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Women and priorities...

3

3L33T32003

Banned
Have been shaking my head all afternoon. I got a nice bonus from work today, and ordered a radio for my car. I have been without one for a couple of months now, after mine died. I got a DEH-P840mp player for 350 shipped from www.6ave.com (MSRP $620 from Pioneer's site). My wife, who is driving a brand new van that I bought for her a few months ago, asks me if it is ok if she "blows" 350 since I got the radio for my car.

I ask her what is broken around the house that needs replacing that is hers. She says she wants to just take the money and blow it on whatever.

Now, I did get a larger bonus than I thought I was gonna get but we had already agreed that we were going to put the difference between what I spend on the car unit and what I got from work into the house fund.

Now she is all pissed off at me because I asked her to spend the money on something practical, something that needs replacing. Of course, right now there is nothing that needs replacing...so she could not get the "joy" of spending 350 bucks on something she does not really need. I said that I would just cancel the order if she thought that it was not necessary, and that just pissed her off even more.

I spend more time in my car than I do at home, since I work on the road doing house calls at night...and not having a radio is terminal.

And yeah, I could have spent less on a radio but it is very hard to find a quality MP3 player that will last for less than what I paid...I buy electronics like I buy everything else...it is gonna last forever...especially if it is going in the car. I am not an upgrade freak and I do not spend money willy-nilly.

Now she is in bed, steaming at me.
/rant off.

Take the poll! Tell me what you would do!
 
I'm not married, but I love the third choice you put in your poll 3L33T32003 😀
 
Originally posted by: 3L33T32003Have been shaking my head all afternoon. I got a nice bonus from work today, and ordered a radio for my car. I have been without one for a couple of months now, after mine died. I got this unit Nice MP3 player for 350 shipped (MSRP $620 from Pioneer's site). My wife, who is driving a brand new van that I bought for her a few months ago, asks me if it is ok if she "blows" 350 since I got the radio for my car.

I ask her what is broken around the house that needs replacing that is hers. She says she wants to just take the money and blow it on whatever.

Now, I did get a larger bonus than I thought I was gonna get but we had already agreed that we were going to put the difference between what I spend on the car unit and what I got from work into the house fund.

Now she is all pissed off at me because I asked her to spend the money on something practical, something that needs replacing. Of course, right now there is nothing that needs replacing...so she could not get the "joy" of spending 350 bucks on something she does not really need. I said that I would just cancel the order if she thought that it was not necessary, and that just pissed her off even more.

I spend more time in my car than I do at home, since I work on the road doing house calls at night...and not having a radio is terminal.

And yeah, I could have spent less on a radio but it is very hard to find a quality MP3 player that will last for less than what I paid...I buy electronics like I buy everything else...it is gonna last forever...especially if it is going in the car. I am not an upgrade freak and I do not spend money willy-nilly.

Now she is in bed, steaming at me.
/rant off.

Take the poll! Tell me what you would do!
Click to expand...

she sounds materialistic, like she can't be happy that you got to buy something and she can't. and it's YOUR money! i might not be an expert on marriage cuz i'm not married, but i do think that it's lame when a spouse 'gets in trouble' for buying something.
 
its your money you spend it on something that was needed. unless she can justify the thing that she is buying she can stuff it IMHO
 
Originally posted by: caramel
on second thought...introduce her to michael d's girlfriend so they can complain together.
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Yes, please do. My ears need a break. My soul needs a rest and my brain needs a break from the pest.
 
I think wives and husbands should make decisions together. However, it sounds like your wife just wants to go on a spending spree. The problem may be that she views your purchase a frivolous, so she wants to spend $350 on something frivolous, too. I would try to explain that your purchase isn't excessive. It is something that you needed to replace. If she still doesn't understand, try to compromise and spend $350 on something useful that you will both enjoy, like some new furniture or something like that.

BTW, I am not married, but I was almost engaged once. My ex and I talked about these sorts of things. Next time, you may want to ask her opinion before buying something large like that.

Ryan
 
Originally posted by: rgwalt
I think wives and husbands should make decisions together. However, it sounds like your wife just wants to go on a spending spree. The problem may be that she views your purchase a frivolous, so she wants to spend $350 on something frivolous, too. I would try to explain that your purchase isn't excessive. It is something that you needed to replace. If she still doesn't understand, try to compromise and spend $350 on something useful that you will both enjoy, like some new furniture or something like that.

BTW, I am not married, but I was almost engaged once. My ex and I talked about these sorts of things. Next time, you may want to ask her opinion before buying something large like that.

Ryan
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Actually, we had talked beforehand about it and she was cool with it. She did not mention buying anything for herself until after I told her I got twice the bonus I was expecting. Suddenly she thought it was ok to just blow 350 bucks...

I make about 7 times her salary btw 68k for me 9 k for her.

 
i dont think comparing salaries would be a valid excuse. i believe she's pissed because you got to spend money on something she views as frivolous. similar to what a $300 video card would look like to her. i guess what she wants is to be able to spend your bonus money..on something for herself..like say a $450 Lv bag that she's been eyeing.

dont feel bad about not letting her spend it on her stuff. you just have to give her expensive gifts every now and then.

i had a girl that had way more money than me...it was quite fun to have a sugar mommy.
 
Originally posted by: cerebusPu
i dont think comparing salaries would be a valid excuse. i believe she's pissed because you got to spend money on something she views as frivolous. similar to what a $300 video card would look like to her. i guess what she wants is to be able to spend your bonus money..on something for herself..like say a $450 Lv bag that she's been eyeing.

dont feel bad about not letting her spend it on her stuff. you just have to give her expensive gifts every now and then.

i had a girl that had way more money than me...it was quite fun to have a sugar mommy.
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I am spending the money to replace something that is broken. There lies the rub, AFAIC; if she had some item, be it luxury or not, that was broken and needed replacing, I would not have a problem. I don't even upgrade the pc until things break...I am currently using a box full of components almost two years old, and I used to build pc's for money.

As far as expensive gifts go...I bought her a new van a few months ago. I could have purchased something used, and a few years old and wrote a check. But instead, at her insistence, I bought exactly the vehicle she wanted. Apparently good will has a shelf life of just a few months around here. 🙁

 
Would you be interested in learning what single people think? 🙂
E.g. adding an option "Not married"
 
And yeah, I could have spent less on a radio but it is very hard to find a quality MP3 player that will last for less than what I paid...I buy electronics like I buy everything else...it is gonna last forever...especially if it is going in the car. I am not an upgrade freak and I do not spend money willy-nilly.
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That is exatly what I do. I only upgrade when it breaks or when something new comes out that *really* makes a difference and its priced well.

I also am not too bothered about spending a bit more moeny on things that I would use more often. When I buy things I like to make it last.

Man no music in the car for a few months would be hard. Definately good purchase for you. I have no reason to why she is complaining dam it!
 
dont flame me, but i kinda understand where she is coming from as well as i can see your point of view as well... did you reminder her of what she said earlier abuot being ok with the purchase? and did you remind her of the new car you got her? and, it shouldn't matter how much you make compared to how much she makes...it should be both of yours together. and i am sure she thinks that your car mp3 player is frivilous, but just reiterate that you are in the car more than anywhere else
 
Originally posted by: ActPrincess
dont flame me, but i kinda understand where she is coming from as well as i can see your point of view as well... did you reminder her of what she said earlier abuot being ok with the purchase? and did you remind her of the new car you got her? and, it shouldn't matter how much you make compared to how much she makes...it should be both of yours together. and i am sure she thinks that your car mp3 player is frivilous, but just reiterate that you are in the car more than anywhere else
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I did not remind her about the car. That is part of the problem...me being logical just makes it worse 🙁
I only put down the salaries because I was asked.
I was hoping a few more ladies would ring in on this...
And sure single people can give advice too this is a free country LOL.

UPDATE:
She did not talk to me the entire morning. Got up, had bfast, and left for work without even saying goodbye.

Do not really know what the silent treatment is going to prove since my mind is made up and the doggone thing is on it's way to the house.
 
Does she know you posted your 'issue' here? She may be even more upset about that. Even thou with the information provided I am on your side (not that it is necessarily the right side) I would be pretty pissed if my gf posted an issue we were having on some forum.

Jon
 
Trophy wife perhaps? All those lashes from the whippings must suck after a while...

Wouldn't you know that your wife would be like that before you married her? I will always spend A LOT of money on stuff for myself, in addition to whatever my SO gets, but will never listen to her questioning my buying decisions or asking for the equivalent amount of money...

yeah yeah yeah, some of you will say "you say that now, just wait"...but don't worry, I know. 🙂
 
Originally posted by: 3L33T32003
Originally posted by: ActPrincess
dont flame me, but i kinda understand where she is coming from as well as i can see your point of view as well... did you reminder her of what she said earlier abuot being ok with the purchase? and did you remind her of the new car you got her? and, it shouldn't matter how much you make compared to how much she makes...it should be both of yours together. and i am sure she thinks that your car mp3 player is frivilous, but just reiterate that you are in the car more than anywhere else
Click to expand...


I did not remind her about the car. That is part of the problem...me being logical just makes it worse 🙁
I only put down the salaries because I was asked.
I was hoping a few more ladies would ring in on this...
And sure single people can give advice too this is a free country LOL.

UPDATE:
She did not talk to me the entire morning. Got up, had bfast, and left for work without even saying goodbye.

Do not really know what the silent treatment is going to prove since my mind is made up and the doggone thing is on it's way to the house.
Click to expand...

You sir will do without some sex for a while until this is resovled (if ever) I mean how long have you been married? Also please don't think you're the "man" of the house.. ever.. even if she makes on 9K a year. You cannot argue with women, they are illogical, selfish, abusive etc... and they ALWAYS win in the end. You sound like a pretty decent husband, who bought his wife a new van (and doesn't rub it in her face) Logically you have every reason to question her intentions in spending $350 as it were no big deal. If she had gotten a $350 bonus from work, then I would not feel envious that she spent the money how she saw fit. Well since you are dog mea...err...married you will have to do without logic and find a compromise (which means she will spend $350 and you will be kicking yourself, pondering how this has happened and how long it will last.) Good luck 😛 😉
 
I'm married, and luckily, have never had this problem before.

I've listened to some of the guys at work use this stupid excuse. "If my wife goes out and spends $200 on shoes, then I get to spend $200 on whatever I want." Does that honestly make sense?

Fortunately, I married a woman who doesn't do this at all. We both make money and are both very responsible with money. We used our income tax refund to replace the money that I spent on a downpayment for new car last summer.

I'm not sure how to tell you this, but I think that you need to talk about finances with your wife. She probably doesn't understand why she can't spend $350 if you are making so much money and this was a bonus to spend.

One of the women that I used to work with at my previous employer used to tell me how much "she loved money". Yet, she always had a bunch of debt. Nice.

I too would like to know how long you've been married, and if you have any kids.

Here is one thing that has worked for me. Since we are both working, we divided up the bills proportionally to our incomes. Let's say that recurring bills (car payment, house payment, utilities, etc.) take up 60% of our income. So, we divided our bills so that 60% of her income is used for paying bills and 60% of my income is used for bills. That way, the money that is left over is money that she earned. Her bonuses are her bonuses and mine are mine. She isn't tempted to blow money because that money is her money. She doesn't try to spend my money.

This works out very well 🙂
 
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