Based on personal experience, I created the following list. I'll be interested in hearing comments/suggestions/etc. (And yes, I realize that I'm effectively eliminating 99% of the female population with this list.)
Dating Rules
I will not date a girl if she:
1) Continuously bemoans her terrible relationship with her father.
2) Is unable to have a lasting friendship with a man.
3) Has a tattoo on her lower back.
4) Acts annoyed with sports and shuns athletic activity.
5) Cultivates no meaningful hobbies or interests.
6) Displays fits of jealousy to any of my female friends.
7) Mentions any phobia involving insects, numbers, or colors.
8) Persistently has dreams that would make a John Waters movie seem like a Disney production.
9) Creates imaginary friends or relatives (and attends their mythical marriages and/or funerals!).
10) Pretends that actual living friends or relatives have died.
11) Keeps a scrapbook of past relationships.
12) Becomes mute any time there is a crisis.
13) Brags constantly about "that crazy time in college" when she kissed another girl.
14) Considers "Love Story," "Love Actually" or "Pretty Woman" to be movies worthy of romantic emulation.
15) Fails to appreciate the dramatic sophistication of "The Godfather" or the timeless humor of "The Simpsons"
16) Habitually falls into relationships to avoid being single.
17) Needs to get drunk and/or high to feel comfortable with herself.
18) Reveals long-term plans to change me into her "ideal" man.
19) Believes that having sex with numerous men is "female empowerment."
20) Lives under the ridiculous delusion that a healthy intimate relationship can survive infidelity.
Dating Rules
I will not date a girl if she:
1) Continuously bemoans her terrible relationship with her father.
2) Is unable to have a lasting friendship with a man.
3) Has a tattoo on her lower back.
4) Acts annoyed with sports and shuns athletic activity.
5) Cultivates no meaningful hobbies or interests.
6) Displays fits of jealousy to any of my female friends.
7) Mentions any phobia involving insects, numbers, or colors.
8) Persistently has dreams that would make a John Waters movie seem like a Disney production.
9) Creates imaginary friends or relatives (and attends their mythical marriages and/or funerals!).
10) Pretends that actual living friends or relatives have died.
11) Keeps a scrapbook of past relationships.
12) Becomes mute any time there is a crisis.
13) Brags constantly about "that crazy time in college" when she kissed another girl.
14) Considers "Love Story," "Love Actually" or "Pretty Woman" to be movies worthy of romantic emulation.
15) Fails to appreciate the dramatic sophistication of "The Godfather" or the timeless humor of "The Simpsons"
16) Habitually falls into relationships to avoid being single.
17) Needs to get drunk and/or high to feel comfortable with herself.
18) Reveals long-term plans to change me into her "ideal" man.
19) Believes that having sex with numerous men is "female empowerment."
20) Lives under the ridiculous delusion that a healthy intimate relationship can survive infidelity.
