Would somebody please com to Houston and shoot me in the head, please?

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DevilsAdvocate

Banned
Jul 1, 2000
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I have been working in a "TV lawyer's office," and I can't take the phone calls anymore. We have been running TV ads related to Fen-Phen litigation for the last few weeks, and the people who are calling are just mindnumbingly stupid.

I can't take it anymore.

Please help me. I won't struggle.
 
vi edit

vi edit

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Oct 28, 1999
62,484
8,345
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You're in texas. Try robbing a bank or hitting up a convenience store or something and get shot by a bystander in the process.

At least make it fun :)

[Edit] And as an added bonus, if you pull it off, and get away without being shot, you don't need the job for the $$ any more :D
 
D

DevilsAdvocate

Banned
Jul 1, 2000
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Robbing a bank would solve several of my problems... there is not a bank within walking distance though.

C'mon - help me out. I'll tell you the address. I'm wearing a bright, lime green shirt, and I'm sitting by a window on street level.

I'll insult your ancestry if that is what it takes. ;)
 
CPA

CPA

Elite Member
Nov 19, 2001
30,322
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Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate
I have been working in a "TV lawyer's office," and I can't take the phone calls anymore. We have been running TV ads related to Fen-Phen litigation for the last few weeks, and the people who are calling are just mindnumbingly stupid.

I can't take it anymore.

Please help me. I won't struggle.
Click to expand...


Yeah, I've heard those commercials, don't you give away a free EKG test or something like that? When I heard that, Iwas like wtf!

 
Bignate603

Bignate603

Lifer
Sep 5, 2000
13,897
1
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Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate
I have been working in a "TV lawyer's office," and I can't take the phone calls anymore. We have been running TV ads related to Fen-Phen litigation for the last few weeks, and the people who are calling are just mindnumbingly stupid.

I can't take it anymore.

Please help me. I won't struggle.
Click to expand...

And this is why I avoid jobs where you have to deal with the public...
 
FeathersMcGraw

FeathersMcGraw

Diamond Member
Oct 17, 2001
4,041
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Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate
I can't take it anymore.

Please help me. I won't struggle.
Click to expand...

Send a terrorist threat to your favorite address at whitehouse.gov and a friendly member of the FBI and/or US Armed Forces will be there shortly to help you out.

Have a nice day.
 
D

DevilsAdvocate

Banned
Jul 1, 2000
10,274
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Yeah, I've heard those commercials, don't you give away a free EKG test or something like that? When I heard that, Iwas like wtf!

It is a free echocardiogram. :) I have offered hundreds of them to the marginally literate on the Eastern seaboard for the last week and a half.


I'm Irish. No need for insults, we do well enough on our own

OK... let's do a little role-playing then. You are an Irish peasant (not much of a reach for you), and I'm your feudal English lord who has enslaved your people for centuries. Fight the power. ;)
 
HardcoreRobot

HardcoreRobot

Lifer
Nov 7, 2000
16,403
3
81
I'm on the westside at hwy 6 right now. Going rate is 10k per head. You get the AT discount tho, so thats only 8k + travel expenses. I don't do cleanup either.
 
ElFenix

ElFenix

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Mar 20, 2000
102,407
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my father was almost named in a lawsuit by one of those tv lawyers because the vehicle he sold years ago was involved in a hit and run. the title was never transfered properly and we'd get impound notices and things on it.
 
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Wallydraigle

Banned
Nov 27, 2000
10,754
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Here's some of my ancestry. This picture explains a lot actually. Note their cheerful expressions, especially the kid to the far left. Yes, this is definitely where I get my chipper demeanor from.
 
vi edit

vi edit

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Oct 28, 1999
62,484
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Originally posted by: lirion
Here's some of my ancestry. This picture explains a lot actually. Note their cheerful expressions, especially the kid to the far left. Yes, this is definitely where I get my chipper demeanor from.
Click to expand...

If I had my testicles squashed against my inner thigh due to being forced to wear some derby pants 3 sizes too small for me for a stupid family photo, I'd be less than cheerful too!

 
D

DevilsAdvocate

Banned
Jul 1, 2000
10,274
2
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OK - I'm now convinced that we should sell the following states to the Russians:

North Carolina
South Carolina
West Virginia
Pennsylvania

At a minimum, we should remove their voting rights. Some of these "folks" are frightening.
 
D

DevilsAdvocate

Banned
Jul 1, 2000
10,274
2
0
Mushroom -

Would you consider trades for your services? I have a couple of Athlon XP CPU's - both AGOIA cores ;) I could care less if you clean up. I'm looking for a simple drive by. Drive up, wax my ass, drive off. Simple.

lirion -

I pity you. Your ancestry looks as inbred and sad as mine. :)
 
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Wallydraigle

Banned
Nov 27, 2000
10,754
1
0
Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate
Mushroom -

Would you consider trades for your services? I have a couple of Athlon XP CPU's - both AGOIA cores ;) I could care less if you clean up. I'm looking for a simple drive by. Drive up, wax my ass, drive off. Simple.

lirion -

I pity you. Your ancestry looks as inbred and sad as mine. :)
Click to expand...


They probably knew each other. My people are from Houston and that photo was taken somewhere around there. Maybe your poor inbred ancestors are my poor inbred ancestors;)

 
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