So my fiancee is going to cambridge for 2 months as part of a summer program. I got a call from her on the fourth talking about doing something with some dude. She was really trashed and i couldn't understand her. So she call me again on sunday, the fifth, and explains that she was so drunk that its possible she would have done something but didn't. She then went on to say that if she got that drunk again that she was most likely to go do something with the first person who hit on her. My response was don't drink like that again, she said that wasn't an option. But not to worry because she didn't have the budget to drink like that again. So her reason for not cheating on me is money? WTF.
Cliff notes: Fiancee in UK gets really drunk doesn't cheat but says next time she most likely will. But not to worry because drinks are too expensive to drink like that again.
I was planning on going to visit her at the beginning of september for like 2 weeks, but now i am not sure. I don't want to buy a plane ticket and take time off from work and get there and find out she got really drunk again.
What would you do? How would you feel? Any advice?
UPDATE
Just got a letter from her,
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yesterday was the fourth of July and I got a little tipsy and called you. I remember it vividly and I'm sure you do too. You sounded quite irritated with me or at least distracted. But, I meant everything I said. I hate the way I feel when I am drunk, I do have lower inhabitions and it is possible that some thing stupid could happen & I could let some stupid drunk boy (or even girl) kiss me, That is NOT what I want. And if alcohol affects you in remotely the same way it affects me, I don't want either of us to be drinking. Not with other people, not when we are so far away and missing each other so much. It is just a bad combination, I know this would be extremely hard for you and it's not something I am going to demand of you. I would like to think that neither of us would be able to cross the line into what is inappropriate but the truth is that neither of us REALLY know.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It goes on a bit more but nothing really to the rest. For me, i know i am faithful no matter how drunk i am. I went drinking with a girl from work and a few other co-workers and we ended up getting quite drunk (well i did) and we went back to her place so she could change ( i forgot why) and she started to change right in front of me and i just walked out of the room. It really pisses me off her saying she doesn't know what will happen if either of us get drunk around other people, because i do know.
Second Update
UPDATE!
I called her and we talked for a very long time. Apparently someone i know had e-mailed her saying that i was cheating on her with my co-worker (i haven't figured out who, but can only be one of a few people). She thought i was cheating so she tried pushing my buttons trying to get me to confess to something i never did. Basically we both thought the other was cheating or atleast would before her stay in the UK was over. So bad communication equals relationship problems. Once we both explained everything and tried to picture the situation from each others shoes we put it all together.
I am planning on going to see her in september and i hope everything stays ok until then.
ANOTHER UPDATE
I said i was pretty sure i knew where the e-mail came from, so let me explain. A while back when i first moved to san diego i lived with this girl i knew, while her husband was on a 3 month business trip. Nothing happened between us and i think i posted about it before. She realized that she liked living with me better then her husband and a bucnh of other stuff. Anyways i moved out and moved in with my gf at the time, now my fiancee. Long story short is that the girl i used to live with is good friends with a girl that just got transfered to my office, who would know about me and that coworker. I am about 95% sure that the girl who just got transfered talked to the girl i used to live with and one or both of them decided to e-mail my fiancee. The timing and the information about me leads me to believe that someone i work with is involved but nobody at work has my fiancee's e-maill addy, however the girl i used to live with does.
Cliff notes: Wanna be Ex is jealous and tries to ruin my relationship with some help from one of my new co-workers.
Latest UPDATE!!!! I got the tickets, $50 extra to fly with her, already got the seats next to her. WOOT!!!!
Cliff notes: Fiancee in UK gets really drunk doesn't cheat but says next time she most likely will. But not to worry because drinks are too expensive to drink like that again.
I was planning on going to visit her at the beginning of september for like 2 weeks, but now i am not sure. I don't want to buy a plane ticket and take time off from work and get there and find out she got really drunk again.
What would you do? How would you feel? Any advice?
UPDATE
Just got a letter from her,
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yesterday was the fourth of July and I got a little tipsy and called you. I remember it vividly and I'm sure you do too. You sounded quite irritated with me or at least distracted. But, I meant everything I said. I hate the way I feel when I am drunk, I do have lower inhabitions and it is possible that some thing stupid could happen & I could let some stupid drunk boy (or even girl) kiss me, That is NOT what I want. And if alcohol affects you in remotely the same way it affects me, I don't want either of us to be drinking. Not with other people, not when we are so far away and missing each other so much. It is just a bad combination, I know this would be extremely hard for you and it's not something I am going to demand of you. I would like to think that neither of us would be able to cross the line into what is inappropriate but the truth is that neither of us REALLY know.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It goes on a bit more but nothing really to the rest. For me, i know i am faithful no matter how drunk i am. I went drinking with a girl from work and a few other co-workers and we ended up getting quite drunk (well i did) and we went back to her place so she could change ( i forgot why) and she started to change right in front of me and i just walked out of the room. It really pisses me off her saying she doesn't know what will happen if either of us get drunk around other people, because i do know.
Second Update
UPDATE!
I called her and we talked for a very long time. Apparently someone i know had e-mailed her saying that i was cheating on her with my co-worker (i haven't figured out who, but can only be one of a few people). She thought i was cheating so she tried pushing my buttons trying to get me to confess to something i never did. Basically we both thought the other was cheating or atleast would before her stay in the UK was over. So bad communication equals relationship problems. Once we both explained everything and tried to picture the situation from each others shoes we put it all together.
I am planning on going to see her in september and i hope everything stays ok until then.
ANOTHER UPDATE
I said i was pretty sure i knew where the e-mail came from, so let me explain. A while back when i first moved to san diego i lived with this girl i knew, while her husband was on a 3 month business trip. Nothing happened between us and i think i posted about it before. She realized that she liked living with me better then her husband and a bucnh of other stuff. Anyways i moved out and moved in with my gf at the time, now my fiancee. Long story short is that the girl i used to live with is good friends with a girl that just got transfered to my office, who would know about me and that coworker. I am about 95% sure that the girl who just got transfered talked to the girl i used to live with and one or both of them decided to e-mail my fiancee. The timing and the information about me leads me to believe that someone i work with is involved but nobody at work has my fiancee's e-maill addy, however the girl i used to live with does.
Cliff notes: Wanna be Ex is jealous and tries to ruin my relationship with some help from one of my new co-workers.
Latest UPDATE!!!! I got the tickets, $50 extra to fly with her, already got the seats next to her. WOOT!!!!
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