YAGT: Just found out she didn't cheat on me

[Dean]

I agree with eits. It is not always black and white. I was cheated on by my ex girlfriend, and I ended that relationship. I hated her for what she did to me. After having a couple years to mature and reflect, I realized I was at least 50% at fault. I was never there for her emotionally and basically treated her like a live in piece of tail.

When a significant other cheats on you, it is easy to lay the blame game on them. Before you do, try to take a long look at yourself also to see where it went wrong. They may be 100% at fault, 50%, or less. You may also find out that you two were never meant to be together.

 

[Molondo]

Originally posted by: Dean
I agree with eits. It is not always black and white. I was cheated on by my ex girlfriend, and I ended that relationship. I hated her for what she did to me. After having a couple years to mature and reflect, I realized I was at least 50% at fault. I was never there for her emotionally and basically treated her like a live in piece of tail.

When a significant other cheats on you, it is easy to lay the blame game on them. Before you do, try to take a long look at yourself also to see where it went wrong. They may be 100% at fault, 50%, or less. You may also find out that you two were never meant to be together.

well said.

 

[Garet Jax]

Originally posted by: Cookie
I don't have one. There are absolutely no circumstances in which I would cheat on my SO. Period. (Unless maybe I was raped, but I assume that would not count)

I don't believe you. That's like saying you have no price.

 

[mchammer]

Originally posted by: Dean
I agree with eits. It is not always black and white. I was cheated on by my ex girlfriend, and I ended that relationship. I hated her for what she did to me. After having a couple years to mature and reflect, I realized I was at least 50% at fault. I was never there for her emotionally and basically treated her like a live in piece of tail.

When a significant other cheats on you, it is easy to lay the blame game on them. Before you do, try to take a long look at yourself also to see where it went wrong. They may be 100% at fault, 50%, or less. You may also find out that you two were never meant to be together.

You're not really agreeing with eits. You are saying the love was already gone before the cheating.

 

[mchammer]

Originally posted by: Garet Jax

Originally posted by: Cookie
I don't have one. There are absolutely no circumstances in which I would cheat on my SO. Period. (Unless maybe I was raped, but I assume that would not count)

I don't believe you. That's like saying you have no price.

Some people are Hardcore.

 

[Cookie]

Originally posted by: Garet Jax

Originally posted by: Cookie
I don't have one. There are absolutely no circumstances in which I would cheat on my SO. Period. (Unless maybe I was raped, but I assume that would not count)

I don't believe you. That's like saying you have no price.

I have no price

 

[Molondo]

Originally posted by: Garet Jax

Originally posted by: Cookie
I don't have one. There are absolutely no circumstances in which I would cheat on my SO. Period. (Unless maybe I was raped, but I assume that would not count)

I don't believe you. That's like saying you have no price.

How much is Garet Jax, im feeling lonely.

 

[Garet Jax]

Originally posted by: FilmCamera

Then it's not love. A mixture of all sorts of other feelings perhaps, but not love.

You realize that it's not possible to have true love during the entire lifetime of marriage to the same person?

There are too many variables and too many emotions, plus true love generally exists when getting to know someone and only seeing them at their best.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: Garet Jax

Originally posted by: eits
just because she cheated on you doesn't mean she doesn't love you... it just means that she made a dumb and regretful choice. if she KEPT cheating on you, that'd mean that she didn't really love you that much.

That's generally true for men and generally not true for women. Women generally only cheat with someone for whom they have feelings.

that's sort of funny.

Women are not so fragile and pure.

Women normally enter RELATIONSHIPS based on feelings....however; outside of that they like to PLAY. Girls or the prude don't necessarily, not the type of chick I look for. Regardless you can't really put a label on any woman.

I have had sex with women outside my main relationship/even marriage...it wasn't technically cheating since we talked about it first. Sometimes we got back together, sometimes not.

 

[Cookie]

Originally posted by: Garet Jax

Originally posted by: FilmCamera

Then it's not love. A mixture of all sorts of other feelings perhaps, but not love.

You realize that it's not possible to have true love during the entire lifetime of marriage to the same person?

There are too many variables and too many emotions, plus true love generally exists when getting to know someone and only seeing them at their best.

Actually, I think that part is called lust. True love is when you still love someone after 50 years.

 

[Kadarin]

I have seen it too many times. The woman who says "Oh, I would NEVER cheat on someone I'm with and whom I love!" .. But, given a rocky period in the relationship and some chemistry with a coworker or something, and blammo, she's cheating. It happens all the goddamned time.

Sorry, Cookie, you DO live in a fairyland.

 

[Garet Jax]

Originally posted by: Dean
I agree with eits. It is not always black and white. I was cheated on by my ex girlfriend, and I ended that relationship. I hated her for what she did to me. After having a couple years to mature and reflect, I realized I was at least 50% at fault. I was never there for her emotionally and basically treated her like a live in piece of tail.

When a significant other cheats on you, it is easy to lay the blame game on them. Before you do, try to take a long look at yourself also to see where it went wrong. They may be 100% at fault, 50%, or less. You may also find out that you two were never meant to be together.

100% agree.

A good friend of mine cheated on his wife. My wife and I used to hang out a lot with them before we had kids. I told my wife numerous times that my friend's wife had better smarten up. She treated him like dirt much of the time we hung out.

She has since come to realize this and has started to change things. They are still together trying to work it out.

 

[Garet Jax]

Originally posted by: Cookie

Originally posted by: Garet Jax

Originally posted by: FilmCamera

Then it's not love. A mixture of all sorts of other feelings perhaps, but not love.

You realize that it's not possible to have true love during the entire lifetime of marriage to the same person?

There are too many variables and too many emotions, plus true love generally exists when getting to know someone and only seeing them at their best.

Actually, I think that part is called lust. True love is when you still love someone after 50 years.

Have you ever talked to someone who has been married for 50 years?

I have and to a person they have told me that marriage is the most difficult thing they have ever undertaken. They have also said that love is definitely an undercurrent throughout their marriage, but each person has changed so many times and other had to learn to love the new person.

 

[Cookie]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
I have seen it too many times. The woman who says "Oh, I would NEVER cheat on someone I'm with and whom I love!" .. But, given a rocky period in the relationship and some chemistry with a coworker or something, and blammo, she's cheating. It happens all the goddamned time.

Sorry, Cookie, you DO live in a fairyland.

I do not dispute that it happens. I think it happens all the time. But I know that it does not happen to everyone and I guarantee you that I never will. You can check up on me in 50 years and find out.
Also, I've been through plenty of rocky relationships and also rocky periods of good relationships. And I haven't cheated yet.

 

[Cookie]

Originally posted by: Garet Jax

Originally posted by: Cookie

Originally posted by: Garet Jax

Originally posted by: FilmCamera

Then it's not love. A mixture of all sorts of other feelings perhaps, but not love.

You realize that it's not possible to have true love during the entire lifetime of marriage to the same person?

There are too many variables and too many emotions, plus true love generally exists when getting to know someone and only seeing them at their best.

Actually, I think that part is called lust. True love is when you still love someone after 50 years.

Have you ever talked to someone who has been married for 50 years?

I have and to a person they have told me that marriage is the most difficult thing they have ever undertaken. They have also said that love is definitely an undercurrent throughout their marriage, but each person has changed so many times and other had to learn to love the new person.

Yes, of course.

 

[Garet Jax]

Originally posted by: Cookie

Originally posted by: Garet Jax

Originally posted by: Cookie
I don't have one. There are absolutely no circumstances in which I would cheat on my SO. Period. (Unless maybe I was raped, but I assume that would not count)

I don't believe you. That's like saying you have no price.

I have no price

While I'm sure some people exist with no price (and without the ability to cheat), I find it more likely that you just haven't encountered your particular weakness.

I have identified mine and I do all that I can to avoid putting myself in those situations.

 

[Garet Jax]

Originally posted by: alkemyst
Regardless you can't really put a label on any woman.

I agree with you - that is why I said generally 3 times.

 

[Cookie]

Originally posted by: Garet Jax

Originally posted by: Cookie

Originally posted by: Garet Jax

Originally posted by: Cookie
I don't have one. There are absolutely no circumstances in which I would cheat on my SO. Period. (Unless maybe I was raped, but I assume that would not count)

I don't believe you. That's like saying you have no price.

I have no price

While I'm sure some people exist with no price (and without the ability to cheat), I find it more likely that you just haven't encountered your particular weakness.

I have identified mine and I do all that I can to avoid putting myself in those situations.

Perhaps. But what are the weakness possibilities? Money - no, Fame - never, Drunken idiocy - no. Out of all the think of, I can't imagine even considering it. If it came down to bad treatment, I would rather end a relationship before cheating.

 

[Marinski]

Cheaters don't love. If they did they wouldn't need to cheat. By trying to get you to feel like its your fault shes trying to validate her actions and make herself look less like a whore for doing it. The only thing you can blame yourself for is having a relationship with a cum bucket.

 

[her209]

Originally posted by: eits
either way, i still say it's possible for someone to love their significant other even though they cheated... it's possible to love someone and not be happy with the status of your relationship and, therefore, more easily led astray or seduced... and then, after it happens, it's possible to feel like shyt for what you've done and for betraying your significant other's trust and love because you still love them...

That's the most horrible excuse for excusing cheating. If you aren't happy with the status of your relationship, either talk to you significant other or get the f*ck out of the relationship. Cheating is for the weak minded. Period.

 

[Cdubneeddeal]

Originally posted by: Marinski
Cheaters don't love. If they did they wouldn't need to cheat. By trying to get you to feel like its your fault shes trying to validate her actions and make herself look less like a whore for doing it. The only thing you can blame yourself for is having a relationship with a cum bucket.

Disagree. Disagree. Possibly.

Maybe she felt she wasn't good enough for the OP. Maybe her self-esteem is/was low. Maybe the OP was too smothering and it turned her away. Can the OP chime in please?

 

[her209]

Originally posted by: Cdubneeddeal
Maybe she felt she wasn't good enough for the OP. Maybe her self-esteem is/was low. Maybe the OP was too smothering and it turned her away. Can the OP chime in please?

If she felt that way, its on her to fix/end the relationship.

 

[Dean]

Originally posted by: Marinski
Cheaters don't love. If they did they wouldn't need to cheat. By trying to get you to feel like its your fault shes trying to validate her actions and make herself look less like a whore for doing it. The only thing you can blame yourself for is having a relationship with a cum bucket.

Wrong. Most people that cheat do so because they do not feel loved. They have a low self esteem and fall into the trap.

It is not true in all cases, but the big majority do fall under that scope.

 

[postmortemIA]

People who try to justify cheaters need to be banned.

 

[irishScott]

Originally posted by: IMaN00BieGF
Geez, this must be break-up season.

It's also the Christmas Season. Good time to be single 🙂

OP: Need more info. If she was drunk when she did it, then I'd giver her some leeway. If not, and there was an understanding that there was to be no seeing anyone else, ditch her, have a :beer: and look for someone better. B1tches have got to learn you can't screw 2 guys and get away with it.