YAGT : How long to wait to call

[Drakkon]

The question : What rules do you follow when saying you will "call" someone after a fairly decent date the night prior? Follow the swingers rules and wait 3 days? email instead?

The cause:
Call online buddy early in evening just to chat, tells me she is going on a date.
Get call later that night, says date went horrible, cheer her up.
I end up taking girl out for a milkshake around midnight at dennys (first time we ever met face to face). Lots of flirting and sexual inuendo.
Night ends with a hug and her saying "hope to talk to you again soon"

Now I'm the sorta dumbass that will call the next day and ruin everything somehow, and this girl perscribes to some set of "rules" which i dont know exactly what they are, but are somehow well known? help me out here...

:camera: for your viewing pleasure

 

[Hyperblaze]

How do you know she perscribes to some set of "rules"

 

[radioouman]

2 days, phone only.

 

[radioouman]

2 days, phone only.

 

[necine]

In a situation like that I would wait 2 days... The thing is you dont want to wait to long because she'll think you have no confidence and forget about you. If you call to soon you seem like a stalker. Just find a nice median based upon the given situation.

 

[tweakmm]

At least 2 days for phone and for e-mail: not until you have a steady relationship and you are reminding her to bring milk home.

 

[radioouman]

2 days, phone only.

 

[radioouman]

2 days, phone only.

 

[KoolDrew]

Originally posted by: radioouman
2 days, phone only.

 

[necine]

Originally posted by: radioouman
2 days, phone only.

way to post 3 times in a row... altho i agree.

 

[DaShen]

3 days, phone only (2 days only sometimes, 3 days gives you buffere room to not look desperate). Email, you can't be serious?

 

[BigToque]

I'd say wait 2 minutes, then phone back

She'll say "WTF?"

You say "Just playing with ya, I'll give you a call tomorrow".

The point here is, be specific. If she says "give me a call soon", you respond with a day. You don't just say "ok, sure".

If you want to see her the next day, you tell her that.

Be assertive.

 

[tweakmm]

Originally posted by: radioouman
2 days, phone only.

How many days and through what communications medium?

 

[ggnl]

It sounds like it was pretty casual. I would wait at least 2-3 days before calling.

 

[Reckoner]

3 day rule

 

[BigToque]

You guys and your fscking "rules"...

There are no rules. You guys think too much. It's no wonder so many people have so many problems. If a girl likes you, she doesn't care when you call, just that you do.

 

[mcvickj]

Originally posted by: radioouman
2 days, phone only.

NEF much?

 

[DannyLove]

this is a no brainer. 6 days

 

[sunzt]

3 days email or phone.

 

[Cerpin Taxt]

Personally, I think the idea of abiding by these rigid rules of interaction totally misses the point of achieving a successful interpersonal relationship. The rules do not allow you to BE YOURSELF, but instead set up an artificial standard so that you can in effect "protect yourself from yourself." Implicitly this must mean that you lack confidence, and are to some extent afraid of yourself. Usually, this is not an attribute that women find attractive.

There's no necessary reason why calling the next day would "ruin everything." The question you should be asking yourself is: "why do I want to call her?" If you have a good reason to call her the next day, DO IT! There aren't any cookie-cutter answers to relationship questions, so make up your own mind about what is reasonable. Nobody else knows the nature of your relationship with her thus far better than you and she do.

-Garth

 

[bigrash]

whatever you do, don't email

 

[BigToque]

Originally posted by: Garth
Personally, I think the idea of abiding by these rigid rules of interaction totally misses the point of achieving a successful interpersonal relationship. The rules do not allow you to BE YOURSELF, but instead set up an artificial standard so that you can in effect "protect yourself from yourself." Implicitly this must mean that you lack confidence, and are to some extent afraid of yourself. Usually, this is not an attribute that women find attractive.

There's no necessary reason why calling the next day would "ruin everything." The question you should be asking yourself is: "why do I want to call her?" If you have a good reason to call her the next day, DO IT! There aren't any cookie-cutter answers to relationship questions, so make up your own mind about what is reasonable. Nobody else knows the nature of your relationship with her thus far better than you and she do.

-Garth

Thank you! At least a few people get it

 

[Accipiter22]

Originally posted by: radioouman
2 days, phone only.

WHOAH first ever.... Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-QUADRUPLE POST

 

[Accipiter22]

Originally posted by: Garth
Personally, I think the idea of abiding by these rigid rules of interaction totally misses the point of achieving a successful interpersonal relationship. The rules do not allow you to BE YOURSELF, but instead set up an artificial standard so that you can in effect "protect yourself from yourself." Implicitly this must mean that you lack confidence, and are to some extent afraid of yourself. Usually, this is not an attribute that women find attractive.

There's no necessary reason why calling the next day would "ruin everything." The question you should be asking yourself is: "why do I want to call her?" If you have a good reason to call her the next day, DO IT! There aren't any cookie-cutter answers to relationship questions, so make up your own mind about what is reasonable. Nobody else knows the nature of your relationship with her thus far better than you and she do.

-Garth

There may not be cookie cutter answers, but there are general rules of thumb that do apply 90% of the time. I ALWAYS am dying to call the next day, I 'feel' like it's ok. Guess what? 99.999999999% of the time that I have done this, it's spooked the girl. You can fool yourself into thinking that any reason is a good reason to call. Lacking confidence isn't shown by adhering to a set of rules, it's showing that you have the discipline to wait before you contact this person again.

 

[habib89]

Originally posted by: Garth
Personally, I think the idea of abiding by these rigid rules of interaction totally misses the point of achieving a successful interpersonal relationship. The rules do not allow you to BE YOURSELF, but instead set up an artificial standard so that you can in effect "protect yourself from yourself." Implicitly this must mean that you lack confidence, and are to some extent afraid of yourself. Usually, this is not an attribute that women find attractive.

There's no necessary reason why calling the next day would "ruin everything." The question you should be asking yourself is: "why do I want to call her?" If you have a good reason to call her the next day, DO IT! There aren't any cookie-cutter answers to relationship questions, so make up your own mind about what is reasonable. Nobody else knows the nature of your relationship with her thus far better than you and she do.

-Garth

word freakin up...

there are no rules.. if you like her, call her back and ask her out again.. that'll let you know you like her, and if she likes you back, she'll accept.. if not, then it wasnt meant to be..

i think it also depends on the time of the week.. say you went out with her on monday.. well then you can call back in a couple days to see if she wants to go out on friday.. but if you go out with her on thursday, you better call her the next day for a saturday or even friday night rendezvous...