a tattoo on her lower back.
4) Acts annoyed with sports and shuns athletic activity.
5) Cultivates no meaningful hobbies or interests.
6) Displays fits of jealousy to any of my female friends.
7) Mentions any phobia involving insects, numbers, or colors.
8) Persistently has dreams that would make a John Waters movie seem like a Disney production.
9) Creates imaginary friends or relatives (and attends their mythical marriages and/or funerals!).
10) Pretends that actual living friends or relatives have died.
11) Keeps a scrapbook of past relationships.
12) Becomes mute any time there is a crisis.
13) Brags constantly about "that crazy time in college" when she kissed another girl.
14) Considers "Love Story," "Love Actually" or "Pretty Woman" to be movies worthy of romantic emulation.
15) Fails to appreciate the dramatic sophistication of "The Godfather" or the timeless humor of "The Simpsons"
16) Habitually falls into relationships to avoid being single.
17) Needs to get drunk and/or high to feel comfortable with herself.
18) Reveals long-term plans to change me into her "ideal" man.
19) Believes that having sex with numerous men is "female empowerment."
20) Lives under the ridiculous delusion that a healthy intimate relationship can survive infidelity.

My grandma Marjorie would be perfect for you. Her husband of 52 years Harold recently passed away, so you know she's faithful. He died with a stiffy and a big smile on his face. Sounds like a catch to me.

 

[blazerazor]

ARE YOU F'K'N MY OLD LADY!!!!

 

[Skotty]

Some of you are going to be rather lonely.

My list:
1) Must NOT like, want, or own a Lhasa Apso or any similar small yappy dog. Those dogs are the most awful things on the planet.
2) Must be okay with cats. I'm gonna have a cat. Non-negotiable.
3) Must NOT smoke.

Those are the only hard fast rules I can think of.

 

[TheVrolok]

Wow, good luck with that list.