- Oct 30, 2000
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Okay, I had a pretty huge YAGT thread which you can read here if you want.
I'm redoing this at the behest of some other members for easier reading. I'm going to break this story into sections with cliffs at the bottom for each section. If you don't like that, then tough.
STORY 1, starting date July 27, 2005
Okay, I'm a dork, I freely admit it. Always have been, always will be. I write computer software for a living. Still 27, live with a cat, and don't have a GF. Haven't been on many dates, I think about 5 in about as many years. I did mention I'm a dork right? As far as looks go, ehhh.. I'm average. Tall, but not too tall, not over weight, not muscular, and nothing really standing out on features, unless you count fish belly white skin color.
So, bearing all that in mind, here's the story. Driving home today from work, I stayed late. Frikking got a stupid java program due Friday and almsot done but still it's a ballbreaker. I haven't eaten all day and I decided to stop off for Quizno's on the way back home.
Pull into the parking lot and WTF? it's gone. Grrr... I usually go to the Quizno's closer to my office, but this was the one by my apartment that I've gone to very occasionally. Still hungry, and the only right there in the same parking lot is a Souper Salad. Bleh. But I'm hungry enough, and lazy enough not to drive anywhere so I go in.
As I'm walking in, I'm on the phone talking to a friend who's called me and asking to play some Texas Holdem tonight. Says it's going to be a big game with about 12 people and rebuys. While I'm talking, I walk into the Souper Salad and don't notice anything except it's dead. I walk up to the counter, still talking on the phone, looking out the window, and fumbling for my wallet.
I here someone ask if I would like something to drink with the buffet and I say tea over my shoulder. I hear, $8... something and turn around to hand over the cash when lo and behold my eyes fall on a beaut!!! The girl at the counter is hawt!
Sigh, I hand over the cash, and continue talking on the phone. My bitterness about hot women lately makes me force her out of my mind to focus on food and my conversation instead. I mentioned while I was the bar to my friend over the phone there was a cute girl at the counter and pick out my salad.
However, my ears betray me and I hear the hot girl making wierd noises despite me trying to put her out of my mind. She's turns to some older lady standing next to her that I missed earlier and blurts out she's bored already.
So I get my plate of overpriced salad and sit down to eat at the first available seat and start digging in. After a few bites something makes me look up and I notice the hot chick is checking me out! Nah, couldn't be. Maybe I'm eating to fast and it's grossing her out or something.
I look down to eat and then a shadow comes across my table and she's standing RIGHT THERE still looking at me.
Not knowing what to say or do I blurt out, "So your bored?"
"Yep, this job sucks and it's dead in here."
I look around and notice the only other people in there were an eldery hispanic couple in the far far corner. Being even stupider and not caring I said...
"Well, this is a perfect time to practice making random barnyard animal sounds."
"Dude, don't get me started, they might fire me if I try that right now. Then again I did just put in my two weeks already. What sound does an elephant make?"
"I duno, I don't think elephants are barnyard animals."
"What should I try?"
"How about a sheep?"
"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
I was thinking holy sh~t this chick is off her rocker she's making sheep noises. She stops suddenly and giggles and then plops down on the other side of the booth.
her:"Now what should I do?"
me:"You could tell some funny jokes."
her:"I don't know any jokes."
me:"Well, I only know some dorky ones."
her:"Humor me then"
me:"What do you call a closet full of lesbians?"
her:"I duno, what?"
me:"A liquor cabinet."
She laughs pretty damn loud at this. When she calms down I tell her another one.
me:"What's white or black and red all over but spins around on one spot?"
her:"ummm.... I give up."
me:"A baby with it's foot nailed to the floor." I make a circular motion with my hand spinning around in the air like a baby would do with it's foot nailed to the floor.
her:"OMG that's horrible!" yet she still cracks up laughing after making her mock horror face.
her:"Ack there's the boss, let me go wipe down the bar real quick so he doesn't come over here at least."
So she wanders off for a minute and I resumed eating. At least dinner wasn't going to be as boring as I thought. A few minutes later she returns and sits down again across from me in the booth.
her:"So what are you doing on the phone?"
me:"Just figuring out what I'm going to do tonight, looks like I'm going to play poker until 3am again. Do you play?"
her:"Nope, not my kind of thing to do. Tend to work too much. School, here and my other job."
me:"Oh? that's why you are so bored all the time, you need to go out and have fun more often. Just don't pass out like this my friend."
I then show her the pic of my friend passed out drunk and butt nekked in the bathtub at his place from his last party. She laughs at the pic and continues looking at the other pics in my phone and commenting on how she likes these types of phones. I couldn't think of much else to ask her except, "Where else do you work?"
"Oh at a club called Tiffany's" I'm thinking okay... Tiffany what? She notices my look and says, "Tiffany's Cabarette." The only Tiffany's Cabarette I can think of is a strip club off IH10.
me:"The one off IH10?"
her:"Yep"
me:"So are you a door girl? bartender? waitress?"
her:"keep going..."
me:"Dancer?"
her:"Yep!! using that job to make decent money and this crappy one so I don't have to claim as much in tips. But rather get a cashier job somewhere I don't have to deal with kids. So I applied at Linen and Things and start there soon. What do you do?"
me:"I'm a computer dork. Write software for the government."
her:"Cool. Nice picture of a cat in there by the way. I love cats. Is it yours?"
me:"Yep, the only pussy I get to pet every night."
She starts laughing hysterically at this. I keep thinking to myself, bleh, she's just passing the time so I might as well have fun with this situation since chances are it won't happen again. We talk about crap, making fun of people that walk in, and general chit chat. Her school, where she wants to go and crap. She gets up occasionally to ring people up who come in or wipe down or fill the salad bar. She turns to me at one point and asks how old I am. I say guess. She guesses 26, close but 27. She tells me she's then 18. I'm like HOLY SH~T!!!!! I thought she was 20-22. Not 18!
Finally, I realized I've been talking to her for like 2 hours and I still didn't even know her name at all. She wasn't wearing a name tag. I FINALLY managed to introduce myself.
me:"Oh yah, by the way, My names Tim, or Mit backwards."
her:"Emma or Amy backwards." she is still giggling/laughing at my pathetic attempts for humor so I keep it up.
her:"oh here give me your phone you dimwit."
me:"huh? uhh okay."
she punches in her number into my phone. "there call me. geez I was wondering when you were going to ask me for it."
me:"I was suppose to?"
her:"Well yes you are. How often does a girl hit on you?"
me:"Not often enough I guess to remember to ask for a phone number."
her:"Good, well call me after your poker game."
me:"Yes maam!"
She smiles, winks, and we continue talking a bit more on crap. Finally, I head off home to get ready, this was about 30 minutes ago when I started writing this after walking in the door so I could change out of my dorky ass work clothes, for poker. Maybe I won't get to bed tonight at 3AM!!!
CLIFFS
1) dorky guy gets off work late and looks for place to eat.
2) dorky guy walks into Super Salad after noticing his Quizno's is closed down
3) Dorky guy notices hot chick working there
4) Hot chick proceeds to hit on dorky guy who's too clueless to realize it
5) Girl turns out to also be a hot stripper dancer.
6) Girl puts number in dorky guys phone for him and tells him to call her.
7) ....
8) profit?
I'm redoing this at the behest of some other members for easier reading. I'm going to break this story into sections with cliffs at the bottom for each section. If you don't like that, then tough.
STORY 1, starting date July 27, 2005
Okay, I'm a dork, I freely admit it. Always have been, always will be. I write computer software for a living. Still 27, live with a cat, and don't have a GF. Haven't been on many dates, I think about 5 in about as many years. I did mention I'm a dork right? As far as looks go, ehhh.. I'm average. Tall, but not too tall, not over weight, not muscular, and nothing really standing out on features, unless you count fish belly white skin color.
So, bearing all that in mind, here's the story. Driving home today from work, I stayed late. Frikking got a stupid java program due Friday and almsot done but still it's a ballbreaker. I haven't eaten all day and I decided to stop off for Quizno's on the way back home.
Pull into the parking lot and WTF? it's gone. Grrr... I usually go to the Quizno's closer to my office, but this was the one by my apartment that I've gone to very occasionally. Still hungry, and the only right there in the same parking lot is a Souper Salad. Bleh. But I'm hungry enough, and lazy enough not to drive anywhere so I go in.
As I'm walking in, I'm on the phone talking to a friend who's called me and asking to play some Texas Holdem tonight. Says it's going to be a big game with about 12 people and rebuys. While I'm talking, I walk into the Souper Salad and don't notice anything except it's dead. I walk up to the counter, still talking on the phone, looking out the window, and fumbling for my wallet.
I here someone ask if I would like something to drink with the buffet and I say tea over my shoulder. I hear, $8... something and turn around to hand over the cash when lo and behold my eyes fall on a beaut!!! The girl at the counter is hawt!
Sigh, I hand over the cash, and continue talking on the phone. My bitterness about hot women lately makes me force her out of my mind to focus on food and my conversation instead. I mentioned while I was the bar to my friend over the phone there was a cute girl at the counter and pick out my salad.
However, my ears betray me and I hear the hot girl making wierd noises despite me trying to put her out of my mind. She's turns to some older lady standing next to her that I missed earlier and blurts out she's bored already.
So I get my plate of overpriced salad and sit down to eat at the first available seat and start digging in. After a few bites something makes me look up and I notice the hot chick is checking me out! Nah, couldn't be. Maybe I'm eating to fast and it's grossing her out or something.
I look down to eat and then a shadow comes across my table and she's standing RIGHT THERE still looking at me.
Not knowing what to say or do I blurt out, "So your bored?"
"Yep, this job sucks and it's dead in here."
I look around and notice the only other people in there were an eldery hispanic couple in the far far corner. Being even stupider and not caring I said...
"Well, this is a perfect time to practice making random barnyard animal sounds."
"Dude, don't get me started, they might fire me if I try that right now. Then again I did just put in my two weeks already. What sound does an elephant make?"
"I duno, I don't think elephants are barnyard animals."
"What should I try?"
"How about a sheep?"
"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
I was thinking holy sh~t this chick is off her rocker she's making sheep noises. She stops suddenly and giggles and then plops down on the other side of the booth.
her:"Now what should I do?"
me:"You could tell some funny jokes."
her:"I don't know any jokes."
me:"Well, I only know some dorky ones."
her:"Humor me then"
me:"What do you call a closet full of lesbians?"
her:"I duno, what?"
me:"A liquor cabinet."
She laughs pretty damn loud at this. When she calms down I tell her another one.
me:"What's white or black and red all over but spins around on one spot?"
her:"ummm.... I give up."
me:"A baby with it's foot nailed to the floor." I make a circular motion with my hand spinning around in the air like a baby would do with it's foot nailed to the floor.
her:"OMG that's horrible!" yet she still cracks up laughing after making her mock horror face.
her:"Ack there's the boss, let me go wipe down the bar real quick so he doesn't come over here at least."
So she wanders off for a minute and I resumed eating. At least dinner wasn't going to be as boring as I thought. A few minutes later she returns and sits down again across from me in the booth.
her:"So what are you doing on the phone?"
me:"Just figuring out what I'm going to do tonight, looks like I'm going to play poker until 3am again. Do you play?"
her:"Nope, not my kind of thing to do. Tend to work too much. School, here and my other job."
me:"Oh? that's why you are so bored all the time, you need to go out and have fun more often. Just don't pass out like this my friend."
I then show her the pic of my friend passed out drunk and butt nekked in the bathtub at his place from his last party. She laughs at the pic and continues looking at the other pics in my phone and commenting on how she likes these types of phones. I couldn't think of much else to ask her except, "Where else do you work?"
"Oh at a club called Tiffany's" I'm thinking okay... Tiffany what? She notices my look and says, "Tiffany's Cabarette." The only Tiffany's Cabarette I can think of is a strip club off IH10.
me:"The one off IH10?"
her:"Yep"
me:"So are you a door girl? bartender? waitress?"
her:"keep going..."
me:"Dancer?"
her:"Yep!! using that job to make decent money and this crappy one so I don't have to claim as much in tips. But rather get a cashier job somewhere I don't have to deal with kids. So I applied at Linen and Things and start there soon. What do you do?"
me:"I'm a computer dork. Write software for the government."
her:"Cool. Nice picture of a cat in there by the way. I love cats. Is it yours?"
me:"Yep, the only pussy I get to pet every night."
She starts laughing hysterically at this. I keep thinking to myself, bleh, she's just passing the time so I might as well have fun with this situation since chances are it won't happen again. We talk about crap, making fun of people that walk in, and general chit chat. Her school, where she wants to go and crap. She gets up occasionally to ring people up who come in or wipe down or fill the salad bar. She turns to me at one point and asks how old I am. I say guess. She guesses 26, close but 27. She tells me she's then 18. I'm like HOLY SH~T!!!!! I thought she was 20-22. Not 18!
Finally, I realized I've been talking to her for like 2 hours and I still didn't even know her name at all. She wasn't wearing a name tag. I FINALLY managed to introduce myself.
me:"Oh yah, by the way, My names Tim, or Mit backwards."
her:"Emma or Amy backwards." she is still giggling/laughing at my pathetic attempts for humor so I keep it up.
her:"oh here give me your phone you dimwit."
me:"huh? uhh okay."
she punches in her number into my phone. "there call me. geez I was wondering when you were going to ask me for it."
me:"I was suppose to?"
her:"Well yes you are. How often does a girl hit on you?"
me:"Not often enough I guess to remember to ask for a phone number."
her:"Good, well call me after your poker game."
me:"Yes maam!"
She smiles, winks, and we continue talking a bit more on crap. Finally, I head off home to get ready, this was about 30 minutes ago when I started writing this after walking in the door so I could change out of my dorky ass work clothes, for poker. Maybe I won't get to bed tonight at 3AM!!!
CLIFFS
1) dorky guy gets off work late and looks for place to eat.
2) dorky guy walks into Super Salad after noticing his Quizno's is closed down
3) Dorky guy notices hot chick working there
4) Hot chick proceeds to hit on dorky guy who's too clueless to realize it
5) Girl turns out to also be a hot stripper dancer.
6) Girl puts number in dorky guys phone for him and tells him to call her.
7) ....
8) profit?
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