No.
21 year old guy needs to play with kids his own age. 21 year old guy who needs 17 year old girl makes me wonder what's wrong with 21 year old guy that he can't get 21 year old girls.
No.
21 year old guy needs to play with kids his own age. 21 year old guy who needs 17 year old girl makes me wonder what's wrong with 21 year old guy that he can't get 21 year old girls.
irishScott
Lifer
- Oct 10, 2006
- 21,562
- 3
- 0
Originally posted by: chocobaR
Originally posted by: Captante
Originally posted by: chocobaR
Thank you for the helpI was supposed to meet her tomorrow, I will not be going. I will explain to her that I am too old and she will understand.
I'm happy to see somone listen to good advice for a change, trust me ... in the long run this is for the best for both of you.
This really sucks though, the girl is really awesome. I know this may sound stupid, but I feel as if she'll be in the top 5 most awesome girls I'll ever meet. I know it sounds stupid, but I have a weird feeling. Considering who I am, what I look like, I'm almost certain I won't find someone like that again
Go for it. See what happens. You can always kill it off if it gets too bad.
Originally posted by: postmortemIA
when i was 28, i dated 17 y.o.
...for very brief period of time
no, I didn't do anything that would put me behind the bars, I was willing to wait few months.
Why did I do it? Her ex of 1yr was 32. Of course, now looking at it, it wasn't good idea and bound to not work.
When I was 20 I found out that my 17 year old sister was hanging out with a 30 year old.
Kicked in his door and beat the ****** out of him.
postmortemIA
Diamond Member
- Jul 11, 2006
- 7,721
- 40
- 91
Originally posted by: jbourne77
Originally posted by: postmortemIA
when i was 28, i dated 17 y.o.
...for very brief period of time
no, I didn't do anything that would put me behind the bars, I was willing to wait few months.
Why did I do it? Her ex of 1yr was 32. Of course, now looking at it, it wasn't good idea and bound to not work.
When I was 20 I found out that my 17 year old sister was hanging out with a 30 year old.
Kicked in his door and beat the ****** out of him.
in my case, she settled for a guy that is 25 y.o.
Just because he happens to be interested in a younger girl does not mean he 'can't get' a girl his own age. I think what is far more important than dating someone who is a 'proper' age is dating someone you enjoy and who likes you too.
If we're talking about 31 year olds and 27 year olds, then I'd agree with you 100%.
21 year olds and 17 year olds... TOTALLY different story. There is a light year's difference in age at that point. If a 21 year old and a 17 year old have ANYTHING in common, something is very wrong.
Originally posted by: postmortemIA
when i was 28, i dated 17 y.o.
...for very brief period of time
no, I didn't do anything that would put me behind the bars, I was willing to wait few months.
Why did I do it? Her ex of 1yr was 32. Of course, now looking at it, it wasn't good idea and bound to not work.
Funny, when I was 17 I dated a guy who was 28.... for a brief period of time. But we broke up only because he was boring, not due to any age related issues. He's still boring, 11 years later but in a drug-addiction sort of way.
Then after plenty of relationships with guys within the 'ATOT approved' age range I fell madly in love with a 17 year old when I was 25. Three years of happy blissfull relationship goodness. Best 'risk' I ever took. Wasn't as much of a risk though, since in Canada the age of consent is 14.
postmortemIA
Diamond Member
- Jul 11, 2006
- 7,721
- 40
- 91
as always, generalizing is never a good idea. There's possibility that 21 y.o. male is not mature at all.
Tough to say, really. As the subjects get older, the lines really begin to blur. At 17 and 21, each person is at - or should be at - a totally different stage of their life. At 20 and 28, it's still likely that they're in separate stages, but not as rare as the former.
shortylickens
No Lifer
- Jul 15, 2003
- 80,287
- 17,082
- 136
STORY TIME WITH SHORTYLICKENS!
Shortly after I turned 27 I was up at my local coffee house, (I hate coffee but the girls there are cute) and I was discussing the issue of men and women and why there are no women in my life with the gal at the register. We were having a decent conversation but then she stomped all over my feelings and psyche when I mentioned how I like to flirt with the gals at the shop.
She said she was married and the girls there were too young for me.
Now I happen to know for a fact that all the women up at this house are at least 18 and therefore can legally consent. But at the time we were not even talking about sex, just relationships in general.
And finally it dawned on me that she was saying the 18 year-olds were cut off from me. This was most distressing news as (up to that point) I had never really considered myself outside any one group of girls.
When I was 18 and 19 I found myself frequently cavorting with 30 and 35 year-old women. Single moms and such.
But somehow I had managed to reach a certain point where the women in our local society considered me "of a certain age" and I could only associate with other women of a certain age.
What I dont get is: When did this happen?
When did I suddently become cut off from chasing 18 year-olds?
Why wasnt I notified of this developement and what is the new cutoff age for me now?
And I'm not looking for that stupid Man/2 times 3.56 minus the number of days in my birthmonth BS. I dont believe a special formula has anything to do with it and most of my friends never heard of such a thing anyway. But many of them have expressed displeasure when they see me flirt with teenage girls. I just dont see the line or why its there.
Shortly after I turned 27 I was up at my local coffee house, (I hate coffee but the girls there are cute) and I was discussing the issue of men and women and why there are no women in my life with the gal at the register. We were having a decent conversation but then she stomped all over my feelings and psyche when I mentioned how I like to flirt with the gals at the shop.
She said she was married and the girls there were too young for me.
Now I happen to know for a fact that all the women up at this house are at least 18 and therefore can legally consent. But at the time we were not even talking about sex, just relationships in general.
And finally it dawned on me that she was saying the 18 year-olds were cut off from me. This was most distressing news as (up to that point) I had never really considered myself outside any one group of girls.
When I was 18 and 19 I found myself frequently cavorting with 30 and 35 year-old women. Single moms and such.
But somehow I had managed to reach a certain point where the women in our local society considered me "of a certain age" and I could only associate with other women of a certain age.
What I dont get is: When did this happen?
When did I suddently become cut off from chasing 18 year-olds?
Why wasnt I notified of this developement and what is the new cutoff age for me now?
And I'm not looking for that stupid Man/2 times 3.56 minus the number of days in my birthmonth BS. I dont believe a special formula has anything to do with it and most of my friends never heard of such a thing anyway. But many of them have expressed displeasure when they see me flirt with teenage girls. I just dont see the line or why its there.
Having already been 21 I can honestly say most of us are not terribly mature. I considered myself the most mature person I knew at the time and that isnt saying much at all. I think my distinguishing characteristic at the time was knowing enough to not drink myself to death.
By 'stage of their life' do you mean mental growth/maturity stage? Or highschool/college/work stage?
If you mean the former I would agree, you need to have at least somewhat similar maturity level. But you likely need that to be even interested in someone (unless it is just physical attraction, or financial attraction, but we can put those types of relationships aside for the purposes of this discussion, right?). And maturity has little to do with age.
If, however, by 'stage of life' you mean what you happen to be currently doing with your time, I would agree that it could make a relationship easier in some cases to be at the same 'stage'. But I do not think this is essential to maintain a perfectly happy relationship. Actually I know 100 percent that it is not essential, from personal experience.
Post college and pre-college is just silly.. completely different stage in life... Plus, if she goes to college, it is likely to be far away.
MaxDepth
Diamond Member
- Jun 12, 2001
- 8,757
- 43
- 91
No, Shorty, you can run around and chase 18 yr old girls. The person you were speaking to was wanting you to hit on them. This person was feeling rejected because you'd go for the young hottie instead of the mocha half caf decaf crone behind the counter.
Either/Or. My point is that what is going on in each of their lives are so vastly different. IMO, if a 21 year old can relate to a 17 year old, then he/she hasn't quite grown up at a "normal rate". If the 17 year old can relate to a 21 year old, then that person is growing up too fast.
shortylickens
No Lifer
- Jul 15, 2003
- 80,287
- 17,082
- 136
Well thats the problem. The girl I was talking with was very cute and had a happy marriage (I kinda sorta know her and her hubby outside of work). I honestly dont know why she would try to crap on my potential happiness unless she had been hurt by an older guy at some point in her life.Originally posted by: MaxDepth
No, Shorty, you can run around and chase 18 yr old girls. The person you were speaking to was wanting you to hit on them. This person was feeling rejected because you'd go for the young hottie instead of the mocha half caf decaf crone behind the counter.
Would you rather her go out with a mature 21 yr old, or a hormone ridden teen horndog that has one thing on his mind and will do / say anything to get some action?
If you take an 'average' 17 yo and an 'average' 21 yo then perhaps they are at different stages and perhaps not compatible. But we all know people are not always average. Perhaps the 17 yo girl did grow up faster than 'average'. So what? Perhaps they compromised and both have a 19 yo maturity level. So what? If he likes her, he should go for it. If it doesn't work and in 3 weeks he thinks she is too young, then so be it.
I wouldn't allow that. I don't have kids but a 21 year old should be dating people his own age. 17 is not near his own age.
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