YAGT-is this the end?

[yllus]

Originally posted by: BD2003

Originally posted by: dirtboy
The solution is simple, because if she wants to give things a shot with Bob she will break up with you even though she loves you.

So here's what you do...

Tell her that you understand she's not sure about Bob and that is causing problems between the two of you. Tell her you are okay with her seeing Bob, so long as she doesn't get intimate with him. That way she has the opportunity to go out with him and see if there is actually something there.

Then tell her if after a couple weeks she'd rather be with Bob, that you will let her go, even though it will hurt you. If you are better than Bob, she'll return to you.

Of course I don't know how old either of you are, but it is natural for young people to want to experience many other people just to know for sure what they have is what they want.

He might as well turn in his man card and dick if he goes that route. He isnt a toy to be played with.

Yeah. That's the worst advice ever. "Here's my girlfriend, you two have fun and see how much sexual tension you can build up between each other while I sit home on evenings by my lonesome."

 

[Scarpozzi]

What about Bob?

 

[PricklyPete]

You're not going to want to hear this...and every emotion in your body is going to try to keep you from doing this...but let it go.

No offense to your girlfriend...but it does not sound like she has a ton of experience in long term relationships. There are always going to be others who you will meet who will peak your interest in some way that your partner never has. This will lead to some level of attraction, but often times you realize that the one thing that peaked your interest is nothing in comparison to what you have with your partner. Admittedly, sometimes you will meet a person who will make you realize that you are not happy with your current relationship...but it should be more obvious than she is letting on.

Regardless...break it off...let her move on to this other guy. Who knows...maybe sometime down the line you guys will meet back up and things will work out...it is just doubtful.

The key is to move on with your life. Meet other people, hang out with your friends, etc. She may end up getting in touch with you weeks, months, etc in advance wanting to get back together. If she does, you need to have a serious talk, make sure she understands you expect more loyalty, determine if you have moved on or if there is still feelings, and go from there.

This will either end your relationship and allow you to move on to bigger and better things or it will strengthen your relationship like few other things can (unfortunately...learning the hard way is sadly often the most impactful).

 

[flxnimprtmscl]

Originally posted by: BD2003

Originally posted by: dirtboy
The solution is simple, because if she wants to give things a shot with Bob she will break up with you even though she loves you.

So here's what you do...

*snip*

He might as well turn in his man card and dick if he goes that route. He isnt a toy to be played with.

+1

 

[BD2003]

Originally posted by: yllus

Originally posted by: BD2003

Originally posted by: dirtboy
The solution is simple, because if she wants to give things a shot with Bob she will break up with you even though she loves you.

So here's what you do...

Tell her that you understand she's not sure about Bob and that is causing problems between the two of you. Tell her you are okay with her seeing Bob, so long as she doesn't get intimate with him. That way she has the opportunity to go out with him and see if there is actually something there.

Then tell her if after a couple weeks she'd rather be with Bob, that you will let her go, even though it will hurt you. If you are better than Bob, she'll return to you.

Of course I don't know how old either of you are, but it is natural for young people to want to experience many other people just to know for sure what they have is what they want.

He might as well turn in his man card and dick if he goes that route. He isnt a toy to be played with.

Yeah. That's the worst advice ever. "Here's my girlfriend, you two have fun and see how much sexual tension you can build up between each other while I sit home on evenings by my lonesome."

Seriously. Theres a lot of virtue in being sensitive, but not to the point where you forsake yourself completely just to make your girlfriend happy. In that case, you always lose and she always wins. Relationships arent supposed to be war, but you do have to stand your ground.

Stand your ground. Dont let her walk all over you cause shes confused. That is just plain disrespect, and your girlfriend should be the LAST person to disrespect you, no matter how on the rocks it may be.

 

[Kadarin]

Oh man, this sucks... If I were in your situation, I would not tolerate being with a girl who was waffling between me and some other guy. Trust me, that's an emotional rollercoaster you do NOT want to be on. In your situation, I'd present her with the choice of continuing to build on the relationship between you two, or dissolving the relationship entirely so that she can explore her crush with this other guy. Whichever way you go, stick with it. If she chooses you, "Bob" has to be GONE, period. No contact between the two of them. If she chooses him, you move on, period.

 

[Scarpozzi]

You need to tell her that you don't like her talking to Bob. It bothers you the way she's treating the situation and you don't like it. Ask her if she's serious about being with you and see if she is.

I recommend getting her flowers and taking her on a nice date sometime soon. Try to be pretty nice and make her feel like sh!t if she is doing stuff she shouldn't be. Don't worry about it though... There are TONS of hot chicks on this planet. I'm sure she is replacable if it comes to that....I just hope things work out for you.

 

[y2kc]

question: is this the end?
answer: are you f'ing blind man!???!!


of course it's over and it's going to hurt so bad especially since she's dumping you for another dude. you'll get over it, trust me.

 

[Pepsei]

I hate bob, so you should dump her.

 

[nick1985]

hate to say it man, but i think you should break up with her, or at least seperate until she gets her head on straight. i think she will break up with you though, if she outright denied liking bob, maybe not. but she said "i dont know", which basically means yes. i think your days are numbered so you might as well get it over with.

 

[DaiShan]

Hey bro, sorry to hear about that, but you're being a man about it at least, if you just let her have you AND Bob you would be a grade A tool. If she can't choose thats bad news for the two of you anyways, move on, bum around the house for a few days feel like crap then go out and mack it to some chicks, few weeks you'll literally forget all about her.

 

[DaiShan]

Originally posted by: yllus

I ask her if she has romantic feelings for Bob, and she starts crying and says "I don't know, I'm so sorry. I just don't know."

She knows, and we all know it. She just wants to spare your feelings.

Sounds like a nice, thoughtful girl though. She was as upfront with what was going on as could be expected under the circumstances. You're most definitely headed for a breakup, but I hope she somehow comes back to you in the end. Good luck.

Agreed, at least she isn't heartless.

 

[BD2003]

Originally posted by: DaiShan

Originally posted by: yllus

I ask her if she has romantic feelings for Bob, and she starts crying and says "I don't know, I'm so sorry. I just don't know."

She knows, and we all know it. She just wants to spare your feelings.

Sounds like a nice, thoughtful girl though. She was as upfront with what was going on as could be expected under the circumstances. You're most definitely headed for a breakup, but I hope she somehow comes back to you in the end. Good luck.

Agreed, at least she isn't heartless.

Yeah, she does sound like a nice girl. Just confused, as plenty of girls are at that age.

But I am going to go out on a rather short limb, and say that even if bob wasnt in the picture, this relationship is still headed for disaster, as all young ones tend to be.

It sounds like a relationship that is modeled entirely on the mtv, storybook romance. Im sure your first thought is to deny it, and while you dont understand why now, you will probably understand later. I hope.

With those kind of expectations, its no wonder the two of you are confused. I could go on and on, but Ill just leave it at that. On the brighter side of things, you cant know what you do want until you figure out what you dont want. Try and learn something from this at the very least.

Be a man. Dont be a dick, dont be a heartless bastard....just be a man. I dont know any other way to explain it.

Good luck. :beer:

 

[johnjohn320]

For an update-Things got better for awhile, but I guess it was just sort of non-recoverable. We broke up last night. We're still on really great terms, neither of us wanted this relationship to end, but we both knew it had to. Lots of tears, lots of reminiscing (sort of odd conversation for the night we broke up, but somehow it made us feel better).

I know I have the support of family and friends...but nonetheless I feel so alone right now. She's been such a huge part of my life for so long...waking up this morning knowing that things were different was so painful.

Thanks for listening, and for the input. I'm gonna go to IHOP, lol.

 

[Rufio]

mental note -- dirtboy gives the worst advice EVAR!!

to johnjohn320 -- at least get some break up sex.
mUAHAHAHHAHHAAHA

 

[Atomicus]

Originally posted by: Rufio
to johnjohn320 -- at least get some break up sex.
mUAHAHAHHAHHAAHA

:thumbsup:

She's no good. If her affection sways this easily, she'll definitely not be a good choice for a longer term relationship.

My crystal ball says she'll go to Bob, get used, then come back crying. And then the right thing to do is NOT GET BACK WITH HER. Don't get sucked into the "I was sent back for a refund now try me out the refurbed-girl that was yours". But just tell her you'd rather be friends since that whole situation.

 

[Garet Jax]

Originally posted by: mugs
It's clearly over.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: cr4zymofo
Cliff notes... and we won't ask again, ever, this is your last warning.

 

[CraigRT]

Originally posted by: johnjohn320
For an update-Things got better for awhile, but I guess it was just sort of non-recoverable. We broke up last night. We're still on really great terms, neither of us wanted this relationship to end, but we both knew it had to. Lots of tears, lots of reminiscing (sort of odd conversation for the night we broke up, but somehow it made us feel better).

I know I have the support of family and friends...but nonetheless I feel so alone right now. She's been such a huge part of my life for so long...waking up this morning knowing that things were different was so painful.

Thanks for listening, and for the input. I'm gonna go to IHOP, lol.

That definitely would suck.
best wishes.

 

[JimRaynor]

What about Bob?

 

[bobbybe01]

:beer: have one on me, buddy. Remember life is still worth living...the most important thing is not to sit at home and think about it. Go out with friends and have a good time.

 

[sygyzy]

Break up. That's the only answer.

 

[maziwanka]

Originally posted by: johnjohn320
For an update-Things got better for awhile, but I guess it was just sort of non-recoverable. We broke up last night. We're still on really great terms, neither of us wanted this relationship to end, but we both knew it had to. Lots of tears, lots of reminiscing (sort of odd conversation for the night we broke up, but somehow it made us feel better).

I know I have the support of family and friends...but nonetheless I feel so alone right now. She's been such a huge part of my life for so long...waking up this morning knowing that things were different was so painful.

Thanks for listening, and for the input. I'm gonna go to IHOP, lol.

im glad you made the right decision in the end. it will definately hurt for a while but its nice to see that you're on good terms with your ex. a lot of ppl would have handled the situation differently - i.e. broken all ties with the gf, etc., but you displayed your maturity. in time things will def get better.

now go and enjoy IHOP. hahaha

 

[ragazzo]

Originally posted by: JimRaynor
What about Bob?

you didn't just say that...

 

[Nitemare]

Originally posted by: johnjohn320

Originally posted by: isekii
Did Bob hit it ?

If you're asking if she's been cheating on me, I really strongly 100% believe the answer is no. It's hard to explain why, but I just know.

I disagree.

Did you ask her point blank what they did?