Would you beat your kids with a switch?

[John Connor]

With the latest NFL crap with Adrian Peterson. I had posted about it on Facebook and my cousin said something to the effect that all he did was discipline his kid. Well, I said it was child abuse and it's used as corporal punishment. Just look at this shit. http://blacksportsonline.com/home/2...tersons-4-year-old-son-after-switch-spanking/

Well, my uncle's fiancé gave my cousin the thumbs up. I have other issues with this woman and I don't care for her. So I debated about it and got rid of them both on Facebook.

To me it's time out. Take the computer away, iPad, Playstation whatever. You don't beat your son or daughter so bad that it leaves marks FFS. :\

Not sure if this should be in P&N or not. Isn't about politics so no?

 

[Mai72]

Its different now. In the past parents didn't tall to their children. They beat their little behinds when they got out of line. My father beat me with the belt numerous times. Now, it would be considered child abuse and he would have been in trouble.

People are going to say that children have too many rights, and that our society is falling apart because parents can't beat their children anymore. I disagree. The reason we are having issues is because we don't value education, parents are both working, and the poverty rate has increased.

 

[BoomerD]

fuck...hang them up and beat them like pinatas...

 

[John Connor]

I'm going to get a lot of flack here but I think the problem started when you don't say The Pledge Of Allegiance and have prayer in school. We have been turned into a secular society and all the kids are spoiled. My cousin is like 4 years old and she has a very expensive iPad FFS! When I was that young I was lucky to have a few GI Joe's and a cap gun!

Its different now. In the past parents didn't tall to their children. They beat their little behinds when they got out of line. My father beat me with the belt numerous times. Now, it would be considered child abuse and he would have been in trouble.

People are going to say that children have too many rights, and that our society is falling apart because parents can't beat their children anymore. I disagree. The reason we are having issues is because we don't value education, parents are both working, and the poverty rate has increased.

 

[Ackmed]

It's not beating, no matter how many times you say it is. You can discipline your child with a belt, hand or anything else in certain parameters. I do think it's one of the things wrong with today's children. Try to discipline your kid, and some nosy body wants to call the cops. Or the kids themselves. Too many kids control the home by throwing a temper tantrum, or something similar. Kids today will call the cops because their mother took their phone away, and they think that's abuse... Fucking ridiculous.

 

[John Connor]

Yeah, I can agree that there is a line that has to be drawn on getting the damn social services involved for stupid shit like taking a phone away. Then where does the kid go? You hear about it in the news all the time. "Child locked in closet with severe malnutrition."

 

[gooseman]

It's all complete bullshit. That comes nowhere close to constituting child abuse. When I was a child I got my ass whipped with belts, switches and anything else my parents could lay their hands on at the time. I ended up ok, never been in prison or even arrested!!!! I know that may be a complete shock to all the bleeding heart liberals out there but you guys are the ones who fucked up the whole society in the first place!

 

[Capt Caveman]

It's all complete bullshit. That comes nowhere close to constituting child abuse. When I was a child I got my ass whipped with belts, switches and anything else my parents could lay their hands on at the time. I ended up ok, never been in prison or even arrested!!!! I know that may be a complete shock to all the bleeding heart liberals out there but you guys are the ones who fucked up the whole society in the first place!

Lots of liberals in TX where the laws constitute what AP did to his son as child abuse and I always thought TX was a red state. Any time someone blames a liberal or conservative for why something is the way it is now, you know that person is an idiot.

 

[mikeymikec]

Why is the word "switch" being used? Is that what Americans call a branch? But then the article calls it a branch as well... confused.

-edit - Ah, Americanism:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Switch_(corporal_punishment)

IMO it's a bit weird how the article describes the punishment as "troubling" without any reasoning. I don't have kids, but kids are going to get out of 'normal' control (ie. verbal instructions) and so parents need a system that works for them and their kids (as not all parents, kids and circumstances are the same).

For the parent, it shouldn't ever become some sort of revenge, and the child shouldn't get damaged (physical or mental) in the long term. I've no idea how long "the long term" is apart from it shouldn't be permanent; is a cut or bruise fine? Saying "no marks" is flawed as well, as plenty of abusive parents have excelled in doing horrible things to their children but were careful not to leave any lasting visible marks.

I'm going to get a lot of flack here but I think the problem started when you don't say The Pledge Of Allegiance and have prayer in school. We have been turned into a secular society and all the kids are spoiled. My cousin is like 4 years old and she has a very expensive iPad FFS! When I was that young I was lucky to have a few GI Joe's and a cap gun!

Probably because your opinion doesn't make any logical sense.

1 - How does reciting something make children more obedient?

2 - How does society becoming more secular make children less obedient?

3 - While I agree that giving your children everything they want is probably spoiling them, have you considered that it also provides a method of control? Give a child a tablet and you can threaten to take it away, or treat it only as something they get when they've done something you wish to reward them for (e.g. they've done all their chores).

4 - "all the kids are spoiled" - err, right. You've met all of them. No? Then don't make silly exaggerations if you want to be taken seriously.

 

[olds]

My mother favored spatulas and hot wheel tracks.

 

[RelaxTheMind]

Why is the word "switch" being used? Is that what Americans call a branch? But then the article calls it a branch as well... confused.

-edit - Ah, Americanism:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Switch_(corporal_punishment)

...

4 - "all the kids are spoiled" - err, right. You've met all of them. No? Then don't make silly exaggerations if you want to be taken seriously.

was kind of hard to take the rest of your post seriously after the condescending "americanism" remark.

from the dictionary
switch: n. A slender flexible shoot cut from a tree.

A lot of what people perceive as spoiled or disruptive behavior, usually stems from a lack of respect for ones self and others... meaning it doesnt matter how educated you are or what your social status is.

 

[Printer Bandit]

i got beat with words.

 

[AyashiKaibutsu]

Studies have repeatedly shown there's equal or better ways to discipline your kids without all the negative side affects lightly beating them entails. It's a no brainer not to beat them. People see kids that haven't been disciplined at all until it was too late and think that it was a failure of non-violent means.

 

[Raizinman]

The state wants to run your family. Most children don't realize that they have ALL the power in the family. Try not supplying your child with proper clothing or even poor diet foods, or heaven forbid try and spank them. They will have child welfare people all around and up your ass. You will need thousands of dollars to stay out of jail. I saw a case where a child threatened his parents and said a bruise he received during basketball would be blamed on his dad if he didn't buy him an Xbox 360. The dad ended up buying him an Xbox 360. You don't have to accept your child being in charge of your family all at once, you can go to jail for a while and think about first.

 

[sportage]

I do not think beating a child is going to force respect or love for the parent.
Beating any creature, a horse, a child, a dog, is not the way to gain respect.
It may seem the way to gain respect, but that respect gained is not actually respect as it were, that respect gained is only some perverted twisted version of respect.

Sure, my father took the belt to me a few times as a kid, and I not only felt sorry for my dad with lowering himself to such a level, I thought of my dad as more of the child and less of the parent. I really felt sorry he had no clue as to how to handle the situation in an adult manner.

Taking the belt to the kid, for me, is like that parent admitting they have no true clue on how to parent in the first place.
And they have in fact failed at parenting.
Possibly, the parent is more upset with their own failures in parenting than with anything the kid may have done.
People have this tenancy to take out their anger on others for their own short comings.
I truly believe that is the case when any parent beats a child.

It just goes to common sense reasoning that physically beating any creature is simply an act of violence. And it is not good to teach any child or animal that violence is the answer or solution.

My father stopped that sort of violence the one time he was about to take the belt to me for staying out too late with my neighborhood buddies.
Old dad was mad, and took off his belt, and I was pissed that he would think that was the way to deal with this, so I said to my father, "GO AHEAD, MAKE ME BLEED".
My dad stopped in his tracks, put his belt back on, walked away, and never mentioned this again.
It wasn't until years later that my dad told the story and admitted he had to walk away because he almost broke out laughing at himself.
I think my father maybe realized that day he was indeed the child and I was more of a parent. I intellectually won that battle, and he realized that.
No more whippings, never again, after that day.

So if your a kid reading this, and you get in trouble where you are about to get a beating, just look your father/mother in the face and say, "GO AHEAD, MAKE ME BLEED".


Instead, my father discovered other ways to correct us kids.
Grounding, no TV for the week, no playing after school with my friends, and the worse nightmare of all... staying for the entire adult church service after Sunday school.
We lived a block from church, and we were allowed to leave and walk home after Sunday school was over. An hour or two of parent free home time where I could and would play my records full volume in the house on the BIG front-room stereo.
Nothing like spinning that vinyl recording of the Doors LIGHT MY FIRE at full glorious stereophonic volume with no parents in the house. Priceless!

And sitting thru an entire two hour adult church service knowing you missed that opportunity at home, was more punishment than my dad could ever imagine.
Straightened me out!

 

[mikeymikec]

was kind of hard to take the rest of your post seriously after the condescending "americanism" remark.

What did you find condescending about it? And what word would you recommend a non-American English speaker should use to refer to a word that was created and used by Americans?

----

Please note - I'm not a proponent of corporal punishment, I'm inclined to agree that there are probably better methods of disciplining children. I think I'm worried that there's a taboo that's developed in the mainstream around corporal punishment which can be as damaging to society as say widespread corporal punishment without people ever thinking about its effectiveness.

 

[sandorski]

Anything >120v is child abuse

 

[Childs]

Meh, I got the belt or switch when I was a kid. On the rare occasion one after the other. My mom would even say "wait here while I find something to spank you with", and she would look around the house for something to use. She had it worse when she was young. Her father would bitch slap before they called it a bitch slap. Apparently he even used a fly swatter. Thats pretty messed up, cause then you get fly guts on you and still get beat. lol And if you made any kind of mistake, no matter how small, he'd knock you in the forehead with his knuckle. Even when teaching them how to play chess. I still can't beat my uncles at chess.

Anyways, I wasn't scarred or anything, and neither were any of my aunts or uncles. We even laugh about it when reminiscing about when she realized the last couple of years she spanked me I would fake crying. I don't have any kids, but I don't think a slap on the butt or a pinch is going to cause any emotional trauma. Anything more is really just done out of anger, which is crossing the line. The switch might be a little much though. Hurts like hell, and leaves an obvious sign they were hit. For those of you that don't know, it looks like you were hit with a whip. You want to get their attention, not beat them like Kunta Kinte.

 

[JMapleton]

This is a dumb question for this forum. Of course the idiots here will be like, "switch? I'd beat my kids with a red hot piece of rebar!"

Switch? Give me a break. What is it, 1862?

Physical punishment is a last resort for wild and unstable kids. People who cannot control their kids through words and thoughts are intellectually weak, so they use violence.

 

[balloonshark]

Most of the people I know who got the switch were always told to go pick it out themselves. You can bet some serious thought went into what branch you want to be beat with. It was sort of a psychological punishment.

I got spanked as a child. We also got the belt and sometimes they used the wooden spoon or fork. One time we got the fly swatter. We were laughing which pissed her off so she turned the flyswatter around. It had a wire handle which immediately stopped the laughter.

 

[darkswordsman17]

It's all complete bullshit. That comes nowhere close to constituting child abuse. When I was a child I got my ass whipped with belts, switches and anything else my parents could lay their hands on at the time. I ended up ok, never been in prison or even arrested!!!! I know that may be a complete shock to all the bleeding heart liberals out there but you guys are the ones who fucked up the whole society in the first place!

Complete bullshit? He hit him enough that it caused lacerations. If you can't realize that hitting a kid to where it literally cuts his flesh is wrong then sorry but you did not turn out "right" like you think you did.

You know a lot of other people grew up never getting whipped like that and they never got arrested or ended up in prison.

Well at least we know why your logic is so bad.

 

[mmntech]

When I was growing up, my dad would give me a good swat if I was acting like a little asshole. Straightens a kid out real quick.

Punishment has to fit the crime though. If you're using objects, pummeling your kid, or smacking them because you had a bad day, yeah, that's abuse. Any reasonable, logical human being should be able to tell the difference. Though logic is a commodity in short supply these days.

 

[Mixolydian]

Physical discipline only made me behave worse.

 

[Crono]

 

[SlitheryDee]

All the old folks were whipped with switches and they're clearly better than us.

Modern society is awfully schizo on this subject though. The same person often says that we're raising children to be self-entitled pussies and then turns around and says they are against corporal punishment. Can't we see that the two are probably interconnected on some level?

To answer the question: I'm not sure if I would or not. The oldsters who remember their mothers doing that to them often have some very good stories about it. Usually it consists of a long ritual involving sending the child out into the yard to pick the switch they'll be whipped with. Of course the kid finds the shortest, least offensive looking switch they can and returns it to mom. She shakes her head and sends them back out into the yard. Eventually, a switch is selected and she has the child bend over and grab their ankles. 2-3 sharp licks later the whole ordeal is over.

One thing that always struck me about these stories is that the parents milked this experience for all it was worth. Sending the kid to select their own switch is a stroke of genius. It allows the child to worry over the impending whipping for an inordinate amount of time, and at the same time it allows the parent to collect their emotions and ensure that they weren't beating their child in a fit of rage. Then there is the demeaning and defenseless posture the make the kid adopt for the whipping itself. they can't see the strokes coming, so even though they aren't very hard or painful, they still come as a shock to the senses with every lick. The whole process was never really about delivering pain, but about creating an experience that would stick with the child in a way that stern words never could. The whipping itself is by far the least of the punishment. In fact, it comes almost as a relief at the end.

I think corporal punishment should be used very sparingly, but when it is used it should be like what I described above. If you do it too often it loses it's effect. That's why it's all the more important that you make every one count. That's not to say make it hurt more when you deliver the punishment, but make the kid worry about it more and for longer. Do it well enough and you may only have to do it once in their entire childhood.