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YAGT: I got dumped bad guys
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lithium726
Senior member
same thing happened to my best friend... he went off to college, i and his GF, which i was good friends with, were still in high school. they broke up, he got upset, and he tried to save that sh!t for over a year.. spent lots of money, time, and effort on that chick while i was telling him that it wasnt fvcking worth it and she was treating him like sh!t.
cut off ties now, and go on without her... find someone new and find some new friends.
cut off ties now, and go on without her... find someone new and find some new friends.
archcommus
Diamond Member
Well I think we're done. I finally asked her about some of her past emails and she basically said she said what she did just to make me feel better and because she didn't know what else to do. So yes, she had been wanting this since Thanksgiving, but had been telling me she loved me and couldn't wait for Christmas with me and all that ever since then. Making it seem like she loved me just as strongly as ever and things were great. I made it very clear to her I could not forgive her for this for a long time. That was pretty much the end of my questions, so now we're done talking. Maybe one day when I'm over her, we could message online and be friends again.
Now I need to recover. I need...new...girls. Hot ones. And a new sound system.
Now I need to recover. I need...new...girls. Hot ones. And a new sound system.
archcommus
Diamond Member
No it wasn't like how some people get dumped. She offered all her help and was kind. But pretending to love me for months was so cruel and I'm just not good at this stuff, what can I say, I'm weak.
archcommus
Diamond Member
So what are the 5 stages again? I wonder if I'm following through them or not.
First I went through denial, thinking it couldn't be.
Then anger and being pissed off.
Now just quiet depression and sort of being like a zombie. I just watched Charmed. 😛
First I went through denial, thinking it couldn't be.
Then anger and being pissed off.
Now just quiet depression and sort of being like a zombie. I just watched Charmed. 😛
Not to down play your feelings/relationship.
But you had the easiest break up ever, when i think of getting "dumped bad," i think of a good friend of mine who got a call from his fiance and all she said is that i am gonna fvck this guy i just met at this party and turned off her phone.
As far as advice. You are far too young to bother with the long distance relationship. You both have plenty of growing up to do and don't need to be tied down. Just my bitter $.02.
But you had the easiest break up ever, when i think of getting "dumped bad," i think of a good friend of mine who got a call from his fiance and all she said is that i am gonna fvck this guy i just met at this party and turned off her phone.
As far as advice. You are far too young to bother with the long distance relationship. You both have plenty of growing up to do and don't need to be tied down. Just my bitter $.02.
archcommus
Diamond Member
Wow, that is very harsh. 🙁
The Batt?sai
Diamond Member
yeah i probably wouldn't try and get with alot of girls either. not my thing.
bob4432
Lifer
i didn't read all the post, but it sounds like she ended it pretty nicely. don't let it get you down, you are a college man now, plenty of time to have a good time and not be tied down. at first it will feel weird because you were with you x for 2.5 yrs, but give it a month or two and you will be good.
sh!t, the way one of my x's and i broke up were that she was going out with her friends one night and would be home a x:xxPM, so i went over after she should have been home to hang out. her brother let me in and i waiting when my best friend at the time drops her off, needless to say i got rid of both of them at that exact moment, and we were dating for ~4+yrs. while i was waiting at her house, there was this hot chic that was on something and was into me, now i wish i would have taken advantage of that because she was smokin hot (but i wasn't that type guy).
sh!t, the way one of my x's and i broke up were that she was going out with her friends one night and would be home a x:xxPM, so i went over after she should have been home to hang out. her brother let me in and i waiting when my best friend at the time drops her off, needless to say i got rid of both of them at that exact moment, and we were dating for ~4+yrs. while i was waiting at her house, there was this hot chic that was on something and was into me, now i wish i would have taken advantage of that because she was smokin hot (but i wasn't that type guy).
archcommus
Diamond Member
If she would have done it in person and if I would have been able to see her sorrow, her tears and sadness, it would've made a big difference with making me feel like yes, she wants to do this, but it hurts her, too. Instead, she did it purely over the phone and IM, and thus had the ability to act all tough and hide her feelings. Made me feel like she didn't give a sh!t when I know in fact she does.
At first the biggest problem was simply comprehending that this is true. The reason that was hard is because she acted like things were great up until a week ago, as opposed to letting me know her feelings were slipping months ago. However she expained to me that any email she sent in the past month or so where she acted real nice, was probably just to make me feel better at school. However, there are other times she was overly nice and acting like she really missed me and wanted me, during times when I wasn't even upset or having problems and she just emailed out of the blue expressing these feelings! DURING the time period that she says now she wanted to break up with me! It just doesn't make any sense and it gives me the impression she's not being truthful now and maybe her feelings aren't that far below the surface, however I know that's not true and it really has no chance of coming back.
At first the biggest problem was simply comprehending that this is true. The reason that was hard is because she acted like things were great up until a week ago, as opposed to letting me know her feelings were slipping months ago. However she expained to me that any email she sent in the past month or so where she acted real nice, was probably just to make me feel better at school. However, there are other times she was overly nice and acting like she really missed me and wanted me, during times when I wasn't even upset or having problems and she just emailed out of the blue expressing these feelings! DURING the time period that she says now she wanted to break up with me! It just doesn't make any sense and it gives me the impression she's not being truthful now and maybe her feelings aren't that far below the surface, however I know that's not true and it really has no chance of coming back.
archcommus
Diamond Member
Probably, but no, GCC.
bob4432
Lifer
even so, it still seems like a ok breakup. at least she didn't take you out and have a big family dinner and ditch you then.
you will be fine and personally i would thank the girl for the way she did it.
a word of advice, if this is bothering you this much, you may want to get ready for a wild ride because most chics aren't this nice when it comes to breaking up...
archcommus
Diamond Member
Yeah I know...
Although I'm pissed that she deceived me and lied and couldn't even do it in person, this whole past week she's been helpful (albeit frustrated at times) and has answered my questions to help settle things. Most girls aren't so nice, thanks for reminding me.....makes me wish even more I wouldn't have lost her.
Although I'm pissed that she deceived me and lied and couldn't even do it in person, this whole past week she's been helpful (albeit frustrated at times) and has answered my questions to help settle things. Most girls aren't so nice, thanks for reminding me.....makes me wish even more I wouldn't have lost her.
bob4432
Lifer
dont worry about it, life goes on and their are more fish in the sea. people grow apart, and you two did in a pretty natural way, because you were far apart.
i have a couple of friends that are military couples, and honestly i think the wife likes it more when the husband is away, you don't want that type of a relationship.
be glad things were so civil and it wasn't like you came home for break and found her in bed with some other guy. she seems to be extremely level headed and i understand your hurt, but just be glad it went this way.
like i said, in a month or two you will be completely over it, hell you are a college man now and while i am not saying to try to get with the entire student body, just sit back and enjoy the scenery 🙂
archcommus
Diamond Member
She was very level-headed and this was just what she knew was right. I, too, realize that it wouldn't have lasted all through college and that the relationship was actually bad for me in a few ways. Breaking up will actually hopefully straighten up some other areas of my life. So I'm not denying this is right. Just still processing the emotions of thinking about how it happened and convincing myself it wasn't my fault. It will take awhile to wear out those thoughts.
bob4432
Lifer
it will take time, but just remember and as you said, it was probably time to move on anyway. just don't try to rush the emotinal healing process, but also if you need to see someone if you feel you are getting overly depressed do it, but judging by how you are talking in here, i don't think that will be an issue.
good luck in the future 🙂
archcommus
Diamond Member
Maybe I should post over at YAGT about getting over certain feelings. But then I'd feel like more of an internet loser.
archcommus
Diamond Member
I agree completely.
But now I am at home. All I can outside of work and computer is stuff with friends.
And when I get back to college, I am at a dry Christian school in an engineering curriculum. I meant WHAT THE HELL. How am I going to meet girls.
archcommus
Diamond Member
She just emailed me this:
"I've just been wondering what you've been thinking. I don't know. I've been at home bored all day, and I thought about you. I know I shouldn't talk to you because it will just make it harder, but I don't know. You don't have to reply to this if you don't want to."
How should I respond to that. I'm not sure what it indicates.
"I've just been wondering what you've been thinking. I don't know. I've been at home bored all day, and I thought about you. I know I shouldn't talk to you because it will just make it harder, but I don't know. You don't have to reply to this if you don't want to."
How should I respond to that. I'm not sure what it indicates.
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