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YAGT: Moving in pains

D

Doboji

Diamond Member
So 2 weeks ago my Fiancee and I moved in together.... hell has already commenced to descend upon the earth. She has been laying the smack down on everything that costs any money proclaiming that I am horribly wasteful and am a gross overspender.

Some of the huge arguments as of late:

1. No digital cable... Cox requires the digital cable in order to provide HDTV, I have a 47 inch HDTV.

2. No broadband internet.... she says $39.99 is waaay too much to pay for internet.

3. I love soy milk. She does not want me drinking the Soy milk, she says it's only for cereal. She says I'll go through it too fast if I drink it, and it's too expensive.

4. Yesterday when I came home from work, I had a huge bowl of cereal. She's mad... I ate too much she says.

Damn man... I feel like she's trying to be my mother and not my SO. I've managed to demand and win the Internet argument... however the current status of the argument is I only get (1) at the introductory rate, after that goes away in 3 months she wants me to reduce to basic cable.

I make double the salary she does... I feel like I oughta be able to say "ooga booga, me man, me make money, me drink soy milk". Argh... ATOT help me save my man card... this is getting ridiculous.

-Max
 
are you trying to save money for something like a house?

are you strapped for cash?

if the answer to both is no, then you should be allowed your luxuries, though i wouldn't call soy milk a luxury 😛
 
Wow. Sucks for you...have a :beer:

Or is that too expensive?

I kid, I kid. Seriously, though, tell her what's on your mind. If you make twice as much as her, she really shouldn't have a problem with the way you spend your money. If you split bills, or on joint accounts already, you need to put your foot down and remind her that you make more than enough money to cover the "luxuries" you want (like soy milk 😛)
 
It is a harsh situation Max.

You make more money but do you SAVE more money?

Can't you get a cheaper broadband? I live at home but if I lived out on my own I'd get cheaper broadband then we currently do. I don't need 3mbps but...😛

Soy milk is fine. She spends on her make up and stuff right? You get your soy milk. Does she get stuff she doesn't need?

Food you can eat as much as you want man! IT IS FOOD. You need to eat.

How much is the digital cable?

I take it you guys aren't strapped for cash right? Probably not rolling in it but your not both getting killed by debts right?

Koing
 
Is there something you are saving up for?? Why is she being so frugal? $39 is expensive for internet (IMHO), that's why I use work's...
 
If my future SO tells me that my 500kb/sec download 100kb/sec upload which costs 50 bucks a month is too expensive and not needed...I think I'm going to cry
 
get dsl? better than the damn phone lines. we've become accustomed to having the internet at our fingertips dammit... you go phone's, it's at least $10/mo for the isp, then another $20 for a second phone line (more if you're just having a land line for modem use and rely on the cell more).. you're already at $30 for slow ass internet....

as for digital cable.. well... got nothing there, I could care less about tv 🙂
 
Originally posted by: Doboji
So 2 weeks ago my Fiancee and I moved in together.... hell has already commenced to descend upon the earth. She has been laying the smack down on everything that costs any money proclaiming that I am horribly wasteful and am a gross overspender.

Some of the huge arguments as of late:

1. No digital cable... Cox requires the digital cable in order to provide HDTV, I have a 47 inch HDTV.

2. No broadband internet.... she says $39.99 is waaay too much to pay for internet.

3. I love soy milk. She does not want me drinking the Soy milk, she says it's only for cereal. She says I'll go through it too fast if I drink it, and it's too expensive.

4. Yesterday when I came home from work, I had a huge bowl of cereal. She's mad... I ate too much she says.

Damn man... I feel like she's trying to be my mother and not my SO. I've managed to demand and win the Internet argument... however the current status of the argument is I only get (1) at the introductory rate, after that goes away in 3 months she wants me to reduce to basic cable.

I make double the salary she does... I feel like I oughta be able to say "ooga booga, me man, me make money, me drink soy milk". Argh... ATOT help me save my man card... this is getting ridiculous.

-Max
Click to expand...



If you are engaged and moved in together, never argue who makes more money and never argue that it's your money..


Compromise...
 
Originally posted by: Koing
It is a harsh situation Max.

You make more money but do you SAVE more money?

Can't you get a cheaper broadband? I live at home but if I lived out on my own I'd get cheaper broadband then we currently do. I don't need 3mbps but...😛

Soy milk is fine. She spends on her make up and stuff right? You get your soy milk. Does she get stuff she doesn't need?

Food you can eat as much as you want man! IT IS FOOD. You need to eat.

How much is the digital cable?

I take it you guys aren't strapped for cash right? Probably not rolling in it but your not both getting killed by debts right?

Koing
Click to expand...

We're doing fine as far as money goes... I'm pulling enough myself to cover all our bills and expenses(including internet and cable)... and still save about 300-400 bucks a month. She is just uber cheap and "can't justify wasting money".

Blech...

-Max
 
<quickest way to get on the sofa>
Tell her that her ring was a pretty wasteful departing of money
</quickest way to get on the sofa>

Seriously, she needs to relax. You should find a few things that provide you entertainment. Maybe she wants to rid these things so you spend more time with her and less time with your computer and tv.
 
Originally posted by: Doboji
We're doing fine as far as money goes... I'm pulling enough myself to cover all our bills and expenses(including internet and cable)... and still save about 300-400 bucks a month. She is just uber cheap and "can't justify wasting money".

Blech...

-Max
Click to expand...

The less you spend now, the more she'll get in the divorce.
 
Originally posted by: Doboji
Originally posted by: Koing
It is a harsh situation Max.

You make more money but do you SAVE more money?

Can't you get a cheaper broadband? I live at home but if I lived out on my own I'd get cheaper broadband then we currently do. I don't need 3mbps but...😛

Soy milk is fine. She spends on her make up and stuff right? You get your soy milk. Does she get stuff she doesn't need?

Food you can eat as much as you want man! IT IS FOOD. You need to eat.

How much is the digital cable?

I take it you guys aren't strapped for cash right? Probably not rolling in it but your not both getting killed by debts right?

Koing
Click to expand...

We're doing fine as far as money goes... I'm pulling enough myself to cover all our bills and expenses(including internet and cable)... and still save about 300-400 bucks a month. She is just uber cheap and "can't justify wasting money".

Blech...

-Max
Click to expand...

I see.

She just seems really frugal then. Your already saving 300-400 each month!

Koing
 
Without TV or Internet access that leaves little in the way of entertainment at home. I don't see the problem if your footing the bill for it.
 
you don't know someone until you live with them....

i am sorry. You need to talk to her. It is hard for both parties to adjust but you need to let her know how you feel and you need to compromise.

I am sorry that she wont let you use a lot of soy milk... i LOVE cereal too and my FI makes fun because i can go though a box of cereal in a day or two.

anyways, you will have to learn to deal with her quirks and vise versa.
Stand your ground yet try to be understanding. I feel sorry for you that she has your "guys" with a strong grip.
 
Draw up a spreadsheet of income and expenses showing her how much you'll have left over after savings (meaning putting some away). If she still complains, time to find a new woman, your marriage will be a literal hell.
 
Start telling her she needs to cut back on some of her expenses, use the same arguments she does, but do it in a much nicer way. Eventually she'll get sick of you telling her that her makeup is too expensive and that she looks way better without it anyways, and let you win a few battles.

As far as the man card goes, I'm afraid there's no hope for it. I'm not even engaged yet (sometime this summer) and I've already surrendered mine with no hope of regaining it ever.
 
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