Women and getting their name changed after marriage

[Feldenak]

Originally posted by: sixone

Originally posted by: Ryan
So what you're saying is that she was a strong, independent woman, who didn't want to live in a relationship where there was a power struggle between you two? That's the only reason I can think of not changing one's name.

Can any of you provide a reason, outside of archaic cultural practice, why a woman should change her name when she marries a man?

It's symbolic - just like wearing a wedding ring. Works for some people, not for others.

For someone who's all about personal choice, you sure are disrespectful of those who chose to take their husband's name. :disgust:

He's quite open minded...until you disagree with him.

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: Feldenak

Originally posted by: sixone

Originally posted by: Ryan
So what you're saying is that she was a strong, independent woman, who didn't want to live in a relationship where there was a power struggle between you two? That's the only reason I can think of not changing one's name.

Can any of you provide a reason, outside of archaic cultural practice, why a woman should change her name when she marries a man?

It's symbolic - just like wearing a wedding ring. Works for some people, not for others.

For someone who's all about personal choice, you sure are disrespectful of those who chose to take their husband's name. :disgust:

He's quite open minded...until you disagree with him.

Evidently.

 

[Lola]

Originally posted by: sixone

Originally posted by: Ryan
So what you're saying is that she was a strong, independent woman, who didn't want to live in a relationship where there was a power struggle between you two? That's the only reason I can think of not changing one's name.

Can any of you provide a reason, outside of archaic cultural practice, why a woman should change her name when she marries a man?

It's symbolic - just like wearing a wedding ring. Works for some people, not for others.

For someone who's all about personal choice, you sure are disrespectful of those who chose to take their husband's name. :disgust:

very well said.
It is all about personal choice.
Most women chose to take it as a symbol or their unity and commintment to the marriage.
They are proud to have his last name. I would never think about not taking his last name, but i would never say it is wrong or horrible if someone else wanted to keep their maiden name.
Many wome keep it for professional puroses too, not just for womans lib.

 

[Ryan]

Originally posted by: sixone

Originally posted by: Ryan
So what you're saying is that she was a strong, independent woman, who didn't want to live in a relationship where there was a power struggle between you two? That's the only reason I can think of not changing one's name.

Can any of you provide a reason, outside of archaic cultural practice, why a woman should change her name when she marries a man?

It's symbolic - just like wearing a wedding ring. Works for some people, not for others.

For someone who's all about personal choice, you sure are disrespectful of those who chose to take their husband's name. :disgust:

I was taking aim at the people who said they would never marry a woman who would not take their name. I don't care if all parties agree to it - I have no issue there.

That said - the practice of a woman taking the man's last name does stem from the old practice of ownership in marriage. The same reason the father traditionally hands off the daughter in the wedding ceremony. One only has to look at very traditional cultures to see these practices.

 

[JS80]

Originally posted by: Ryan

Originally posted by: JS80
i will never marry a woman who keeps her last name or does the stupid dash thing

So what you're saying is that you'll never marry a woman who is subservient to you, and one you can't own (she's giving up her name, and taking yours - it's like branding an animal - eh?).

It's an archaic practice, that served no other reason in the past than to confine and limit women, making them objects of ownership.

Yes.

90% of "Strong, independent women" are huge B!TCHes who will divorce you and take your loot and your children. There are the 10% that are independent and strong and make good family oriented wives.

 

[JS80]

Originally posted by: Feldenak

Originally posted by: Ryan

Originally posted by: Feldenak

Originally posted by: Ryan

Originally posted by: JS80
i will never marry a woman who keeps her last name or does the stupid dash thing

So what you're saying is that you'll never marry a woman who is subservient to you, and one you can't own (she's giving up her name, and taking yours - it's like branding an animal - eh?).

It's an archaic practice, that served no other reason in the past than to confine and limit women, making them objects of ownership.

Yeah, my wife is definately subservient to me. Damn her for taking my name!:roll:

If your wife asked you to take her name, what would be your response?

The same thing she'd tell me if I demanded she take mine. Go to hell.

Keep your entry-level sociology and psych classes in the classroom.

rofl :thumbsup:

 

[Ryan]

Originally posted by: JS80

Originally posted by: Ryan

Originally posted by: JS80
i will never marry a woman who keeps her last name or does the stupid dash thing

So what you're saying is that you'll never marry a woman who is subservient to you, and one you can't own (she's giving up her name, and taking yours - it's like branding an animal - eh?).

It's an archaic practice, that served no other reason in the past than to confine and limit women, making them objects of ownership.

Yes.

90% of "Strong, independent women" are huge B!TCHes who will divorce you and take your loot and your children. There are the 10% that are independent and strong and make good family oriented wives.

Great reply - I can now see why you're holding this position in this argument.

 

[SpecialEd]

having the same last name is a symbol of unity. The last name is what identifies a family.

That said, its obiviously a womans choice to take a husbands last name. I would never pressure my wife to take my name, but i'm glad she did

 

[JS80]

Originally posted by: Ryan

Originally posted by: JS80

Originally posted by: Ryan

Originally posted by: JS80
i will never marry a woman who keeps her last name or does the stupid dash thing

So what you're saying is that you'll never marry a woman who is subservient to you, and one you can't own (she's giving up her name, and taking yours - it's like branding an animal - eh?).

It's an archaic practice, that served no other reason in the past than to confine and limit women, making them objects of ownership.

Yes.

90% of "Strong, independent women" are huge B!TCHes who will divorce you and take your loot and your children. There are the 10% that are independent and strong and make good family oriented wives.

Great reply - I can now see why you're holding this position in this argument.

And I can see why you have your views :roll:

 

[Ryan]

Originally posted by: SpecialEd
having the same last name is a symbol of unity. The last name is what identifies a family.

That said, its obiviously a womans choice to take a husbands last name. I would never pressure my wife to take my name, but i'm glad she did

For two people to be united - must they surround themselves with symbols of their unity? That said - what exactly makes it a symbol of unity, if she takes on your name, but you not hers?

 

[dawnbug]

Originally posted by: LolaWiz

Originally posted by: sixone

Originally posted by: Ryan
So what you're saying is that she was a strong, independent woman, who didn't want to live in a relationship where there was a power struggle between you two? That's the only reason I can think of not changing one's name.

Can any of you provide a reason, outside of archaic cultural practice, why a woman should change her name when she marries a man?

It's symbolic - just like wearing a wedding ring. Works for some people, not for others.

For someone who's all about personal choice, you sure are disrespectful of those who chose to take their husband's name. :disgust:

very well said.
It is all about personal choice.
Most women chose to take it as a symbol or their unity and commintment to the marriage.
They are proud to have his last name. I would never think about not taking his last name, but i would never say it is wrong or horrible if someone else wanted to keep their maiden name.
Many wome keep it for professional puroses too, not just for womans lib.

I concur, Lola, with everything you said. I had a TA for one of my discussion sections here at UW-Madison who told us that she would never take her husband's name and looked down upon all women who belittled themselves that way. I didn't really care whether or not she wanted to take her husband's last name (and her argument was interesting), but I was disgusted by her opinion that everyone should do that just because she thought that's what should happen.

I think it's great that women have a choice, but I think it's a nice symbol of the unity of a marriage-- one family with one last name.

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: Ryan
I was taking aim at the people who said they would never marry a woman who would not take their name. I don't care if all parties agree to it - I have no issue there.

That said - the practice of a woman taking the man's last name does stem from the old practice of ownership in marriage. The same reason the father traditionally hands off the daughter in the wedding ceremony. One only has to look at very traditional cultures to see these practices.

The phrase "branding animal" was yours, if you'll read back.

Where the tradition started doesn't matter, or shouldn't, to anyone making that choice now. We're free to do what we want to in that respect, and you're free to call us names for it, too.

 

[Ryan]

Originally posted by: JS80

Originally posted by: Ryan

Originally posted by: JS80

Originally posted by: Ryan

Originally posted by: JS80
i will never marry a woman who keeps her last name or does the stupid dash thing

So what you're saying is that you'll never marry a woman who is subservient to you, and one you can't own (she's giving up her name, and taking yours - it's like branding an animal - eh?).

It's an archaic practice, that served no other reason in the past than to confine and limit women, making them objects of ownership.

Yes.

90% of "Strong, independent women" are huge B!TCHes who will divorce you and take your loot and your children. There are the 10% that are independent and strong and make good family oriented wives.

Great reply - I can now see why you're holding this position in this argument.

And I can see why you have your views :roll:

Why the roll? You've submitted that you wouldn't marry a woman who wouldn't take on your name, and you've also indicated that you have a biased view of women, and believe that those who won't submit to your will are bitches.

 

[Ryan]

Originally posted by: sixone

Originally posted by: Ryan
I was taking aim at the people who said they would never marry a woman who would not take their name. I don't care if all parties agree to it - I have no issue there.

That said - the practice of a woman taking the man's last name does stem from the old practice of ownership in marriage. The same reason the father traditionally hands off the daughter in the wedding ceremony. One only has to look at very traditional cultures to see these practices.

The phrase "branding animal" was yours, if you'll read back.

Where the tradition started doesn't matter, or shouldn't, to anyone making that choice now. We're free to do what we want to in that respect, and you're free to call us names for it, too.

We wouldn't practice traditions, if there wasn't some truth behind it. The origin means everything.

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: Ryan
We wouldn't practice traditions, if there wasn't some truth behind it. The origin means everything.

If that's what it means to you, then that's what it means to you. Don't put your crap on anyone else.

 

[Thraxen]

I vote that for now on we just keep adding hyphenated last names each generation. So several generations from now we'll have people with names like Andrew R. Thomas-Brown-Jones-Wilson-Simpson-McKnight-Hill-Garcia-Berry-Mason. This way no one ever needs to be offended by a someone taking thelast name of someone else in place of their own.

This problem solved by yours truly.

 

[Ryan]

Originally posted by: sixone

Originally posted by: Ryan
We wouldn't practice traditions, if there wasn't some truth behind it. The origin means everything.

If that's what it means to you, then that's what it means to you. Don't put your crap on anyone else.

I'd wish that marriage would always be the joining of two equals, but that simply isn't the case with our society, or the history of western civilization. Ignore it if you want - but the reality won't go away.

 

[Feldenak]

Originally posted by: Ryan

Originally posted by: sixone

Originally posted by: Ryan
I was taking aim at the people who said they would never marry a woman who would not take their name. I don't care if all parties agree to it - I have no issue there.

That said - the practice of a woman taking the man's last name does stem from the old practice of ownership in marriage. The same reason the father traditionally hands off the daughter in the wedding ceremony. One only has to look at very traditional cultures to see these practices.

The phrase "branding animal" was yours, if you'll read back.

Where the tradition started doesn't matter, or shouldn't, to anyone making that choice now. We're free to do what we want to in that respect, and you're free to call us names for it, too.

We wouldn't practice traditions, if there wasn't some truth behind it. The origin means everything.

Why do you care what some women want to do? You're never going to marry one...like I said, keep your entry-level sociology and psych garbage in the classroom.

 

[Thraxen]

For the record, my wife WANTED to take my last name. She couldn't wait to change her name on all her various IDs. I consider us equal.

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: Ryan

Originally posted by: sixone

Originally posted by: Ryan
We wouldn't practice traditions, if there wasn't some truth behind it. The origin means everything.

If that's what it means to you, then that's what it means to you. Don't put your crap on anyone else.

It doesn't mean that to me - I'd wish that marriage would always be the joining of two equals, but that simply isn't the case with our society, or the history of western civilization. Ignore it if you want - but the reality won't go away.

Your reality. Not mine.

 

[Ryan]

Originally posted by: sixone

Originally posted by: Ryan

Originally posted by: sixone

Originally posted by: Ryan
We wouldn't practice traditions, if there wasn't some truth behind it. The origin means everything.

If that's what it means to you, then that's what it means to you. Don't put your crap on anyone else.

It doesn't mean that to me - I'd wish that marriage would always be the joining of two equals, but that simply isn't the case with our society, or the history of western civilization. Ignore it if you want - but the reality won't go away.

Your reality. Not mine.

Ignore it then.

 

[imported_goku]

Originally posted by: snoopdoug1

Originally posted by: goku

Originally posted by: 49erinnc

Originally posted by: JS80
i will never marry a woman who keeps her last name or does the stupid dash thing

My exwife refused to change her last name when we got married. And now that we're divorced, I realize just how much there was to read into something as simple as that. I also found out after the divorce, that the majority of my family and several friends didn't think too highly of her for not taking my name.

She had several personality/character traits that I consider to be very relevant to someone who would refuse to change their name.

It'd be cool if you share with the class son.. That way we can avoid making the same mistake you did..

Look at all you pretending you talk to girls... hahaha!

Talking to women isn't very hard, what *is* hard is getting into their pants. You know you fail at women if when you begin talking about sexual things, they either get uncomfortable or they make it obvious that they're grossed out even over the tiniest things.

 

[waggy]

my opinion on it is the women should take the name. BUT i will not force her into it. but it is going to give me something to think about.

her refusing shows (to me) that she is not committed into the relationship. and from my experience i have seen women that refused to do it the marriage fail. but no way would i force her to.

 

[Ryan]

Originally posted by: waggy
my opinion on it is the women should take the name. BUT i will not force her into it. but it is going to give me something to think about.

her refusing shows (to me) that she is not committed into the relationship. and from my experience i have seen women that refused to do it the marriage fail. but no way would i force her to.

Why is it a sign of non-commitment?

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: Ryan

Originally posted by: waggy
my opinion on it is the women should take the name. BUT i will not force her into it. but it is going to give me something to think about.

her refusing shows (to me) that she is not committed into the relationship. and from my experience i have seen women that refused to do it the marriage fail. but no way would i force her to.

Why is it a sign of non-commitment?

as i said it is my opinion that it is a sign she is not commited to the marriage. its as if she not willing to do everyhting because changing it yet again is a pain etc.