YAGT: is she just being nice?

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bleeb

Lifer
Feb 3, 2000
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Originally posted by: gopunk
tell her you prefer to talk to people in person and ask her to do something... i dunno, maybe she just wants to use you for your body

yeah like in American Pie.. use you for your body....
 

Thegonagle

Diamond Member
Jun 8, 2000
9,773
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Originally posted by: dquan97
Have confidence!!!!!!

Yeah, really!

It sounds like you're doing fine so far. I mean, she's talking about pornos with you? Dude, you're in, (that's really rather intimate stuff) as long as you take advantage of the window of opportunity that she's currently offering you. She's not going to turn down a date with you at this point, if you ask.
 

WinkOsmosis

Banned
Sep 18, 2002
13,990
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She talked to you for 3 hours even though you are boring. Obviously she likes you. Chicks talk to me for 3 hours because I'm interesting, even though they hate me, then when they get tired of me they ignore me and make me feel like sh!t.
 

dakata24

Diamond Member
Aug 7, 2000
6,366
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thanks guys. ill keep you updated.

it's been awhile since ive dated (alittle over 2 1/2 yrs) and havent really made an effort looking either so im very rusty at this sort of stuff.

im pretty surprised this thread is still abit active.. haha. i guess all you need is to tack on YAGT and it gets a decent # of replies.. :)
 

CrazyDe1

Diamond Member
Dec 18, 2001
3,089
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Everyone has this notion of the friend zone. The funny thing is it's not bad to become friends with a girl because if you're halfway decent looking and cool eventually she's going to become attached. In my opinion, looks gets you almost everywhere and makes the diff between a girl wanting to be just friends or friends leading to something else. Whereas it sometimes leads to thigns in my case, I have a friend who's the hottest guy ever according to many girls and he's friends with tons of girls and sees them as just friends whereas they all eventually become attached to and want him. The friend zone is only a bad thing if you're very very unattractive. Hell, now that I think about it all my relationships have come out of being friends first because I know them and they're the type of girls I'd like. I don't have the balls to ask a total stranger out:)
 

filmmaker

Golden Member
Oct 20, 2002
1,919
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Originally posted by: dakata24
okay, here's the story. this girl is a friend of a friend. hung out with her a few times. somehow, she gets ahold of my cell # but doesnt call. today, my friend has people over and this girl is over. i didnt go since i was busy. well, somewhere int he convo my name gets mentioned as to why she hasnt called me.

so she ends up calling me. we talk for 3 hrs. but i have to say im up there as being one of the most un-interesting people to talk with. i have a hard time making conversation.. always thinking about what im going to say beforehand.. shy.. etc. all that good stufff. i think i bored her to death imho.. but she did most of the talking anyways.

anyways. end of the conversation, she asks i want to talk to her again tomorrow night after i get off work. alittle befuddled (is that a word), i get really uncomfortable. more so than before. im thinking, why the hell would she want to talk with me somemore after these 3 agonizing hours.. im quite surprised she stayed on the phone this long..

so my question is, was she just being nice or what could be the reason she would ask me if she wanted to chat after work with boring old me??

help!

Ask her to meet you somewhere in person and that will determine if she was being friendly or not.
 

weezergirl

Diamond Member
May 24, 2000
3,366
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You really need a healthy dose of self esteem!..if you keep this up she'll get tired of you. girls like guys with confidence! just go with the flow and stop questioning things.
 

dakata24

Diamond Member
Aug 7, 2000
6,366
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Originally posted by: weezergirl
You really need a healthy dose of self esteem!..if you keep this up she'll get tired of you. girls like guys with confidence! just go with the flow and stop questioning things.

i know... :eek:
 

ddwbi0

Senior member
Jun 22, 2002
530
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this is coming from a girl.. maybe she just likes talking to someone on the phone at night. i do that sometimes. dont worry about it. besides, you shouldnt HAVE to think about what to talk about, it should just come naturally. :D
 

parkbench

Senior member
Feb 14, 2002
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make sure u hang out with her this weekend, if not tomorrow. if she likes to talk, let her talk. throw in a few humorous lines here n there and make her smile. if you like her smile, tell her that but don't go overboard with compliments, taking it slow is much better, so play it cool for a bit.

also.. if you think you're uninteresting go out somewhere where you're comfortable in yoru own element. an arcade (maybe with girl games like air hockey), a bowling alley, a cafe/diner, minigolf, batting cage, whatever makes you feel most comfortable. if you don't think you can last long in convo or be interesting make it a short/good time so you can duck out and still come off as being 'the interesting/fun one', but make sure you have an extra backup plan if things are going well.... clean the room up, take her to your house and watch a flick w/ her.

personally i like to suggest alcohol... not specifically to get her drunk but to feel her out. girls pretty much know what alcohol means so if she's into it, your chances are better. if she's not into it, she may want to take it slow or not at all. it may help you loosen up a bit too. as long as you're not a spaz, it's okay to be a little goofy/dorky, you may be the breath of fresh air she's looking for in a sea full of sharks.

remember though, if you're into this girl make a move as soon as you feel a good connection. don't think, just act, or she may think you're not into her, or just a dork, both are bad.

it's all about balance with women, if you rush too quick without giving her a chance to be comfortable then you risk scaring her off and if you wait too long she may get turned off.

1 thing i've learned however. if you DO end up somehow in the friend zone, keep her as a friend and use it as a launching pad to meet her other friends. hanging around a girl in hopes that she'll eventually really want you is usually pointless.. the only time friend zone works is when it's her in the friend zone... i.e. - when you're the fun one who doesnt give a hoot about a girl, then shell want u more.

i'm rambling now, so pick out the important parts and good luck!!

edit: i forgot the 2 most important things, 1) don't mumble, she obviously wants to hear what you have to say, and 2) dates and conversations are supposed to be fun, so have fun!