YAGT: A good friend or a gf?

[Vegitto]

Okay, so recently, I was in love with this girl. I posted pics, blah blah blah. She's got a boyfriend now, and it ain't me. Buuuuuut, a friend of hers told me she really liked me and blah blah blah, I'm kind of in love with you.

And you'd say, well, that's nice. She's a nice girl, pretty goodlooking, pretty smart, fun to do stuff with (we've been friends for ~3 years), it could work.

Well, here's the problem. My best friend's had a crush on her since long before I knew either. They're both classmates, I've known them both for about 3 years. I've always been good friends with the girl, but the guys' my best friend. And I seriously know he'd be devastated if me and this girl would go out with each other and stuff.

So, here's my problem: Do I pick my best friend and lose the girl, or do I pick the girl and lose a best friend?

Thanks in advance.

EDIT:
They've always been good friends, but she always declined being his GF. I haven't had a crush on her ever, but now that I think of it, she IS a fine girl, and I think it could work out greatly. She's always been nice to me, and recently, she said, she's come to think of me than more as a friend.

 

[thirdlegstump]

I've learned that in order to survive in this world, you must screw others including your friends. If you dig her, dig in regardless of your buddy's puny little feelings. He'll get over it.

 

[minendo]

Bros before hoes.

 

[I Saw OJ]

You both have a crush on her but neither one of you did anything about it? I would say in that case shes up for grabs to whoever makes the first move.

If your buddy makes a move before you, then you must bow out, but until then, shes fair game.

 

[Vegitto]

I'll edit the OP 🙂.

 

[crt1530]

Ask Satan for guidance.

 

[Inspector Jihad]

how about you talk to him about it?

 

[skim milk]

The girl

 

[Shimmishim]

Originally posted by: minendo
Bros before hoes.

 

[Vegitto]

Originally posted by: crt1530
Ask Satan for guidance.

Sorry, it's $66.66 a minute. A little too expensive 😛.

Originally posted by: Inspector Jihad
how about you talk to him about it?

Numerous reasons. She asked me not to tell him, and he'd say that he wouldn't care. I just know it'd kill him inside.

 

[I Saw OJ]

Originally posted by: Vegitto

Originally posted by: crt1530
Ask Satan for guidance.

Sorry, it's $66.66 a minute. A little too expensive 😛.

Originally posted by: Inspector Jihad
how about you talk to him about it?

Numerous reasons. She asked me not to tell him, and he'd say that he wouldn't care. I just know it'd kill him inside.

If you know it will eat him up inside, then you might just have to bite the bullet and pass on this girl. If he is a good friend that is.

Edit: Ok who voted "I touch myself at night"? Step up and get your ear twisted!

 

[JonnyStarks]

Originally posted by: minendo
Bros before hoes.

 

[roguerower]

For the love of god, just pick the girl already. If your friend is your friend he will understand, if not then he's just a jealous prick. Grow the ballz and make a move.

 

[mb]

If he's had a crush on her for more than 3 years and hasn't done anything about it, tough sh|t! Especially if she has known that the guy likes her and SHE hasn't done anything about it, then she isn't even intereted in him.

So.. go for her.

With the edit in the OP it definitely seems as though she is NOT interested in that guy at all. Don't even hesitate if to get with her if you are interested.

 

[Koing]

Your friend should be making progress with this girl. If this girl doesn't like him in that way he has to deal with it. He understands right? You have talked to him about it right?

Koing

 

[Vegitto]

Originally posted by: I Saw OJ

Originally posted by: Vegitto

Originally posted by: crt1530
Ask Satan for guidance.

Sorry, it's $66.66 a minute. A little too expensive 😛.

Originally posted by: Inspector Jihad
how about you talk to him about it?

Numerous reasons. She asked me not to tell him, and he'd say that he wouldn't care. I just know it'd kill him inside.

If you know it will eat him up inside, then you might just have to bite the bullet and pass on this girl. If he is a good friend that is.

Edit: Ok who voted "I touch myself at night"? Step up and get your ear twisted!

LOL 😛. I really, really don't know what to do.

If I pick the girl, I lose a friend, but gain someone to love.
If I pick the friend, I lose a girl (forever, of course she'll hold a grudge 😛), and it's quite probable I won't gain anything. But we've been friends since we met, and we've done a lot for each other.

The saying is 'bro's before hoe's', but I'm not sure what he would do if he were me.

 

[Vegitto]

Originally posted by: supafly
If he's had a crush on her for more than 3 years and hasn't done anything about it, tough sh|t! Especially if she has known that the guy likes her and SHE hasn't done anything about it, then she isn't even intereted in him.

So.. go for her.

With the edit in the OP it definitely seems as though she is NOT interested in that guy at all. Don't even hesitate if to get with her if you are interested.

She knows I'm interested, I just asked her to wait until Thursday (when we all meet each other for the last time) for an answer. It's eating me up, inside 🙁.

 

[Inspector Jihad]

Originally posted by: I Saw OJ

Originally posted by: Vegitto

Originally posted by: crt1530
Ask Satan for guidance.

Sorry, it's $66.66 a minute. A little too expensive 😛.

Originally posted by: Inspector Jihad
how about you talk to him about it?

Numerous reasons. She asked me not to tell him, and he'd say that he wouldn't care. I just know it'd kill him inside.

If you know it will eat him up inside, then you might just have to bite the bullet and pass on this girl. If he is a good friend that is.

Edit: Ok who voted "I touch myself at night"? Step up and get your ear twisted!

and i guess if you guys are close he'll tell you the truth and not "I dont care"

 

[Vegitto]

Originally posted by: Inspector Jihad

Originally posted by: I Saw OJ

Originally posted by: Vegitto

Originally posted by: crt1530
Ask Satan for guidance.

Sorry, it's $66.66 a minute. A little too expensive 😛.

Originally posted by: Inspector Jihad
how about you talk to him about it?

Numerous reasons. She asked me not to tell him, and he'd say that he wouldn't care. I just know it'd kill him inside.

If you know it will eat him up inside, then you might just have to bite the bullet and pass on this girl. If he is a good friend that is.

Edit: Ok who voted "I touch myself at night"? Step up and get your ear twisted!

and i guess if you guys are close he'll tell you the truth and not "I dont care"

We're close, but I know he'd say he wouldn't care so he wouldn't spoil it for me. He's a great guy, actually.

 

[Lonyo]

Definately the friend.
Pick the girl, lose the friend, lose the girl probably in the near future, end up with nothing.
Pick the friend, keep the friend, keep the girl as a friend, end up with 2 friends and no losses.

There are other girls, you might not get another best friend.

 

[Vegitto]

Originally posted by: Lonyo
Definately the friend.
Pick the girl, lose the friend, lose the girl probably in the near future, end up with nothing.
Pick the friend, keep the friend, keep the girl as a friend, end up with 2 friends and no losses.

There are other girls, you might not get another best friend.

Maybe you're right. I don't know. More input? Maybe someone's had the same thing happen to them?

 

[mb]

Originally posted by: Vegitto

Originally posted by: supafly
If he's had a crush on her for more than 3 years and hasn't done anything about it, tough sh|t! Especially if she has known that the guy likes her and SHE hasn't done anything about it, then she isn't even intereted in him.

So.. go for her.

With the edit in the OP it definitely seems as though she is NOT interested in that guy at all. Don't even hesitate if to get with her if you are interested.

She knows I'm interested, I just asked her to wait until Thursday (when we all meet each other for the last time) for an answer. It's eating me up, inside 🙁.

Don't worry about it.

Look at it this way:
Guy has had crush on girl for 3+ years.
Girl rejected guy.
Guy still has crush on girl.
Girl still rejects guy.
And the guy still has a crush on the girl.

It's not your fault that your friend doesn't know when to give up, or try harder. He lost out. It doesn't matter if he still has a crush on her, she doesn't have feelings for him. Never has, never will.

She likes you. You seem to like her. End of story. Your friend has no reason to be mad at anybody but himself for holding on to his feelings for her when he keeps getting turned down.

 

[Vegitto]

Originally posted by: supafly

Originally posted by: Vegitto

Originally posted by: supafly
If he's had a crush on her for more than 3 years and hasn't done anything about it, tough sh|t! Especially if she has known that the guy likes her and SHE hasn't done anything about it, then she isn't even intereted in him.

So.. go for her.

With the edit in the OP it definitely seems as though she is NOT interested in that guy at all. Don't even hesitate if to get with her if you are interested.

She knows I'm interested, I just asked her to wait until Thursday (when we all meet each other for the last time) for an answer. It's eating me up, inside 🙁.

Don't worry about it.

Look at it this way:
Guy has had crush on girl for 3+ years.
Girl rejected guy.
Guy still has crush on girl.
Girl still rejects guy.
And the guy still has a crush on the girl.

It's not your fault that your friend doesn't know when to give up, or try harder. He lost out. It doesn't matter if he still has a crush on her, she doesn't have feelings for him. Never has, never will.

She likes you. You seem to like her. End of story. Your friend has no reason to be mad at anybody but himself for holding on to his feelings for her when he keeps getting turned down.

And that's another way to look at it. Whatever I pick, I'm going to end up hurting someone 🙁.

 

[bleeb]

The thing to do is to talk to your buddy and let him know how you feel about the girl and that you'd like to date her. Depending on what his reaction is, you can make your decision.

 

[Vegitto]

Originally posted by: bleeb
The thing to do is to talk to your buddy and let him know how you feel about the girl and that you'd like to date her. Depending on what his reaction is, you can make your decision.

I can guess his reaction miles away. The only problem is, he's going on vacation to Portugal tonight, and I'd have to phone him, and I'd totally ruin his vacation. Also, he'd say:"Dude, go get her. She's hot, man!" and I know he'd just die on the inside.

Yeah, I know, my writing style is suffering under this 🙁.