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mordantmonkey

Diamond Member
assuming they had broken up more than 3 months ago, and had gone out less than a year...
my friend dated this girl for 8 months. they broke up about 4 months ago. He is still a little fvcked up about it, i think. Like he tries to be cool with her around but can't.
Anyway, we've always kind of had a spark between us, and i broke up with my gf a couple weeks ago.
Long story short, we both got drunk at a pirate party and hooked up. But we both want to see each other again.
I want to tell him, but i'm afraid no good can come of it. guess it's better for him to hear it from me first. i kind of feel like an ass, but also don't feel I really should need his permission either.
 
what? 😕 whats the situation?

edit: nevermind there it is. the poll only has one option. that is pointless. i'm not going to vote.

and i don't care.
 
Assuming he's a pretty good friend, I would always ask first if you're going to be the first new boyfriend after the breakup.

And don't be suprised if he doesn't want to be your friend anymore.
 
He'll always joke you about sloppy seconds and you better hope you are better in the sack. If he nailed her that is.
 
Originally posted by: ironwing
It is in no way up to your friend to give permission. He has no authority in the matter.
Click to expand...

It's about respecting his feelings. If he's still hung up on her and you're going to cause him more pain by going out with her, then you shouldn't do it unless she is worth losing a friend over.
 
updated:
my friend dated this girl for 8 months. they broke up about 4 months ago. He is still a little fvcked up about it, i think. Like he tries to be cool with her around but can't.
Anyway, we've always kind of had a spark between us, and i broke up with my gf a couple weeks ago.
Long story short, we both got drunk at a pirate party and hooked up. But we both want to see each other again.
I want to tell him, but i'm afraid no good can come of it. guess it's better for him to hear it from me first. i kind of feel like an ass, but also don't feel I really should need his permission either.
 
Originally posted by: mordantmonkey
updated:
my friend dated this girl for 8 months. they broke up about 4 months ago. He is still a little fvcked up about it, i think. Like he tries to be cool with her around but can't.
Anyway, we've always kind of had a spark between us, and i broke up with my gf a couple weeks ago.
Long story short, we both got drunk at a pirate party and hooked up. But we both want to see each other again.
I want to tell him, but i'm afraid no good can come of it. guess it's better for him to hear it from me first. i kind of feel like an ass, but also don't feel I really should need his permission either.
Click to expand...

Talk to him out of respect. If he's a decent friend, he won't stand in your way, but you are right to want to tell him before he hears it from someone else.
 
Originally posted by: mordantmonkey
assuming they had broken up more than 3 months ago, and had gone out less than a year...
my friend dated this girl for 8 months. they broke up about 4 months ago. He is still a little fvcked up about it, i think. Like he tries to be cool with her around but can't.
Anyway, we've always kind of had a spark between us, and i broke up with my gf a couple weeks ago.
Long story short, we both got drunk at a pirate party and hooked up. But we both want to see each other again.
I want to tell him, but i'm afraid no good can come of it. guess it's better for him to hear it from me first. i kind of feel like an ass, but also don't feel I really should need his permission either.
Click to expand...

i say go for it.. if it doesn't work it doesn't work. then move on. maybe its the girl of your dreams. who knows.
 
yeah...it's not so much asking his permission...as in letting him know before someone else tells him...and if his friendship is more important than the girl than it's testing the wtaers to see if you're going to lose the friendship over the girl, and you have to judge if that's worth it
 
Be a man and tell your friend.

Then your friend needs to be a man and stuck it up...and not have cow over the situation.
 
Originally posted by: lightpants
What the hell is a pirate party?
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a party where you are encouraged to dress as a pirate, cause well they're just cool like that. They also had a couple kegs for free, a wooden cask of rum being passed around. And occasionally the electricity would get cut out and a group of pirates would come and raid the party, throwing water balloons, smoke bombs(outside of course), and stealing beers.
and people think kansas city is lame... well it is most of the time.
 
First off ages wouldn't hurt here. Helps with the maturity level of all parties involved.
High school/College/Mid 20's/30's all change how this situation could potentiallly be handled.

You say your friend is still messed up about the break up. I take it she broke up with him.
There is a good chance if he is still messed up, that he still has feelings. Which means if
you start going out with her, he is going to be hurt. And my guess is your friendship will
suffer.

Not to say you shouldn't do it. But put yourself in his shoes. If you broke up with a girl that
you had strong feelings for. And a few months later, you still have those feelings and one
of your friends starts hooking up with her. What are you going to think about that friend?


Its not a question of permission. Because asking permission doesn't really make it any better.

You can consider the friendship more important or the potential relationship. Because don't
try to avoid it, if your friend still has feeling for this girl, you think that he is really going to consider
you a friend if you start going out with his ex.


Other things to be considered
Is your friend a serial dater - how many girls has he dated - if the number is low - then if you continue
to see this girl, my guess is your friendship will end.
What do your other friends think? They would know better than anyone in a forum without more knowledge of the situation.

 
Originally posted by: mordantmonkey
assuming they had broken up more than 3 months ago, and had gone out less than a year...
my friend dated this girl for 8 months. they broke up about 4 months ago. He is still a little fvcked up about it, i think. Like he tries to be cool with her around but can't.
Anyway, we've always kind of had a spark between us, and i broke up with my gf a couple weeks ago.
Long story short, we both got drunk at a pirate party and hooked up. But we both want to see each other again.
I want to tell him, but i'm afraid no good can come of it. guess it's better for him to hear it from me first. i kind of feel like an ass, but also don't feel I really should need his permission either.
Click to expand...

Is really all I heard out of that, and therefore I like you!
 
Is your friend dating her? No? Then do whatever you want.

It's liking asking what he wants on a pizza when he's not even around to have any... you can care if you want, but it's really none of his damn business.

As far as should you tell him... go out a few times before you make a big deal out of it. But again, it's not his right to know, it's your privledge to tell him or not tell him.
 
Guy code, dude. No choice. You have to ask his permission first. You don't have to ABIDE by what he tells you, but you have to ask him. If he says you can't see her, just tell him it's too bad because you are.

If he's a man, he'll get over it.
 
This is how I see it.

If your 'friend' is more of an acquaintance, then I see no problem in you dating her. Losing an acquaintance is no big deal.

If your 'friend' is actually a good friend of yours, I'd be hesitant in dating her. Especially if he is one of the better people you have come across. Chances are, I wouldn't.

If your 'friend' is more of a brother-like figure, there is no way I'd date her. I wouldn't want to lose someone that close to me on the POSSIBILITY that things will work out between myself and the girl.

Like I said before, bros before hoes.
 
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