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Would you show up on Maury for a paternity test?

dennilfloss

dennilfloss

Past Lifer 1957-2014 In Memoriam
I'd show up but it would be a waste of a test in my case since I've been abstinent for 20 years. Then again, they might re-invite me just for that.:laugh:
 
You know what the difference is between a slut and a whore? A whore has sex with anyone, a slut has sex with everyone but ME . :laugh:
 
Originally posted by: dennilfloss
I'd show up but it would be a waste of a test in my case since I've been abstinent for 20 years. Then again, they might re-invite me just for that.:laugh:
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Yeah, but some of the stuff could have bounced off of your ceiling, or lamp shade, and landed somewhere it shouldn't have. :laugh:

 
yes, so I could do my little dance when Maury reads, "you are NOT the father"


edit to add: Has anyone else ever actually been accused of being the father to a baby by someone you've never even had sex with? Funniest day of my life when my cousin told me that some bitch told her that I was her baby's daddy... I just started laughing while my poor mother got all nervous.. I had to catch my breath before I could even let her know that I had never even stuck it in her.
 
Originally posted by: compuwiz1
Originally posted by: dennilfloss
I'd show up but it would be a waste of a test in my case since I've been abstinent for 20 years. Then again, they might re-invite me just for that.:laugh:
Click to expand...

Yeah, but some of the stuff could have bounced off of your ceiling, or lamp shade, and landed somewhere it shouldn't have. :laugh:
Click to expand...

:shocked:

 
man, I'd love to find out that I knocked up one of the women I had sex with.

can't even describe how much it sucks knowing that you're the last of your lineage.

seems like God wants my family to die off. lol. my grandfather managed to have 4 sons, and of those 4, only one actually had a kid and that kid ended up being gay. /facepalm
 
Originally posted by: loki8481
man, I'd love to find out that I knocked up one of the women I had sex with.

can't even describe how much it sucks knowing that you're the last of your lineage.

seems like God wants my family to die off. lol. my grandfather managed to have 4 sons, and of those 4, only one actually had a kid and that kid ended up being gay. /facepalm
Click to expand...

Become a sperm donor and have hundreds of little halfLokis preserve your genetic lineage while getting paid to jerk off to porn?

 
Originally posted by: dennilfloss
Originally posted by: loki8481
man, I'd love to find out that I knocked up one of the women I had sex with.

can't even describe how much it sucks knowing that you're the last of your lineage.

seems like God wants my family to die off. lol. my grandfather managed to have 4 sons, and of those 4, only one actually had a kid and that kid ended up being gay. /facepalm
Click to expand...

Become a sperm donor and have hundreds of little halfLokis preserve your genetic lineage while getting paid to jerk off to porn?
Click to expand...

they wouldn't have my last name, though
rose.gif


if it was just about the blood, I'd acknowledge the fact that I'm related to my aunt's kids 😛
 
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