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Wow, the government is a money pit...

P

PaperclipGod

Banned
So, a friend of mine was recently hired by the feds as a census worker. After a week of training (which apparently confused most of his fellow employees), he was given his first assignment. It was supposed to be enough work to last for the entire week. He finished it the first day in under 6 hours. He called his boss -- a Puerto Rican guy who speaks broken english -- and asked for more work. Boss just tells him to go home for the day, and that he'll get paid for the full 8 hours.

That was yesterday.

Today, he gets up, and calls his boss for more work around 8 AM. The boss says he's too busy, but that he'll get back to him when he has a chance. In the meantime, my friend is currently getting paid $15/hr to sit on his couch and watch porn. It's currently 11 AM, and he's called twice more since 8 AM, and the boss is still just as confused and incapable of assigning my friend more work. But don't worry, the boss says, you'll still get paid for your full 8 hours, today!

Apparently the boss told my friend that most of the other new hires are nowhere near being finished, and that most of them are making mistakes in their reports.

Oh, and I forgot to mention -- my buddy gets paid for waking up in the morning. I shit you not. His day officially begins the moment he leaves for work, and it's left up to the employee himself to report how long it takes him to commute each morning. So, if you're on your way to work and get stuck in a traffic jam -- no worries, the government will still pay you!
 
Originally posted by: PaperclipGod
So, a friend of mine was recently hired by the feds as a census worker. After a week of training (which apparently confused most of his fellow employees), he was given his first assignment. It was supposed to be enough work to last for the entire week. He finished it the first day in under 6 hours. He called his boss -- a Puerto Rican guy who speaks broken english -- and asked for more work. Boss just tells him to go home for the day, and that he'll get paid for the full 8 hours.

That was yesterday.

Today, he gets up, and calls his boss for more work around 8 AM. The boss says he's too busy, but that he'll get back to him when he has a chance. In the meantime, my friend is currently getting paid $15/hr to sit on his couch and watch porn. It's currently 11 AM, and he's called twice more since 8 AM, and the boss is still just as confused and incapable of assigning my friend more work. But don't worry, the boss says, you'll still get paid for your full 8 hours, today!

Apparently the boss told my friend that most of the other new hires are nowhere near being finished, and that most of them are making mistakes in their reports.

Oh, and I forgot to mention -- my buddy gets paid for waking up in the morning. I shit you not. His day officially begins the moment he leaves for work, and it's left up to the employee himself to report how long it takes him to commute each morning. So, if you're on your way to work and get stuck in a traffic jam -- no worries, the government will still pay you!
Click to expand...

And if the federal budget were the planet Jupiter, then your friend's paycheck would be a hydrogen atom.

Outrage not found.
 
Where I can I sign for this as a second job. I could probably handle this on top of a full days worth of work.
 
Heh, funny stuff. Are the other employees that incompetent, or is your friend just very good? Crazy that he got it finished so quickly while others are struggling.
 
Originally posted by: dainthomas
Originally posted by: PaperclipGod
So, a friend of mine was recently hired by the feds as a census worker. After a week of training (which apparently confused most of his fellow employees), he was given his first assignment. It was supposed to be enough work to last for the entire week. He finished it the first day in under 6 hours. He called his boss -- a Puerto Rican guy who speaks broken english -- and asked for more work. Boss just tells him to go home for the day, and that he'll get paid for the full 8 hours.

That was yesterday.

Today, he gets up, and calls his boss for more work around 8 AM. The boss says he's too busy, but that he'll get back to him when he has a chance. In the meantime, my friend is currently getting paid $15/hr to sit on his couch and watch porn. It's currently 11 AM, and he's called twice more since 8 AM, and the boss is still just as confused and incapable of assigning my friend more work. But don't worry, the boss says, you'll still get paid for your full 8 hours, today!

Apparently the boss told my friend that most of the other new hires are nowhere near being finished, and that most of them are making mistakes in their reports.

Oh, and I forgot to mention -- my buddy gets paid for waking up in the morning. I shit you not. His day officially begins the moment he leaves for work, and it's left up to the employee himself to report how long it takes him to commute each morning. So, if you're on your way to work and get stuck in a traffic jam -- no worries, the government will still pay you!
Click to expand...

And if the federal budget were the planet Jupiter, then your friend's paycheck would be a hydrogen atom.

Outrage not found.
Click to expand...

No, its still relevant.
 
Originally posted by: frostedflakes
Heh, funny stuff. Are the other employees that incompetent, or is your friend just very good? Crazy that he got it finished so quickly while others are struggling.
Click to expand...

Government employees tend not to be the brightest. 😉

That said, being a bureaucrat must be a very tempting position, my dad had been one early in his youth, but forced himself to leave because while he was very comfortable, he knew he wouldn't be getting anywhere with that kind of salary and he didn't want to be stuck into a rut.
 
I signed up to be a census taker last time around and decided at the training that I had no interest in it and didn't go back. They kept sending me paychecks even though I called and let them know all I had done was the orientation. It doesn't surprise me that they still have no organization.
 
Gee, I once had a job with Verizon as a "contractor". I did the work in a day and a half and spent the rest of the week on my ass.
It happens with all large organizations.
 
Originally posted by: frostedflakes
Heh, funny stuff. Are the other employees that incompetent, or is your friend just very good? Crazy that he got it finished so quickly while others are struggling.
Click to expand...

Other employees sound totally incompetent.

My buddy learned during his training that apparently there were 30,000 people who applied for just 1,350 of these jobs. The people who were accepted cumulatively scored "97% or higher" on the application test. So these folks are supposedly the cream of the crop.

That said, the weeks worth of training was all about how to use a PDA. All they had to learn how to do was turn the thing on, and then when standing in front of a house in their designated census area press a button that records their location via GPS (so the feds have an exact map of the area when the guys who ask residents questions come around later). As if that doesn't sound easy enough, all of that info is abstracted into a GUI on this PDA that prompts things like "now, stand in front of the steps of the house, and click 'OK'!"

However, that rigorous training caused 22% of people who were actually hired to become so flabbergasted that they quit before the first week was over. Remember, these are the people who scored 97%+ on the application test. 29,000 people didn't even make it that far.

BTW, my friend says that (like himself) most of the other people in his group have 4 year degrees.
 
haha that is awesome.

The goverment technically has all the money it wants though. They make the decisions, including paying debts. Who is actually going to force them to pay?
 
Originally posted by: techs
Gee, I once had a job with Verizon as a "contractor". I did the work in a day and a half and spent the rest of the week on my ass.
It happens with all large organizations.
Click to expand...

Aye. A friend of mine works for a bank and works from home 2-3 days a week. By "works" I mean, he wakes up at 8 and 10 to send out an email or two, then goes back to sleep until early afternoon.
 
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