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YAGT: Mom dumped me

Circlenaut

Circlenaut

Platinum Member
Well, that's it. My gf just broke up with me. I asked her if she still loved me, to which she said "yes I am" and that she's "very sorry". She won't say it her self but I'm 100% sure it's her mother that doesn't want to see me. Her dad's ok with me and so's her older brother. BTW I'm 19 and she's 18 going off to college.

I know it's not because she sees me as some evil dead beat, I'll honestly be the best this girl will probably get... But ever since we've been together, her mother wanted her to marry this guy in vietnam. The whole, I'll pay you 40k to get me to the U.S. kind of thing. Her mom thought it we were just a "fling" and it wouldn't interfere with the "deal". Of course after she came back from vietnam without the guy, I think issues developed. After I told her how bad of an idea and dangerious it is to do something like this. Especially after ICE posted news about focusing on vietnamese marriage frauds...

And she has't been able to deal with it. I told her, "if you don't break away from your mom now, you'll end up marrying the man she wants instead of the man you love". She said "I know, I regret what I'm doing". She was sobbing during the hole 54 min conversation.

Meh, sad thing is there's nothing I can do except hope that her love for me is strong enough to over come this. If not then... I have to give her up. I'm past depressed now, I'm just apathetic. And I don't care to grammer check/ cliffs and I'll just psuedo paragraph.

Just... numb...
 
That sucks, man. Despite the "break up", you know she'd prefer to be with you. Stick around, be there for her. She'll miss you in college, and I'd wager she gets up the guts to turn her mom down sometime not too far off.

[edit] Oh, and I wouldn't hesitate to remind her that fraud marriage for immigration purposes is a crime in the US.
 
Originally posted by: Raiden256
What in the hell are we talking about again? This post hurt my brain.
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seriosuly...


asked her if she still loved me, to which she said "yes I am" and that she's "very sorry".
Click to expand...


😕




seriosuly OP, that sucks....best of luck to you....if it contineus though, even for a bit, let her go.
 
Hang in there man and stay in touch with her, when she goes off to college the strangehold her Mom has on her will fade quickly

I realize that espesially in Asian culture respect and honor for the parents wishes are strong, but the independence and individualism fostered in college may help her overcome this🙂
 
Sorry, Pippy. 🙁

I know it hurts, but you really are better off. You don't need your mother-in-law running your life together. And you know she would.
 
Originally posted by: michaels
Dude she is about to go to college, she is interested in screwing guys at frat parties.
Click to expand...

I know for a fact she's not like that at all. She'll probably be inside books 24/7. She's very competative and feels inferior unless she does her best in school. She was like that in H.S. I thank her for it as it rubbed on me senior year. My senior year was by far my best H.S. year. I just told my mom and how her mother would dis-own her if she doesn't do as her mother says. My mom didn't believe me but then I told her her asian culture actually does this... My mom's pretty ticked and threated to go talk to her mom. I told her just to back off and let her deal with it. It's a choice she has to make that will affect the rest of her life. As Brazillians we just don't understand this at all. We believe if you love someone then there's nothing that can get in the way, even parent.s
 
Originally posted by: HotChic
That sucks, man. Despite the "break up", you know she'd prefer to be with you. Stick around, be there for her. She'll miss you in college, and I'd wager she gets up the guts to turn her mom down sometime not too far off.

[edit] Oh, and I wouldn't hesitate to remind her that fraud marriage for immigration purposes is a crime in the US.
Click to expand...

Yeah she said she still wants to be "friends". Normally I'd say "fvck off", but in this case I know it's a way for her to at least see me. And yes I do hope that after she starts college, independence will kick in. I'm patient and will let her come around on her own terms.
 
Originally posted by: Pippy
Originally posted by: michaels
Dude she is about to go to college, she is interested in screwing guys at frat parties.
Click to expand...

I know for a fact she's not like that at all. She'll probably be inside books 24/7. She's very competative and feels inferior unless she does her best in school. She was like that in H.S. I thank her for it as it rubbed on me senior year. My senior year was by far my best H.S. year. I just told my mom and how her mother would dis-own her if she doesn't do as her mother says. My mom didn't believe me but then I told her her asian culture actually does this... My mom's pretty ticked and threated to go talk to her mom. I told her just to back off and let her deal with it. It's a choice she has to make that will affect the rest of her life. As Brazillians we just don't understand this at all. We believe if you love someone then there's nothing that can get in the way, even parent.s
Click to expand...

That's what every guy says until they're surprised to learn they're the exact opposite.
 
Originally posted by: Descartes
Originally posted by: Pippy
Originally posted by: michaels
Dude she is about to go to college, she is interested in screwing guys at frat parties.
Click to expand...

I know for a fact she's not like that at all. She'll probably be inside books 24/7. She's very competative and feels inferior unless she does her best in school. She was like that in H.S. I thank her for it as it rubbed on me senior year. My senior year was by far my best H.S. year. I just told my mom and how her mother would dis-own her if she doesn't do as her mother says. My mom didn't believe me but then I told her her asian culture actually does this... My mom's pretty ticked and threated to go talk to her mom. I told her just to back off and let her deal with it. It's a choice she has to make that will affect the rest of her life. As Brazillians we just don't understand this at all. We believe if you love someone then there's nothing that can get in the way, even parent.s
Click to expand...

That's what every guy says until they're surprised to learn they're the exact opposite.
Click to expand...
Bitter much? You might be surprised to learn, but girls are human beings with the ability to make independent choices. Not all women will cheat.
 
Originally posted by: Descartes
Originally posted by: Pippy
Originally posted by: michaels
Dude she is about to go to college, she is interested in screwing guys at frat parties.
Click to expand...

I know for a fact she's not like that at all. She'll probably be inside books 24/7. She's very competative and feels inferior unless she does her best in school. She was like that in H.S. I thank her for it as it rubbed on me senior year. My senior year was by far my best H.S. year. I just told my mom and how her mother would dis-own her if she doesn't do as her mother says. My mom didn't believe me but then I told her her asian culture actually does this... My mom's pretty ticked and threated to go talk to her mom. I told her just to back off and let her deal with it. It's a choice she has to make that will affect the rest of her life. As Brazillians we just don't understand this at all. We believe if you love someone then there's nothing that can get in the way, even parent.s
Click to expand...

That's what every guy says until they're surprised to learn they're the exact opposite.
Click to expand...

Seen that in action.
 
Of course not all girls are like that, but lets be honest here. 18+strict, controlling parents+freedom of college=Girls Gone Wild
 
Originally posted by: michaels
Of course not all guys are like that, but lets be honest here. 18+strict, controlling parents+no freedom of college = 40 year old virgin.
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Ahahaha...

My future... :laugh:

 
Originally posted by: HotChic
Originally posted by: Descartes
Originally posted by: Pippy
Originally posted by: michaels
Dude she is about to go to college, she is interested in screwing guys at frat parties.
Click to expand...

I know for a fact she's not like that at all. She'll probably be inside books 24/7. She's very competative and feels inferior unless she does her best in school. She was like that in H.S. I thank her for it as it rubbed on me senior year. My senior year was by far my best H.S. year. I just told my mom and how her mother would dis-own her if she doesn't do as her mother says. My mom didn't believe me but then I told her her asian culture actually does this... My mom's pretty ticked and threated to go talk to her mom. I told her just to back off and let her deal with it. It's a choice she has to make that will affect the rest of her life. As Brazillians we just don't understand this at all. We believe if you love someone then there's nothing that can get in the way, even parent.s
Click to expand...

That's what every guy says until they're surprised to learn they're the exact opposite.
Click to expand...
Bitter much? You might be surprised to learn, but girls are human beings with the ability to make independent choices. Not all women will cheat.
Click to expand...

It's not cheating if you're already broken up. Not that it's women only, I know about an even split between the sexes of people that broke up with their SO just so they could play the field at college.
 
Originally posted by: michaels
Of course not all girls are like that, but lets be honest here. 18+strict, controlling parents+freedom of college=Girls Gone Wild
Click to expand...

Didn't happen for me, and I fit that mold. People control their choices, regardless of the circumstances. It's easy to use circumstances as an excuse, but ultimately it comes down to what the person chooses to do.
 
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