I liked the transvestite and blonde ones 😉
Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker, and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book ... It's called:
"Ministers Do More Than Lay People."
My next house will have no kitchen---just vending machines and a large trash can.
The difference between the Pope and your boss is that the Pope only expects you to kiss his RING.
My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!
I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once, the seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it
really chilled her mood.
It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable.
Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
The only thing wrong with a beautiful drive to work is that you still end up at work.
Americans are getting stronger. 50 years ago, you needed a station-wagon to hold $10 worth of groceries. 20 years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Now, a five year-old can do it.
A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, I was relieved when he told
me all I needed was turn-signal fluid."
I'm so depressed... My Dr. refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like
putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.
My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically. I
told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, Will? What will? I'm
making a list of the people I wanna bite."
Teenagers: God's punishment for enjoying sex.
This One is Really Sick Read At You Own Risk
Pearl
=====
Boudreaux was fishing with his wife and it was really
stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat.
When a wave came up and washed his wife overboard.
The Coast Guard searched for days and couldn't find
her, so they sent Boudreaux back home with the promise
that they would notify him as soon as they found
something.
Three weeks went by and finally Boudreaux got a
telegram delivered from the Coast Guard. It read:
"Boudreaux, sorry to inform you, we found your wife
dead at the bottom of the bayou. We hauled her up to
the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster, and
inside it was a pearl worth $50,000.00...please
advise."
So Boudreaux sent a telegram back: "Send me the pearl
and re-bait the trap!"
Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker, and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book ... It's called:
"Ministers Do More Than Lay People."
My next house will have no kitchen---just vending machines and a large trash can.
The difference between the Pope and your boss is that the Pope only expects you to kiss his RING.
My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!
I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once, the seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it
really chilled her mood.
It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable.
Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
The only thing wrong with a beautiful drive to work is that you still end up at work.
Americans are getting stronger. 50 years ago, you needed a station-wagon to hold $10 worth of groceries. 20 years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Now, a five year-old can do it.
A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, I was relieved when he told
me all I needed was turn-signal fluid."
I'm so depressed... My Dr. refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like
putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.
My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically. I
told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, Will? What will? I'm
making a list of the people I wanna bite."
Teenagers: God's punishment for enjoying sex.
This One is Really Sick Read At You Own Risk
Pearl
=====
Boudreaux was fishing with his wife and it was really
stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat.
When a wave came up and washed his wife overboard.
The Coast Guard searched for days and couldn't find
her, so they sent Boudreaux back home with the promise
that they would notify him as soon as they found
something.
Three weeks went by and finally Boudreaux got a
telegram delivered from the Coast Guard. It read:
"Boudreaux, sorry to inform you, we found your wife
dead at the bottom of the bayou. We hauled her up to
the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster, and
inside it was a pearl worth $50,000.00...please
advise."
So Boudreaux sent a telegram back: "Send me the pearl
and re-bait the trap!"
