YAGT: Heartbroken

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: raildogg
Mosh, it is the way things are over there. Times are slowly changing but not that much.

MisterJackson, I love this girl because that is what I feel. If that means infatuated then I don't know. I don't think its lust related because I don't do things like that - it is serious stuff or no. I don't like to waste her time or my time, so that is why I don't date. If I like somebody, then I will.

I have not thought about the "suddenly become unavailable" option, but I really don't think it will work. I will try it though. Appreciate the help guys.

i know it's the way things are over there. i had a friend who fell in love with an Indian guy. his parents sharply disapproved of the relationship and went as far as saying they would never accept them getting married and deny any children they had.

that's plain asinine.

 

[CalvinHobbs]

well just let things happen and the see where that takes you, enjoy the friendship or companionship if you want.

 

[raildogg]

Originally posted by: CalvinHobbs
well just let things happen and the see where that takes you, enjoy the friendship or companionship if you want.

That is what one of my friends told me, to not rush things and just be her friend. She does not have many friends here and does not hang out. I will still talk to her but not about things like this. I want her friendship though, because she is special and I told her that. Lets see what happens today. I will try to update this thread - once again, thank you all.

 

[hellokeith]

Probably best to get some distance from her, and do not initiate contact with her. Time and distance are the best healers for a broken heart.

 

[raildogg]

Originally posted by: hellokeith
Probably best to get some distance from her, and do not initiate contact with her. Time and distance are the best healers for a broken heart.

True, but then again I want to be her friend and get to know her anyway even if it doesn't involve romance - although I will always love her. Yet on the other hand, I should not get that close now after what she said yesterday. Hmmm ....

 

[irishScott]

She's putting her family over you. That doesn't mean she doesn't feel anything. Maybe it's not as strong as you feel for her, but I think somethings there. Don't rush things though. Try to get in contact with her parents and ask... whatever it is you need to ask.

As for if you can feel strongly for someone and them not feel the same way: Yes it is possible. Happened to me last year. I made All-State Chorus (this was Senior year in HS), and on the bus-ride down I sat in front of this girl who goes to Another HS (she was a junior). Anyways, we were in different choruses (women's and mixed respectively) so we only saw each other at lunch and what-not, be we had a LOT in common and hit it off well every time. When we got back to Virginia I asked her out via phone, and she said that while I was one of the nicest fun guys she knew, she wasn't looking to start a relationship right now. I honestly don't know why she said it (I asked some of her friends who went to my school if she had a BF before I asked her) but I was initially crushed. Took a few months to get over that one. We're still friends oddly enough. Keep the friendship going at the least.

 

[Connoisseur]

Man you're Indian and you don't know the score yet? Either you're an idiot or you're damn naive. Heh just being hard on you. It happens; that's why I don't dig the conservative/traditional Indian girls. You're seriously not going to get ANYTHING out of them until the stars match and there's a ring on their finger. I wish they'd get a clue; I respect my Indian heritage a lot but, like most other cultures, there's plenty of s**t to make fun of. In case anyone who's reading this is a "traditional" Indian, hear this: "ANY CULTURAL "RULE" THAT A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP IS DUE TO THE GODS, STARS, PLANETS, ENERGY FLOW, CHICKEN BONES, JUJU, SHEEP HEADS, LITTLE INVISIBLE MEN FROM MY LOINS OR ANY OTHER TANGIBLE FORCES CAN SUCK IT." ::Note:: Yes I do have a lot of pent up rage for stupid rules, not just Indian.

 

[miniMUNCH]

Just because she won't date you doesn't mean she doesn't like you.

One of my friends married a girl whose parents where kinda old school /devout and were really against her "dating". So my friend spent a lot of time at her families house and vice versa but they never went out alone until after they were engaged.

Actually, my wife was kinda the same way although the situation was a bit more lax.

My friend has been happily married for like 10 years now, I've been married over seven years.

All I'm trying to say is that she might really like/love you but she is not going to do any "dating bullsh1t" or put out before marriage.

 

[Koing]

Originally posted by: MisterJackson
Odds are you don't "Love" this girl, you're just infatuated/in lust.

And if she cared that much for you then she'd date you, period. I know it's rough to hear, but if she was head over heels for you she'd date you and not tell the rents.

Sounds like a convenient excuse for her to fall back on dude.

Sorry, life sucks like that sometimes.....but we gotta get back up on the horse.

My bet, is if you suddenly become unavailable and not talk to her, period, she'll come to you and want more. Give it a try, what have you got to lose?

Chin up and don't be a b!tch dude...everyone goes through it and everyone comes out at the end of this BETTER. You will look back and think to yourself WHY was I SUCH A WHINEY LITTLE B!TCH?! This will only make you stronger.

Chin up and go enjoy life! Your healthy, studying at Uni, have good career prospects and everything at your finger tips. Hook up with your mates and go have some fun. Go on a fun weekend road trip!

Koing

 

[Walzber813]

Go big or go home.

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Caste? Level? Holy figures?

Maybe you need to grind some more low-level mobs and upgrade your Pimp skill to Lvl.16 before you can engage in PvP Dating. :laugh:

- M4H

 

[IceBergSLiM]

don't waste your time with a girl with so many hang ups.

 

[Chunkee]

your parents know best....you will have an arranged marriage...let them pick her out..

jC

 

[NanoStuff]

JYFIHP

 

[ShockwaveVT]

Indian.. doesn't date... sounds like she's waiting for her father to arrange a marriage for her. I'm not clear on the details of Indian arranged marriages but if you really like her, its time to get in her father's good graces and show him you are someone he would want his family associated with.

I've worked with an Indian woman who is in an arranged marriage, and while the practice seems odd to westerners, its based around having respect for & trust in your parents. She knew her parents would select a good husband for her and as she got to know the guy she found out they were right.

So basically she's got enough faith in he parents opinions that if they don't think you'd be a good husband you're S.O.L.

 

[JS80]

Isn't India the country where they threatened that one Bollywood actress for kissing in a movie? The British should have stayed.

 

[bleeb]

You don't love her, you just lust after her big dawg.

You might scare here if you confess something like that because she probably knows its B.S.

 

[Descartes]

As an American that is marrying an Indian girl, I completely empathize with you; however, if you love her, then that's all that should matter. I know it's in complete opposition to some cultural notions held by Indians, but there aren't many chances in life to be completely happy, and if you find someone special you shouldn't let it go to issues outside of your relationship.

Marrying someone that either family doesn't approve of will always be difficult, but you're talking about [hopefully] a lifetime of happiness versus the temporary discomfort of someone else.

 

[Fern]

Alright, where are the d@mn :camera: already?