YAGT: $500 bucks for freedom

[MrDudeMan]

has she tried to talk to you since this all happened? how long ago did that conversation take place and what has happened in the mean time?

 

[qaa541]

Originally posted by: pclstyle
i guess, the most pathetic part of this all is, even when i was giving her the money as an exaggerated "goodbye", part of me was hoping that she might suddenly change, and really appreciate how much i cared about her.

it's taking a very real effort, even now, to keep from calling her with "did you get the money, is everything alright?" The only thing stopping me now is remembering how many times i've been at this point, just a word away from perpetuity, and another away from emancipation. I've chosen wrongly so many times before, I want it to be different this time around.

She's not going to change. At least she's not going to change anytime soon. To me it sounded like you had that whole one sided love thing going on. She won't change for you. She won't change for anybody but herself. That's what I've learned from personal experience.

My girlfriend damn near got herself kicked out of school because she wasn't studying and finding other distracting things to do (ebay, shopping, etc). All this time, I've been telling her to get a hold on things because her roommate got kicked out for the exact same thing. Come the end of the year, her counselors are telling her to withdraw from the quarter so she can stay in school. Now she's realized the deep crap that she's in and she's studying her ass off even though she has withdrawn so that she can do well in summer school. Did she listen to me this entire time? NO. Just goes to show, and I have found through personal experience with other women as well, that they will not change unless things screw up big time.

I also feel that it's no one's place to bail out someone like the eleventy billionth time for the same thing. I mean sure, its alright if they're in a jam or something, but it seems like your s.o. was a compulsive gambler. If I were to make a completely blind guess(since I know nothing of you guys besides your post), it sounds like she only appreciates you for your money. You are in a weird sort of way, encouraging her habit because you are her savior every time she gets in trouble. That's why I said let her deal with it. It's like negative reinforcement of why bad things are bad.

That whole, I turned to gambling because I didnt see you bit was a crock of crap as far as I'm concerned. She could have found some more positive things to do (like come see you). Do yourself a favor, don't call her, just use the ZCP (Zero Contact Plan). Use that $500 on yourself (new computer parts or something). You'll feel 100000x better and you wont be out $500 (which makes me feel eleventy billion times better!).

 

[Alex]

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
But freedom cost a "Buck-o-five".
You got ripped off dude.

hahahahha totally

 

[PeeluckyDuckee]

You did the right thing. You was simply dragging you down with her. No, you didn't have to give her the $500, but you did what was in both your and her interest.

You've bottomed out and nowhere to go except up from here on in. Gawd I've been reading too much pumper posts on investment boards 😛

 

[itsallaboutme]

You did the right thing. $500 to be free of an addict and maintain your own sense of dignity :thumbsup:.

Now it's time to prepare for the oncoming storm ... change your e-mail, phone number and locks before she realizes what has happened, cause you know she'll be back.