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YAGT: Ever have mixed feelings about a girl? *updated*

K

Kenny

Platinum Member
Well this is probably gonna be a long post so I'll try to keep it simple.

I met this girl in high school, I used to always like her. She just had that look about her that made her admirable. I hardly talked to her, but mainly because she didn't seem like she wanted to continue the conversation. Summer 2002 she contacted me on AIM. She got my screen name from her friend that I got to know.

Well it just so happens her friend told this girl I liked her and I think she was talking to me just out of pity. Later on we went out to watch movies and stuff, just as friends. Later on she brings the topic up of me liking her. She gave me a chance and we went out for about three months.

It was probably the worst three months I've ever dealt with a girl. I didn't bother calling her, never really held hands with her and when we went out, it was because she wanted to. I'm very indecisive and shy. Two bad traits for dealing with girls. Well after the three months were over I decided to end it mainly because I didn't do anything to make better of the relationship.

She seemed to be ok with it but I think she got attached to me. I don't know why.

On my birthday she left a gift on my doorstep. I didn't expect it from her. Two weeks later I gave her a gift (her birthday). She was at her cousins house, and she asked me to pick her up since I was heading out to give her a gift anyway. We talked for about half an hour in the car and dropped her off. Later that night she calls me to let me know she still has feelings for me. I didn't know what to say so I just left the matter alone. I started talking to her more and I've grown to like her again. I would definitely consider going out again, but I don't know how it'll turn out.

I'm probably gonna ask her out to a movie or something and see how it goes from there. Hopefully things will lighten up.



I just had to get that off my chest.
Leave me comments if you wish.

Update:

So I called her out for a movie and we went bowling with her friends afterwards. I felt that I needed another day so two days later I called her out for another movie. I asked her to go out with me again and she said yes. Phew. We decided to be more open with each other and take things nice and slow. We walked out of the theatre holding hands. Hopefully I don't screw things up like I did before. I'm trying my best to take the initiative in everything.
 
Didn't even hold hands? Work on that and call her and talk to her no matter how long she talks. Make sure you listen as much as you can though.
 
this time try being a boyfriend and not just a friend.

Oh BTW... she likes you still because you fell into the "asshole boyfriend" category while you were dating last time... treat her like sh!t and she'll come begging for more. Try being nice and romancing her this time
 
Originally posted by: AgaBooga
Didn't even hold hands? Work on that and call her and talk to her no matter how long she talks. Make sure you listen as much as you can though.
Click to expand...

I held hands with her once in a while, I don't know why I didn't do it more.

I've become a real good listener over the years in high school. Girls used to call me all the time with their problems, but I eventually got sick of helping their relationship with their stupid boyfriends.

The only problem with listening to her is she doesn't really talk much. We're both pretty quiet.

Hopefully we can be more open with each other.

And thanks for the tip TheGrandCow, I didn't realize I was acting like "just a friend" until you brought it up.
 
You two seem to have mutual feelings for each other. I'd say someone always has to be the "initiater" in a relationship; the one who basically gets the both of you to go and see a movie for example.

In the first scenario, she seemed to be the initiater, whereas now you seem to be the initiater. However, remember that a relationship is a two person thing. You can't just have one person putting in all the effort into the relationship; both people have to participate, and maybe one does a little more (I have heard from many of my friends that the girl is the one who puts in more in a relationship).

I think when a person is initially looking for a realtionship with someone, it's hard for that person to find someone who has mutual feelings, and when he/she finally finds a mutual person, it just all clicks ("is he/she the one?".

If you think something is there, pursue it; don't let it get away. Letting it go so early may be easy, but later on you may have second thoughts about it. It's an experience more than anything if the realtionship happens goes south, and, you learn by experience too. If you didn't like it or something about it, you will note that type of thing when looking for relationships in the future.

Hope this helps some.
 
Like everyone says, make the effort it will be worth while even if its just hugging when you see each other or taking her out on the spur of the moment shell appreciate it
 
You learn and get better at relationships over time, so this time it'll probably turn out better when you remember how you were before and what you should have done.
 
I've become a real good listener over the years in high school. Girls used to call me all the time with their problems, but I eventually got sick of helping their relationship with their stupid boyfriends.
Click to expand...

Do you often find yourself mentally critiquing people's choices of shoes? Do you wonder how someone can wear plaid? Do you spend more than an hour getting ready every morning?

Maybe you should look into a boyfriend of your own.
 
Originally posted by: Nebor
I've become a real good listener over the years in high school. Girls used to call me all the time with their problems, but I eventually got sick of helping their relationship with their stupid boyfriends.
Click to expand...

Do you often find yourself mentally critiquing people's choices of shoes? Do you wonder how someone can wear plaid? Do you spend more than an hour getting ready every morning?

Maybe you should look into a boyfriend of your own.
Click to expand...

Ouch dude, uncool.
 
Originally posted by: Nebor
I've become a real good listener over the years in high school. Girls used to call me all the time with their problems, but I eventually got sick of helping their relationship with their stupid boyfriends.
Click to expand...

Do you often find yourself mentally critiquing people's choices of shoes? Do you wonder how someone can wear plaid? Do you spend more than an hour getting ready every morning?

Maybe you should look into a boyfriend of your own.
Click to expand...

Um, no?

This is a good read. I felt like the "nice guy" everytime a girl called, and I just got sick of it.
 
Originally posted by: Nebor
I've become a real good listener over the years in high school. Girls used to call me all the time with their problems, but I eventually got sick of helping their relationship with their stupid boyfriends.
Click to expand...

Do you often find yourself mentally critiquing people's choices of shoes? Do you wonder how someone can wear plaid? Do you spend more than an hour getting ready every morning?

Maybe you should look into a boyfriend of your own.
Click to expand...

I don't blame you t60....hearing girls go on and on about their boyfriends is something I have endured and it does get too much.

Nebor....Stop Posting
 
Grow a pair of testicles, be a man, and take charge of the relationship if you want one. Don't be an indecisive limp noodle, and a disgrace to the ATOT community..

...and good luck 🙂
 
Thanks for the support guys. I will definitely try my best to "take charge" in the relationship. Unfortunately it's getting late and I have to be up in a few hours. I will try and keep this updated later on.
 
Originally posted by: t60
Originally posted by: Nebor
I've become a real good listener over the years in high school. Girls used to call me all the time with their problems, but I eventually got sick of helping their relationship with their stupid boyfriends.
Click to expand...

Do you often find yourself mentally critiquing people's choices of shoes? Do you wonder how someone can wear plaid? Do you spend more than an hour getting ready every morning?

Maybe you should look into a boyfriend of your own.
Click to expand...

Um, no?

This is a good read. I felt like the "nice guy" everytime a girl called, and I just got sick of it.
Click to expand...

Too many nice guys are wimps. No way around it. Show some backbone and make your intentions clear. If you don't want to listen, then don't. Women get the hint, and they either go for you or they back off.
 
i'm guessing if you don't hold hands, perhaps you should try kissing her

all of a sudden women become more interesting when you start there, maybe you'll actually try this time
 
You are pathetic. You like a girl, she likes you, yet you give yourself no opportunity to enjoy the situation. Seems to me this girl has gone way out of her way to get to know you. If I were this girl, I'd forget about your sorry ass.
 
Originally posted by: t60
Well this is probably gonna be a long post so I'll try to keep it simple.

I met this girl in high school, I used to always like her. She just had that look about her that made her admirable. I hardly talked to her, but mainly because she didn't seem like she wanted to continue the conversation. Summer 2002 she contacted me on AIM. She got my screen name from her friend that I got to know.

Well it just so happens her friend told this girl I liked her and I think she was talking to me just out of pity. Later on we went out to watch movies and stuff, just as friends. Later on she brings the topic up of me liking her. She gave me a chance and we went out for about three months.

It was probably the worst three months I've ever dealt with a girl. I didn't bother calling her, never really held hands with her and when we went out, it was because she wanted to. I'm very indecisive and shy. Two bad traits for dealing with girls. Well after the three months were over I decided to end it mainly because I didn't do anything to make better of the relationship.

She seemed to be ok with it but I think she got attached to me. I don't know why.

On my birthday she left a gift on my doorstep. I didn't expect it from her. Two weeks later I gave her a gift (her birthday). She was at her cousins house, and she asked me to pick her up since I was heading out to give her a gift anyway. We talked for about half an hour in the car and dropped her off. Later that night she calls me to let me know she still has feelings for me. I didn't know what to say so I just left the matter alone. I started talking to her more and I've grown to like her again. I would definitely consider going out again, but I don't know how it'll turn out.

I'm probably gonna ask her out to a movie or something and see how it goes from there. Hopefully things will lighten up.



I just had to get that off my chest.
Leave me comments if you wish.
Click to expand...

What do you want from this relationship?
 
go back out with her, but whatever you want out of her, you better get it from her fast! She just wanna you to go back out with her, so its her turn to dump your ass this time around.
 
Originally posted by: ThaGrandCow
this time try being a boyfriend and not just a friend.

Oh BTW... she likes you still because you fell into the "asshole boyfriend" category while you were dating last time... treat her like sh!t and she'll come begging for more. Try being nice and romancing her this time
Click to expand...

BOOOOOOOOOOO ... be quiet grand cow ... keep treating her the way you did .. unless you want to become the chump in the relationship (which by the way is what you did to her)
 
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