Would you wear a smart condom?

[John Connor]

"A British company has released the first pictures of a ‘smart condom’ which collects very intimate data about the sex life of anyone brave enough to wear it.

The device is called the i.Con and can detect STIs as well as sending data about a sex session straight to the wearer’s smartphone.

British Condoms said its ‘revolutionary wearable tech for the bedroom’ measures the number of calories burned during intercourse, the speed of a man’s thrusts, how long he lasts and even what positions are used."

http://metro.co.uk/2017/11/28/world...rformance-is-red-hot-or-a-total-flop-7116049/


I'd never wear that crap. Bad enough companies know everything about you with your smartphone which is the biggest privacy invading device ever created. I bet the next smart device is the smart toilet that counts the fiber in your shit among other things. Where's the damn privacy? Oh, it's in the "cloud."

 

[BarkingGhostar]

Is it one that self destructs in X amount of minutes?

 

[highland145]

Is it one that self destructs in X amount of minutes?

Better if it yells, "That bitch be crazy." and gives you an electric shock.

 

[BarkingGhostar]

Ooo, maybe that will make you pull out in time.

 

[highland145]

The point being that it's a "smart" condom and knows crazy when your big head's stopped working.

 

[nakedfrog]

Connor, I'm pretty confident no one cares enough about your sexual prowess to bother spying on you via electronic condoms.

 

[tommo123]

i just watched sausage party and had a really nasty image of a talking condom

 

[Darwin333]

The point being that it's a "smart" condom and knows crazy when your big head's stopped working.

Damn right, never stick your dick in crazy!

 

[Darwin333]

Connor, I'm pretty confident no one cares enough about your sexual prowess to bother spying on you via electronic condoms.

Oh I'm sure marketers could find a bunch of ways to use that kind of information.

 

[quikah]

Those pictures in the article do not show a condom, unless they are not showing another piece? It is a c**kring. Seems pretty silly. Whatever floats your boat.

 

[Ancalagon44]

What they need now is to add microtransactions. Pay an extra $10 or there is a 50% chance it develops a hole at the tip.

 

[HomerJS]

By smart do you mean when you get close to bad vag it yells "head for the hills"?

 

[thebestMAX]

Damn right, never stick your dick in crazy!

So pretty much never get laid again.

 

[Darwin333]

So pretty much never get laid again.

There is a very large difference between normal women crazy and batshit woman crazy, the latter is to be avoided at all costs.

 

[highland145]

So pretty much never get laid again.

So Ms Thumb and her sisters left you...WTH? avatar appropriate.

There is a very large difference between normal women crazy and batshit woman crazy, the latter is to be avoided at all costs.

Well the smart rubber should be able to figure that out by monitoring social media and the like. Including sexual harassment complaints, mothers in law, menstruation cycles, coach vs kors, fingerlings, Daddy issues, pet issues, middle child issues, Antonio Banderas issues, etc, etc and issues.

 

[Red Squirrel]

The best part about IoT sex toys is that they are probably as insecure as all other IoT crap, and we'll eventually see headlines on the news like "swarm of internet dildos responsible for DDoS attack that took down power grid. "

 

[John Connor]

The best part about IoT sex toys is that they are probably as insecure as all other IoT crap, and we'll eventually see headlines on the news like "swarm of internet dildos responsible for DDoS attack that took down power grid. "

LOL I was thinking the same thing. You really get screwed over.

 

[John Connor]

Statues update: 100 thrusts per minute.

 

[snoopy7548]

Wait, so it's not actually a condom?

The device still requires you to wear a normal condom at the same time as the smart one

That's like calling a necktie a shirt and saying you still have to wear a shirt when you wear the necktie.

 

[Darwin333]

Well the smart rubber should be able to figure that out by monitoring social media and the like. Including sexual harassment complaints, mothers in law, menstruation cycles, coach vs kors, fingerlings, Daddy issues, pet issues, middle child issues, Antonio Banderas issues, etc, etc and issues.

I agree with everything above and the fact that you know about Coach vs Kors, you poor poor man.

 

[Darwin333]

Statues update: 100 thrusts per minute.

Averaged thrusts per minutes, 4.5 thrusts to completion...

At least you get off though, right?

 

[daveybrat]

I wish i had one of these with the last girl i was with. It would have at least warned me......"Warning Daveybrat, Seafood detected!"

 

[John Connor]

I wish i had one of these with the last girl i was with. It would have at least warned me......"Warning Daveybrat, Seafood detected!"

Ewww....

 

[Red Squirrel]

Statues update: 100 thrusts per minute.

I can see it all getting social media integrated as well.

"New record achieved! Would you like to share this status on your Facebook feed?"

 

[John Connor]

I can see it all getting social media integrated as well.

"New record achieved! Would you like to share this status on your Facebook feed?"

Yep!