so last night my girlfriend had a bunch of her friends (who all work at our local hooters bar) over and we decided to go down to the hot-tub to hang out--nice.
so we make our way down there at about 11:30 PM, it was pretty quiet except for one guy that looked like he had probably just got done working out in the gym and was relaxing in the hot-tub. we pretty much took it over because there was like 6 of us and one of him. i thought for sure he was going to feel obligated to leave but he stuck around (not that I blame him there were some really nice looking girls there but anyhoo). so we're all talking and having a few drinks and some laughs when this guy abrupty gets out of the hot-tub and starts to jog off almost in a sprint. i think we all thought it was weird but didn't really say anything
SO
i'm feeling pretty good by now and had my head leaned back with my eyes closed listening to the girls talk when I felt something brush up against the underside of my armpit. i remembered there were a few leaves in the tub when we got there so i pushed it away without even glancing. 5 seconds later i hear everyone saying "OH MY GOD" and rushing out of the tub so i open my eyes and see this gigantic piece of human crap floating towards me..which at this point was spinning around in circles, sea-sawing back and forth from all the turbulance from people getting out. i knew it was human feces because i just know what human crap looks like, it was the long sausage link kind.
so i started screaming and backing up and scraped the hell out of my back on the stone in the tub (bad enough to start bleeding) and I guess my movement created wind tunnel or something because it literally SUCKED the crap towards me. at this point i'm climbing out of the tub sideways screaming in a panic looking over at my shoulder at this guys nasty piece of crap chasing me. the most unbelievable part is that I COULDN'T get away. it still touched me foot on the way out.
all i can assume is that this guy took a crap in his gym shorts and ran off like a coward instead of WARNING us "hey i thought it was a fart but it wasn't"
so we make our way down there at about 11:30 PM, it was pretty quiet except for one guy that looked like he had probably just got done working out in the gym and was relaxing in the hot-tub. we pretty much took it over because there was like 6 of us and one of him. i thought for sure he was going to feel obligated to leave but he stuck around (not that I blame him there were some really nice looking girls there but anyhoo). so we're all talking and having a few drinks and some laughs when this guy abrupty gets out of the hot-tub and starts to jog off almost in a sprint. i think we all thought it was weird but didn't really say anything
SO
i'm feeling pretty good by now and had my head leaned back with my eyes closed listening to the girls talk when I felt something brush up against the underside of my armpit. i remembered there were a few leaves in the tub when we got there so i pushed it away without even glancing. 5 seconds later i hear everyone saying "OH MY GOD" and rushing out of the tub so i open my eyes and see this gigantic piece of human crap floating towards me..which at this point was spinning around in circles, sea-sawing back and forth from all the turbulance from people getting out. i knew it was human feces because i just know what human crap looks like, it was the long sausage link kind.
so i started screaming and backing up and scraped the hell out of my back on the stone in the tub (bad enough to start bleeding) and I guess my movement created wind tunnel or something because it literally SUCKED the crap towards me. at this point i'm climbing out of the tub sideways screaming in a panic looking over at my shoulder at this guys nasty piece of crap chasing me. the most unbelievable part is that I COULDN'T get away. it still touched me foot on the way out.
all i can assume is that this guy took a crap in his gym shorts and ran off like a coward instead of WARNING us "hey i thought it was a fart but it wasn't"
