- Jan 3, 2001
- 41,920
- 2,161
- 126
Has anyone else ever had a week this bad?"
Sunday- Making some eggs on our electric stove. Accidentally nudge the knob for one of the front burners. Please a ceramic place on the burner and dump the eggs from the frying pan to the plate. Life plate and the plate EXPLODES AND SENDS SHRAPNEL EVERYWHERE. Explosion give my minor cuts on my face and burns dozens of holes into our new vinal floor.
Monday- Wife's birthday: Make a gourmet mean of broiled grouper in lemon sauce, grilled portabello mushroom and fried corn mellody (OK, so I watch a lot of Emeril). Mother-out-law calls, decides the menu sounds good, and invites herself and the father-out-law over for dinner. I make an emergency run to the store to get more food. I'm in the process of placing the food on plates after rushing to cook everything and my wife's brother and his whole family of locusts comes to the door unannounced. The mother-out-law decides we can't eat in front of them, so she orders cheese pizza for everyone. We eat cheese pizza, $100 worth of food sits uneaten in the kitchen.
Tuesday- Wife goes out with friends for birthday. Her friend gets very drunk and starts calling every guy she sees at the bar "gay". Some guys take offense to this and procede to try to "prove they're not gay." Wife calls at 2:30am for a ride home. I show up and they're getting harrassed by the men. One guy determines that it would be a good idea to sucker punch me to show how manly he is. I double over and the group of guys disappears.
Wednesday- The bank deposits a check into someone else's account. Every single check I wrote for bills bounces. Bank corrects problem, but refuses to pay all of the $25+ returned check fees. I've got a call in with the bank manager.
Thursday- Wife talks it over with her friends and decides she's tired of being married. I appearently do too many of those "leave the cap off the toothpaste" type things (you know what I mean...leave you shoes out, don't use a coaster, put forks in the spoon slots, don't load the dishwasher correctly, etc), and she determines that she'd be much happier living apart.
I'm going to be afraid to wake up Friday!!!
Sunday- Making some eggs on our electric stove. Accidentally nudge the knob for one of the front burners. Please a ceramic place on the burner and dump the eggs from the frying pan to the plate. Life plate and the plate EXPLODES AND SENDS SHRAPNEL EVERYWHERE. Explosion give my minor cuts on my face and burns dozens of holes into our new vinal floor.
Monday- Wife's birthday: Make a gourmet mean of broiled grouper in lemon sauce, grilled portabello mushroom and fried corn mellody (OK, so I watch a lot of Emeril). Mother-out-law calls, decides the menu sounds good, and invites herself and the father-out-law over for dinner. I make an emergency run to the store to get more food. I'm in the process of placing the food on plates after rushing to cook everything and my wife's brother and his whole family of locusts comes to the door unannounced. The mother-out-law decides we can't eat in front of them, so she orders cheese pizza for everyone. We eat cheese pizza, $100 worth of food sits uneaten in the kitchen.
Tuesday- Wife goes out with friends for birthday. Her friend gets very drunk and starts calling every guy she sees at the bar "gay". Some guys take offense to this and procede to try to "prove they're not gay." Wife calls at 2:30am for a ride home. I show up and they're getting harrassed by the men. One guy determines that it would be a good idea to sucker punch me to show how manly he is. I double over and the group of guys disappears.
Wednesday- The bank deposits a check into someone else's account. Every single check I wrote for bills bounces. Bank corrects problem, but refuses to pay all of the $25+ returned check fees. I've got a call in with the bank manager.
Thursday- Wife talks it over with her friends and decides she's tired of being married. I appearently do too many of those "leave the cap off the toothpaste" type things (you know what I mean...leave you shoes out, don't use a coaster, put forks in the spoon slots, don't load the dishwasher correctly, etc), and she determines that she'd be much happier living apart.
I'm going to be afraid to wake up Friday!!!
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