The notice was given pretty late, too late to give proper notice at work.
It is an important wedding though, one of his old childhood friends, and it would be his first. He's a CS major with a summer internship and works long hours, but he'll be calling in sick tomorrow to his job (just started last week).Ah, well, a history of tardiness could throw that off. I had a spell where my boss had a surprise meeting regarding how often I was late (which consisted of 7 times in the span of 3 months, all within 15 minutes of my start-time) where he basically told me that I'd be fired if I didn't show up to work 15 minutes before my shift.
The end result is, now I just call in sick if I'm not going to be able to make it to work on time for whatever reason, heh (which hasn't been that often and I haven't been tardy since).
Ah, well, I would still go if I were you (although maybe not after reading the email your bf replied with )
The end result is, now I just call in sick if I'm not going to be able to make it to work on time for whatever reason, heh (which hasn't been that often and I haven't been tardy since).
Ah, well, I would still go if I were you (although maybe not after reading the email your bf replied with
)This is a tough decision, only you can decide what you are going to do.
There is no "right" or "wrong" decision in this one, both is "right," just go with what you feel more comfortable with.
I would talk to your SO and also try to be honest about it to the boss. I am sure she will appciate the honesty rather than you just calling in sick. Which seems more irresponsible?
There is no "right" or "wrong" decision in this one, both is "right," just go with what you feel more comfortable with.
I would talk to your SO and also try to be honest about it to the boss. I am sure she will appciate the honesty rather than you just calling in sick. Which seems more irresponsible?
his email sounds selfish and childish. he should be cool and understand if he is SO worth having. he should also realize you got the boss email because you were catering to him. dump him, hes immature.
Originally posted by: Dezign
I understand why he's upset... I would be, too.
He should still be more understanding if he didn't give you proper notice, especially if you've been reprimanded by your boss lately (and especially for stuff that benefitted your bf). My gf would rip me a new one for trying to guilt trip her like that.
*sigh* You're right, Dacalo. Unfortunately my boss is gone for the day... I hope my SO forgives me and eventually understands, an I hope I don't regret my decision to go to work and not to the wedding.
If your not going to seriously jam up a co-worker with lots of extra work.............. I say go for it.
Cheers,
Aquaman
Cheers,
Aquaman
If it was really that important to your s/o, then he should've figured all this out long ago. I'm sure it's not the first he's heard of the wedding.
I know he really, really, really wanted me to go to this wedding and experience it with him, especially since it will be his first one. Plus, he really wanted me to meet his childhood friends, who aren't gathered in the same place very often. I would be disappointed as well, although I'm not sure if I'd react in the same way.
We've talked about my situation and I've tried to explain how unfortunately, as adults, we don't always get to do what we want to do because of certain responsibilities. He likes taking the "oh well, what the hell... fvck it, do it... carefree, worry-about-nothing, nothing-is-worth-stressing-over" attitude towards things, when is one thing I admire and like/envy about him (I tend to stress and worry too much, so I guess we kinda balance each other out), but that attitude can also be problematic when things he doesn't like just have to be done. It's something we're working on, and hopefully he'll understand one day.
Originally posted by: Dezign
Hi spidey... unfortunately, I think I do know what the "proper course" is.
My relationship with my boss is good again, and I really appreciate her flexibility when it came to my apartment-hunting. She's been very generous in terms of giving me time for my move, and I don't want to come across as disrespectful/irresponsible/ungrateful. I don't love my job, but I would like a promotion and eventually to leave with a good recommendation.
I just e-mailed my SO to tell him I wouldn't be able to go.
"fine. ill see you monday.
i will be driving by myself for 12-16 hours.
i guess we make different choices and see sh!t differently. you get scared by an email and flake on me. so i got to rough it myself."
The e-mail he's referring to is one in which my boss wrote:
"You've been coming in late on a pretty regular basis. I know that I said it's ok if you're late as long as you call to advise us. That doesn't mean though that you can come in late regurarly as long as you call. You really do need to try to be here on time (give or take a few minutes). It's ok if your late on occasion and I appreciate that you call on such occasions but do try to be here on time as a rule. Also, with lunch....again, it's ok for you to take more time on occasion. When you were moving, no problem to take extra time but under most circumstances, you need to keep it to about an hour. We do all have to attend to personal matters during lunch and that's perfectly acceptable but on the whole, please try to adhere to company policy regarding lunch.
I hope you understand that I'm bringing these matters up in an attempt to help you. I do really want to see you get promotions and decent pay raises (as much as that is possible given the pay raises our company seems inclined to provide). On the whole, you have been improving. I really do believe that you are an extremely bright and capable person who could easily fulfill your responsibilities with a little more attentiveness and I am happy to help you in anyway I am able to that end.
Please feel free to talk to me about any of the above. I'm happy to discuss anything with you."
I understand why he's upset... I would be, too.
wow what a great guy
gives you a guilt trip even though the reprimand you got is mostly his fault, doesnt sound like he has a good work ethic or even feels work is a responsibilty to take serious.
you got to wonder if this is how he is when things dont go his way....how things will work out in the future, he is choosing to drive 26 hours, why is he guilt tripping you when you made a responsible decision that will affect your livelyhood and financial status
so much for the its ok honey i understand see ya monday...
:thumbsup:
Also it doesn't sound very wise of him to call in sick to a job he's only had for a week. That's the kind of thing that I would mention in the interview/hiring process. As casual as I am about calling in sick, I still don't like to do it in the first month or so unless I really am sick.
Geeze, when you put it that way you make it sound like his first lay or car. Maybe he is trying to sound sweet, but to every guy I know a wedding is just free food and a reason to get plastered
We usually fall asleep or pinch ourselves through the ceremonies to stay awake and can't wait for it to be over so we can get out of the stupid dress clothes in the hot weather (it will be pretty warm around this time)..I'm just being realistic
Originally posted by: Mermaidman
I'd choose "life" over job, but instead of calling in sick, I'd explain my need for a day off to the boss. If you're talking about tomorrow, as in June 11, then that's really not fair to the employer
ding ding ding we have a winner !
sounds to me like no planning on you and/or your so's part...
can't imagine this "just came up" especially if he has to be there...
procrastination killed the cat
No, I admire his carefree attitude about things. I wish I didn't stress as much... he stresses very little, if at all.
But you can see where that gets him -- driving 26 hours roundtrip alone to an event that is catered towards couples (and not to mention setting up an early reputation for missing work) instead of flying 2 or 3 hours with his sweetie and introducing her to all of his friends.
The reason people who worry a lot feel like it's excessive is that their worrying gets things done before they become a problem -- people who shrug things off tend to shrug the ramifications of their indifference off as well.
I think his e-mail was written angrily, right after I told him I wouldn't be going. I think he might apologize later, when he isn't as upset and disappointed. He doesn't take my job seriously, and even though I know it's not the best job in the world (legal assistant, lots of paperwork and filing, etc.), it's what's helping pay the bills right now. We've talked about it before, and I hope he respects the fact that even though I may not like what I do, at least for now, I have to do it to survive in this city. His work ethic is improving, and it is something we both know he needs to work on. Just taking life more seriously, I guess... it'd be nice if we could all sip drinks on the beach all day, but financially, we're nowhere near being able to do that right now.
The way you describe it as a "fvck it" attitude, that kind of just translates to irresponsibility.
Originally posted by: DWW
Geeze, when you put it that way you make it sound like his first lay or car. Maybe he is trying to sound sweet, but to every guy I know a wedding is just free food and a reason to get plastered
I'm just being realistic
Hehe... thanks for the insightful "male perpective" on weddings.
The thing is, it's extra important to him because he thinks this is the first and only wedding he'll have the chance to attend before our own (which will probably be in 2-3 years).*sigh*
Thanks again to everyone for the thoughts, comments, and input. I think I'm doing what will be best in the long run, although I do feel bad about having him drive 13-16 hours alone. I'll call him in an attempt to keep him company, and I hope he has a good time.
here's what i would look at:
how much does the plane ticket cost, let this be x
how much does it cost to drive there (gas), let this be y
how much will you gain from the promotion / raise (including benefit of better resume), let this be z
if x-y < z, just buy the plane ticket
how much does the plane ticket cost, let this be x
how much does it cost to drive there (gas), let this be y
how much will you gain from the promotion / raise (including benefit of better resume), let this be z
if x-y < z, just buy the plane ticket
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