YAGT: need advice on a date with this chick...

[gigapet]

its ok to really like a girl....but dont turn into a soft pile of mush on her. She still wants a man. Don't tell her how you feel thats a pussything to do. Show her how you feel thats what will get her engine revved.

so yeah just play it cool. keep the date low key, nothing fancy and keep close to your house

 

[gigapet]

Originally posted by: bamacre
Yup, take it easy and have fun. If all goes well, tell her what you told us...

Normally I dont care much about dates because I am only physically attracted to the chicks I ask out, but she is different. I like actually "really" like her alot and dont want to screw this up.

Most girls like it when you are honest about your feelings for them.

thats bullsh1t unless you are already in a realtionship with them. In the beginning professing your feelings is a huge turn off, I learned the hard way. DONT LISTEN TO THIS

 

[CVSiN]

Originally posted by: MetalMat
Alright I know its kind of lame asking atot for dating advice, but I am stuck here at work for a while and I need some suggestions.

First of all, yes I have been on dates many times before and I know the basics. Unfortunantly I am 23 have never had a real relationship, in fact never had one for over 2 weeks. Most of the time when I go on a date I am not really worried about the outcome, thus not really nervous on most dates. Usually I dont know much about her and vice versa when it comes to a first date and it is only physical attractions. They end up usually not working due to incompatibilities.

However, this chick is different. I met her out of the blue in a bar when I was not even trying to get any women that night (I was dressed in an AC/DC 1995 tour shirt, fairly unkempt and unshaven), I was pretty much there just to get drunk and play pool with my friends. However, I walk by her and she mentions she likes AC/DC. We talk a little bit, I ask for her #, and she puts her # in my phone. This never really happens to me, I usually have to try really hard to get women and get rejected all the time (lesbians, boyfriend bomb, moving, I heard it all).

Anyways, fast forward to last weekend. I tell her to come out and watch my band play friday. She came out, but unfortunantly we could not talk too much cause I knew way too many people in the bar and had to help haul crap in and out for the bands. I felt really sorry for leaving her alone, and she ended up leaving during my set cause there were way too many people in the bar and she knew nobody. She got a ride to a bar with a couple of her other friends (female) , however she called me up and asked me to come out there with her. Unfortunantly I had to decline cause I had to help the bands pick crap up. She came back to pick up her car, called me when she came to get her car, we talked some more, I asked her to grab some drinks with me at a bar Saturday night, she sad yes, hugged for a while, and she left. However, looking into her eyes when she left I knew she liked me and I actually really liked her (yeah its sappy).

So Saturday night we meet up at the bar and talk for a while over some drinks. After about an hour or so of great conversation I ask her out for a date Thursday and she said yes rather happily. Her friends ended up coming over later, we all joked around and a group of us went over to her friends house. While over there we kept talking and ended up all over each other. I got her to drop me off at my van, we kissed, and I was on my way.

So here I am, really nervous about Thurday night. Normally I dont care much about dates because I am only physically attracted to the chicks I ask out, but she is different. I like actually "really" like her alot and dont want to screw this up. Anyone have some suggestions?

mat your overthinking bro... just keep doing what your doing.. be yourself... dont get all froze up...

a date is nothing more than 2 people hanging out getting to know each other..
take her to a bar play some pool... a movie then dinner or drinks.. and just be yourself man.

 

[MetalMat]

THanks for the pointer dudes

 

[Muadib]

I agree with the masses, just keep being you. I've never been down your neck of the woods, but good food has rarely failed me.

 

[HumblePie]

Well... I guess I'm in a similar situation, but my "official" "big" date I made with my chick I met last week is Friday night. I'm basically going to set up a dinner at a nice restuarant and a walk through downtown and the river.

I've been like you bud except its taken me a bit longer at 27. No real long relationships at all. a Couple fvck buddies I had for a few weeks but ended up breaking off for one reason or another. Usually because of me not wanting it to be just fvck buddies and her wanting only that. But like you, the one I'm with is different.

I suggest just being yourself. I know I'm trying my damnest to relax around her and the easiest thing is talk about what I like and just ask her the standard get to know her type questions. I always thought these were corny but women really love being asked certain questions. Don't go to deep like what's her favorite position or something a little to personal at first. Here are some topics of conversation I recommend for you.

Ask her about silly stuff like favorite food, favorite music, favorite shows, and such. Any response you get back that you know about use that to expand upon a bit. If she says she loves seafood and you know a great seafood resturaunt ask her if she's been there and whether she has or hasn't talk to her about the food and what they serve. Only do this if you've been there and like what she likes. Otherwise move on. But don't forget to answer any of questions AND answer the same questions you ask her.

You already know she likes AC/DC for example. Ask her what attracted her to the music. See if she likes any other similar bands like Judas Priest or something along those lines. Ask her favorite song. When she first heard it. It's all silly but still good info. Try to pick up on clues in what she is talking about. When I say clues, these are things that can lead to the next topic of conversation. Like her saying she got into AC/DC while listening to it with a sibling... then you can start talking about families. Move the conversation around. Before you know it, horus have passed by and you both feel better about knowing a bit more about each other.

If the chick really digs you, shes going to have plenty of questions of her own but may be shyer about asking them. However, if she initiates the conversation, just sti back and relax and let her control the flow until it seems like it might be waning.

Different people talk about different things, she might give you cues that she wants to talk abou more personal stuff and if that doesn't bother you, go right ahead but always proceed with caution in my opinion when treading the personal waters for the first time. Personal tends to be bad past experiences (which isn't bad to talk about unless it's all she talks about), anything sexual beyond innuedos and even those are to be careful with, past relationships (I try to stay far from these when first meeting someone and let them initiate), religion, politics, and the "weather" are all bad topics of conversation to start with.

So far, it sounds to me like you are doing everything just right. She likes you. You like her. You are actin yourself and treating her just like any other friend but perhaps a tad more special. Which is good. Don't go overboard because women are finicking creatures.

Part of the reason I'm typing this all out isn't just to answer the OP's question either but to get myself ready for my date as well. Practice, moderation, and timing are always key for starting out with girls. Having a flexible game plan is what you need and don't fake interest in anything she likes if you don't like it. Agree with what you agree on and disagree with what you disagree on. Try to steer he conversation to topics you both agree on but don't sweat it if you run into topics where opinion differ.

 

[vi edit]

One suggestion I have is to maybe try an activity that isn't at a bar and that doesn't involve alcohol.

Use it as a control group and see if you two can get along without a couple beers in you and at a place where the booze isn't flowing freely.

A couple beers always makes things easier. And more fun. See if you both connect without it though.

Just a thought.

 

[SMOGZINN]

Sounds like you are way past first date territory. This actually sounds like 3rd date. Sounds like you are really just asking for ideas on what to do. That is really hard to say without knowing more about your situation, like do you have money to do something elaborate, say a few hundred for a balloon ride, or are we talking about Fridays and a movie for $50? Where are you at? Could you do something outside, or does rain and/or heat make it uncomfortable? Are you in a large city where we could reasonably expect you to be able to find some of the more exotic entertainment, like the aforementioned hot air balloon ride, or a late night horse buggy ride in a park?

The only thing I would say in advice (even though you didn't ask for it) is go some where away from your and her friends, you have already did the whole 'fit in with his/her crowd' thing, and it seems you both passed muster. Now it is time to see what each of you are like away from your respective social circles.

 

[habib89]

relax.. have fun! she obviously likes you or at least you two have the same interests.. just be yourself.. that's how you were when you met her, and that's what she liked... good luck :beer:

 

[slightlyhuman]

out to eat, then go to a park and just walk around and talk.

 

[Saint Nick]

Originally posted by: DP
out to eat, then go to a park and just walk around and talk.

i do this a lot, its not bad at all. give you time to really get to know each other and such. you'll end up having more fun than you think.

 

[MrMaster]

wow.

For the most part an intelligent YAGT with good questions and good answers.

My 2 cents is the people that are telling you to be yourself and go anywhere you want just as long as it isn't too loud for a conversation(no bars!) is the perfect advice.

And boy do I wish someone would have given me the no bars advice earlier. I've had 2 dates ruined (one just 2 weeks ago) because I decided to meet at a local drinking establishment.

Plus, this is just a "formal" date. Don't look at it as such. You've already talked and hung out with her so it is only a 1st date in a technicality way.

 

[Hammerhead]

Originally posted by: BigJ
Don't go out with loaded gun.

flog the dolphin

 

[tami]

looks good. just play it out. whatever you've done so far has been pretty good, so keep up the good work.

 

[blakeatwork]

Originally posted by: Mookow

Originally posted by: MazerRackham
You've already made out with her and you're worried about your "first" date? WTF! Talk about no pressure dude. Don't even sweat it... unless you hold her down and take a sh!t on her chest I'd say you should be just fine.

Hey now, some girls are into that.

Pynoir does NOT like being referred to as a "girl"...

OP, are you looking for an intimate setting, or a setting where's there's a fair number of people? Go to a pub, grab a couple drinks, then ah heck off to wherever... don't feel bad asking her if she has any favorite locales...

 

[elektrolokomotive]

You have a van.

'nuff said.

 

[NatePo717]

Originally posted by: Hammerhead

Originally posted by: BigJ
Don't go out with loaded gun.

flog the dolphin

 

[MetalMat]

Update at op.

:beer:

 

[gigapet]

did you smash?

 

[PingSpike]

She likes you a lot obviously, you'd have to do something really dumb to fvck it up now.