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YAGT: Got a new job and have a crush on a co-worker

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Originally posted by: allisolm
I am paranoid, because if it follows the pattern of how I fall in love before, I wouldn't be able to control my desire.

Not being able to control oneself. That's what wife beaters say. That's what cheaters say. That's what the guy who mows down another motorist after getting cut off in traffic says.

If you say that, you're already setting yourself up for failure by abdicating responsibility before anything has even happened. "OOPs! Sorry! It just happened. I couldn't control myself. I can't help who I fall in love with." NOT TRUE! All people in committed relationships come across others who are attractive to them. Truly committed people just don't act on those feelings. Period.
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:thumbsup: for personal responsiblity
 
How can you even consider doing anything more than finding her attractive while you're married?

If you're so willing to go after this co-worker while you're married then maybe you should look at the bigger picture and figure out whats wrong in your marriage that would lead you to this, then see if you can correct it and if not you need to at least end things with your current wife before trying to start up a relationship, not to mention though that even if you did all that you still shouldn't date a co-worker just simply because of all the issue that will be a result of that in itself.

Just punch yourself in your balls and forget the whole thing, call your wife up and tell her how much you love her and set plans to see her a.s.a.p.!


 
Please tells us it's not your first cousin.....


But seriously, You need some professional help. Not help from ATOT.
 
Originally posted by: xSauronx
Originally posted by: allisolm
I am paranoid, because if it follows the pattern of how I fall in love before, I wouldn't be able to control my desire.

Not being able to control oneself. That's what wife beaters say. That's what cheaters say. That's what the guy who mows down another motorist after getting cut off in traffic says.

If you say that, you're already setting yourself up for failure by abdicating responsibility before anything has even happened. "OOPs! Sorry! It just happened. I couldn't control myself. I can't help who I fall in love with." NOT TRUE! All people in committed relationships come across others who are attractive to them. Truly committed people just don't act on those feelings. Period.
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:thumbsup: for personal responsiblity
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This is the US. We don't believe in that stuff anymore.
 
Originally posted by: Lazy8s
WTF is wrong with you people!?! Page 3 and no :camera:s yet! Pics or ban!!
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I was thinking the same... of both coworker and wife 😛

but the OPs comment on her hair... W..T...F...

just step away man.. step far far away
 
Originally posted by: randomlinh
Originally posted by: Lazy8s
WTF is wrong with you people!?! Page 3 and no :camera:s yet! Pics or ban!!
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I was thinking the same... of both coworker and wife 😛

but the OPs comment on her hair... W..T...F...

just step away man.. step far far away
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See, I was rummaging through this trash can and found this crackwh#re at the bottom. She's a little rough looking but she's got such purdy lips, what should I do....
 
Originally posted by: MichaelD
Do not flirt with your coworker. Flirting-->Lunch--->Dinner--->Sex---->your life is hell
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Hey friend, good to see you again. 🙂

MichaelD speaks the truth, as usual.

My wife and I have both had our... indiscretions. Fortunately we're both ok the other having a fling from time to time. So I know where you're coming from. Inevitably, after getting some hottie in the sack once or twice you realize how annoying she is, and just how much you appreciate your wife. So unless you and the wife are into the swinging thing, second rate sex is not worth the headache it will cause.
 
you better hope your wife doesnt like atot or looks at the history and accidently loads this topic..

or anyone here that has been cheated on desides to send her a email..


dont do it..

i am 22 and am very very single and I know the ****** answer...you should too
 
Originally posted by: PandaBear
Suggestion on what to do to make me not have a crush?
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Start talking to your wife more. Make a choice to not fantasize about it (she will never treat you as good as your wife does). Let the emotions ride out and don't do anything!!!!! If you make a conscious effort to not fantasize about it (try to remain active), the emotions will ride out sooner or later. The fact that you are even considering doing something, lessens you. I guarantee you will regret it if you do anything.
 
Originally posted by: KarmaPolice
you better hope your wife doesnt like atot or looks at the history and accidently loads this topic..

or anyone here that has been cheated on desides to send her a email..


dont do it..

i am 22 and am very very single and I know the ****** answer...you should too
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dud'e name is karma police, i'd listen
 
Originally posted by: PandaBear
Me: 28, engineer, recently married but wife lives out of town

Wife: 27, works in the bio-tech industry, very good looking, perfect wife

Co-Worker: 25, engineer, looks alright (slightly chubby, excellent hair care), but reminds me of a former fantasy of mine (a girl that i went after in college but didn't get). There is one guy in my dept going after her, but I don't think she is interested in him. We didn't talk much.



I tried not to keep an eye contact with my co-worker, but the more I tried, the more I fancy her.

Suggestion on what to do to make me not have a crush?
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Snap out of it. You're married. Think about your feelings if your wife was going through her own situation similar to this one, and she was interested in a guy she worked with. How would you feel?
 
You're recently married and already thinking about cheating? You're an ass if you do it and theres a special place in hell reserved for pathetic little sh!ts like you. :|:|
 
Originally posted by: dabuddha
You're recently married and already thinking about cheating? You're an ass if you do it and theres a special place in hell reserved for pathetic little sh!ts like you. :|:|
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Easy, easy. The man has done nothing. He's just afraid of making a stupid mistake.

And like has been said, YOU are in control, so don't do it and you'll be fine. If you "give in" it's no one's fault but your own.
 
If your wife is as great as you say she is then I don't understand how your thought process even came far enough to let you post.

You can be friends with the co-worker but remember about your commitment to your wife.
 
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