YAGT: gf kisses another dude....

[Trevelyan]

Seriously man, a quick kiss and then a regret is one thing that you could debate about.

But a minute-long french kiss is something that she had plenty of time to think about, and not something that is easily forgiven. Just imagining that she let some other guy put his tongue down her throat for a freakin makeout session isn't exactly "innocent" testing... what exactly was she hoping to "find out" from one kiss with this other guy? Well since he kisses this way I can definately tell everything about who he is as a person... blah blah blah. Most BS story I've ever heard.

EDIT:

Honestly I think her story is a way of dodging blame for her actions. Tell her you've thought about it and show her it was serious and break it off with her. If she honestly had some doubts about the relationship she could have some freakin courtesy to talk to you about it and deal with you in a way that shows she cares about you. Nah, she's lieing to you, she saw some guy, was attracted to him and wanted him, she didn't give a flip about you or your feelings... she was too busy enjoying the moment to care. THATS the truth about this situation, not her glossed-over "I did it for us" guilt-dodging BS.

 

[hysperion]

First, videotape having sex with her- tell her that it's something you've always wanted to do and that you think she has what it takes to make an awesome movie with you. Make sure she knows about the taping in order to prevent legal issues later on.
Then if she does it again, mail a copy of the tape to each of her parents in an unmarked package, make sure to include a vhs and dvd version (vhs because not everyone has a dvd player, dvd because if they do you want her daddy to get a high-quality video don't you?).....
Next, sell it on here- most of the people who read this site haven't seen a girl naked before so I'm sure you could turn a profit. Remember, since she participated in the tape she's probably entitled to some of the profits so make sure that the profits are business expenses. What type of business expenses are associated with sex tapes? Why drinkin' and hoes!
Finally, use said profit to buy lots of hot hoes and drinks so that you get over this girl quickly. You're in college and the sooner you get over this one the sooner you will be on to chicks who aren't complete hoes who need to make out with guys to "check' if they still want to be with you.

Please remember that if you do use my advice I am entitled to 10% of the profits before expenses as your manager...

 

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: PushHands
Geez... you're going to have to realize that there are quite a few people here that are giving you advice beat off instead of figuring out how to actually have a relationship with a woman. You seem to have a strong sense of self and some good values. Has anyone ever heard of forgiveness? I'm not saying to forgive her, and I'm not saying to dump her. Go make up your own mind after searching for it within yourself. That is the only way you can live with your decision.

I'm going to assume that you're near the 20 yr. mark, and there's plenty of life ahead. Though it seems like this kiss is the most important thing right now, its going to look like a joke when you look back at 30. The difference is whether you'll still be with her at 30 or not. Good luck!

It depends on how resentful and bitter he is. If he is going to hold this over her head (as a way of inducing guilt) for the rest of their relationship, then SHE should dump him, stat.

 

[OOBradm]

Originally posted by: PushHands
Geez... you're going to have to realize that there are quite a few people here that are giving you advice beat off instead of figuring out how to actually have a relationship with a woman. You seem to have a strong sense of self and some good values. Has anyone ever heard of forgiveness? I'm not saying to forgive her, and I'm not saying to dump her. Go make up your own mind after searching for it within yourself. That is the only way you can live with your decision.

I'm going to assume that you're near the 20 yr. mark, and there's plenty of life ahead. Though it seems like this kiss is the most important thing right now, its going to look like a joke when you look back at 30. The difference is whether you'll still be with her at 30 or not. Good luck!

PushHands, I really feel a connection to your advice. As you said, i read the advice givin here, but i also kept in mind that it has it limitations #1 because the people here can only see my situaion based on the facts and none of the emotion and #2 im on a tech board, and its common knowledge that tech people + relationship advice is possibly not the best combination. But, i did use all of the advice here, as its always good to get a second opinion so you know your not being blinded by something. So I told her i forgave her, but i wouldnt be able to trust her for a long while. and she was going to have to earn my trust back. And i also told ehr trust is the #1 most important thing in a ldr, therefore, she better work pretty damn hard if she wants to keep me.

and she said of course i will, your the most important person to me.

and that is that.

 

[alkemyst]

You do realize by putting her through this when in fact she was being honest from the start about it will now set the road for deceit in the future.

Getting upset over a kiss that ended there is high school...if you are out and about with members of the opposite sex, things like that occur from time to time. It's natural. Being an trustworthy adult though, you learn to stop things before they get out of hand.

 

[purbeast0]

Originally posted by: AntiEverything
Jesus, what a bunch of prudes. My girlfriend of 2.5 years has slept with other guys. I've been with other women. Get over yourselves. You are not and never will be the absolute last thing another human being needs. If you're monogamous now, it's a temporary thing, so don't get to comfortable.

What is the divorce rate? 50%? And of the remaining 50% how many are truly happy vs. how many are simply living together in misery?

If people would get over their personal relationship hangups, the world would be a lot closer to getting over international relationship problems.

now i can understand your name on these boards.

 

[OOBradm]

actually, nevermind. Im not going to post on this subject anymore.

Thanks all!

 

[Gulzakar]

Tonight, i told her i'd let if fly this time, but any hint of ANYTHING from now on, and its over.

Spoken like a man...nicely done! 🙂

doesn't hurt to give her another shot at this point...as long as YOU can handle it.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: OOBradm
actually, nevermind. Im not going to post on this subject anymore.

Thanks all!

I understand where you are coming from...the long distance thing I also understand makes it harder...but you have to realize what I said above is going to happen especially when young whether you have a studio apartment together or she's 1/2 way across the planet.

I commend her for bringing it up to you. I have brought up things to my g/f's and my current wife that could potentially cause me problems. A few weeks ago I hung out with an old friend that somehow began to change in front of me. She was down to bra and panties before I could complain...however; when it was obvious it wasn't going to go anywhere she just put her new outfit on and said I was a 'great guy' 😉

My wife asked if I wanted to to do anything with her, I told her I didn't want to, but I was attracted. That is just being honest. I am sure if I tried to say 'no honey she repulsed me and I didn't have any desire to nail her as she bent over in front of me' my wife would suspect we did have sex and I was covering it up.

 

[neilm]

Originally posted by: Darthvoy
Trust me man..she banged him and during that time she didn't have one thought of you. Why do you think she said it was ok for you to bang other chicks while she was going to try and be faithful? She is feeling guilty. You also mentioned that her friends are telling her to break it of with you, so you have to ask yourself why would they do that, right? The reason being that she found someone she is interested in(him being the one she banged hard) and is/was conteplating with her friends whether to break it off with you for him. Now that she fvcked him she sees the nature of her mistake. She didn't think that what she did was fair to you, hence she told you the sweetened version of what happened. Who french kisses another person for a whole minute or even more, before they realize they have a b/f or g/f?

Somehow that makes sense, but I'm not gonna call her a liar as I don't even know the girl, hopefully it will all come good.

 

[FinalFantasy]

Originally posted by: xarmian

Originally posted by: simms
You won't listen to us. You still want to be with her and in the end it won't matter what we think.

Try it out. It's a gamble, and I know you really love her. But sometimes you're just setting yourself up

<-- From experience

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HE'S RIGHT! HE'S RIGHT! HE'S RIGHT!

Please Please PLEASE, listen to this guy!

 

[Paratus]

Hey OP I think you've made the right choice. If you love her you've got to give it a shot.

However, if it goes badly my advice is get over it quickly. You've got a lot of good college years ahead so don't waste em.

 

[Abhi]

Originally posted by: xarmian

Originally posted by: simms
You won't listen to us. You still want to be with her and in the end it won't matter what we think.

Try it out. It's a gamble, and I know you really love her. But sometimes you're just setting yourself up

<-- From experience

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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HE'S RIGHT! HE'S RIGHT! HE'S RIGHT!

 

[erikistired]

hit it and split.

 

[Adul]

i see kissing as a minor offense. She gets a second chance, anything more then its over period.

 

[JEDI]

Originally posted by: OOBradm
I'll keep this short.

Weve been dating for over a year.

she goes to Boston University, i go to RIT.

She kisses another guy.
claims that its what everyone does there and says she just needs to make sure im the right one for her.

Promises that she felt nothing when she kissed him and still wants to date me.

SO, im in her room RIGHT NOW, sitting 3 feet from her. shes sleeping. do i continue to date her?

Ask Red.

See his recent posts about what happened after he forgave her