Women and priorities...

[alm99]

regardless of what you do will be wrong

You talk about it before you get it, its fine with her.

You get it, even though you talked about it, she suddenly didn't realize you were serious and now its un fair.

You don't talk about it, you get it, she finds out by either you telling her or she rides in the car with you. She is now uber pissed, and its unfair.

Regardless of what avenue you take, you're screwed.


Oh, there is the other option you talk, both agree you get $350 to spend, but she spend $500 and its ok, but if you were to spend $150 more, she gets uber pissed.

<---- married

 

[xirtam]

Originally posted by: VBboy
Would you be interested in learning what single people think? 🙂
E.g. adding an option "Not married"

Not married means first option.

I should think about getting something for my car. A friend unplugged my radio for fun a couple years ago and I never bothered messing with anything having to do with car audio since.

But to answer your question... this is one of the things I enjoy about being single.

 

[DeafeningSilence]

Originally posted by: xirtam

Originally posted by: VBboy
Would you be interested in learning what single people think? 🙂
E.g. adding an option "Not married"

Not married means first option.

Very true.

I have a feeling that a lot of guys here are due for a reality check if they ever get married. Myself included. 🙂

 

[Geekbabe]

Money is just money and who makes more of it can and often does change several times over the course of a relationship.My SO is an equal partner in deciding how we spend whatever we have,even if it's me who does the actual earning.There's enough stuff to disagree over without arguing about money,imho.

 

[Lola]

Originally posted by: 3L33T32003

Originally posted by: ActPrincess
dont flame me, but i kinda understand where she is coming from as well as i can see your point of view as well... did you reminder her of what she said earlier abuot being ok with the purchase? and did you remind her of the new car you got her? and, it shouldn't matter how much you make compared to how much she makes...it should be both of yours together. and i am sure she thinks that your car mp3 player is frivilous, but just reiterate that you are in the car more than anywhere else

I did not remind her about the car. That is part of the problem...me being logical just makes it worse 🙁
I only put down the salaries because I was asked.
I was hoping a few more ladies would ring in on this...
And sure single people can give advice too this is a free country LOL.

UPDATE:
She did not talk to me the entire morning. Got up, had bfast, and left for work without even saying goodbye.

Do not really know what the silent treatment is going to prove since my mind is made up and the doggone thing is on it's way to the house.

😱 sounds like my house this morning too. I was the b!tch though. I think that she may be a bit angry or jeleous at the fact that YOU got a bonus. One thing i realized today was that women can be crazy and over exagerate on tons of stuff, the best thing for the men to do is understand we are crazy and try to love us no matter what. When you get home, talk to her about it. YOU bring it up in a nonthreating way...talk softly so she will have to really listen to what you are saying instead of yelling. Maybe comprimise and let her spend 150$ instead of 350$...

I am just tryin to help!🙂

 

[AnyMal]

Spouses do need to discuss finances and set boundaries as well. For example, my wife and I have a joint account that we each contribute to regularly that covers all household expenses. In addition, we have our own accounts. Anything left, we get to spend at our discretion without the need to ask. It would be silly if I wanted to buy her a gift and then having her go through accout statement and bitching at me for spending too much. Same goes for her, if he wants new shoes or whatever she's free to make a purchase without the need for my approval. As a result, we NEVER argue about the money.

 

[bleeb]

Looks like this could involve deeper issues rather than just money. Are you happy in our marriage? Is she happy in the marriage? How long have you two been married? Be honest and truthful with each other, but especially with yourself.

 

[3L33T32003]

Originally posted by: bleeb
Looks like this could involve deeper issues rather than just money. Are you happy in our marriage? Is she happy in the marriage? How long have you two been married? Be honest and truthful with each other, but especially with yourself.

We have been married 18 years and yeah this is not our first fight about $$$.

I am currently working on buying a house (something she does NOT want to do go figure) and am looking more closely at how we spend.

 

[RobDowneyJr]

Originally posted by: hdeck
i can't wait to be married 🙂

my post isnt sarcasm

 

[TomC25]

Dude, get a life and don't be so stingy.

 

[GtPrOjEcTX]

tell her to go earn her own $350 and then she can spend it. geez.

 

[wyvrn]

I think part of the problem is that she makes significantly less money than you, and is probably insecure about it. She probably feels like she has to ask you every time she spends money because she doesn't earn most of it. She probably saw that you were spending some money on yourself and decided it would be a good time to approach you about buying something she has been wanting for awhile. She might not have said what she wanted, but I can guarantee you she has some things in mind. Women are more emotional than guys. Talk to her when you get home. It would help if you offered to let her spend *some* money as a compromise, and it would also be a PERFECT time to layout a budget plan that you both agree on and SIGN on paper.

My wife often feels guilty about spending money (thanks in large part to her parents), even though she is the sole earner in our marriage right now as I go to school. She is really shy about asking for things for herself. We recently spent $300 on her for clothes (business suit, paternity clothes) and that is the most I have ever seen her spend on herself in our ten years knowing each other (other than school related stuff). Now she wants a diamond and emerald bracelet for our anniversary coming up. I am going to get it for her because I am happy she finally feels like she is worth spending her own money on. If it makes her happy, it makes me happy.

 

[gopunk]

i think you let it go once but make sure it doesn't become some kind of habit.... sometimes you should compromise, even if you are right

 

[Gage]

Let her have the money and fast . She is going to pout until you give it to her. Even if she says that she's not mad anymore, deep down she will still be pissed. It is going to eat at her to the point where every time she sees your car she is going to get ill. Women can hold a grudge dude. (I am one.. a married one) Every woman has a secret mental list of why their man is a d*ckhead. Every thing you have ever done that she didn't like is on that list. Even the stuff she forgave you for. Now, when you do something that pisses her off, she adds to the list. Then she starts to think about the list. The longer she thinks about the list the madder she gets. Which is why a woman can seriously break up with a guy after a fight about how to squeeze the toothpaste.

Im not saying shes right! Not by a LONG shot. Just for the sake of harmony let it go.
Next time don't tell her what you bonus is.