Rant Windows 10 and Windows Update

[mikeymikec]

A customer's laptop is failing to install a particular update repeatedly, same error code every time. Away from a wifi network it knows, I booted it, immediately went into Settings > Windows Update and paused updates for 7 days. Then I connected the wifi, ran sfc, rebooted, and guess what it started doing during the reboot cycle: Windows updates.

Grr.

 

[Torn Mind]

A customer's laptop is failing to install a particular update repeatedly, same error code every time. Away from a wifi network it knows, I booted it, immediately went into Settings > Windows Update and paused updates for 7 days. Then I connected the wifi, ran sfc, rebooted, and guess what it started doing during the reboot cycle: Windows updates.

Grr.

You don't own Windows. Windows owns you. Soon it will be become self-aware.

 

[Micrornd]

When you looked up the error code, what did it indicate??

 

[Kaido]

A customer's laptop is failing to install a particular update repeatedly, same error code every time. Away from a wifi network it knows, I booted it, immediately went into Settings > Windows Update and paused updates for 7 days. Then I connected the wifi, ran sfc, rebooted, and guess what it started doing during the reboot cycle: Windows updates.

Grr.

I have a non-traditional yet effective method for bypassing weird issues like this:

1. Setup VMware with Windows 10 on your IT laptop
2. Install BatchPatch to download Windows updates, WSUS-style
3. Use this procedure to deliver updates to the client's machine: https://batchpatch.com/using-batchp...nments-with-standalone-or-workgroup-computers

I have a 5TB bus-powered drive & use Macrium Reflect to backup their PC first: (plus a USB boot stick containing Macrium PE, which you make in the app)

https://www.amazon.com/Elements-Portable-External-Drive-WDBU6Y0050BBK-WESN/dp/B07X41PWTY

So the basic procedure is:

1. Back up their machine, so that you have a safe copy as a single image file before you mess with their PC
2. Push the Windows updates WSUS-style via your BatchPatch VM

You can either network them with a portable router or just do it over Wi-Fi if you're on the same network. This way you can do a quick clone, then force the updates on the machine, and sometimes that overrides the weird glitches that Win10 gets with updates.

On a tangent, FWIW the free Win7/8 upgrade to Win10 still works. I still do batches of computers every week with this upgrade lol. Although whenever possible, after upgrading & making sure they're licensed for 10, I do the factory reset built into Windows 10 for a fresh install. The latest version does a remarkably good job downloading drivers from the Internet, and also, as another side note, does a great job swapping to different hardware. I used to use Macrium Redeploy when I'd need to move a hard drive to another, different-hardware machine for whatever reason, but Windows 10 does it now in under 30 minutes like magic! I think it was the update before the latest 20H2 cumulative that really polished that feature up.

 

[Red Squirrel]

Windows update has always been a disaster, I don't understand how it sucks so much. It tends to take a stupid long time to even run, and it has a pretty high error rate where updates just for whatever reason will lock up, or error out etc, or in rare cases trash the entire system. I've never had it happen on any of my systems where it trashes the whole install but I've seen it plenty of times on other machines to know it can happen. We have a machine at work that did just that, though part of the issue is the way my workplace does updates, they send these force reboots that basically kills the entire session hard. Like pulling the plug on it. So over time you get corruption. Sometimes the systems lock up during the reboot and sometimes they don't come back at all.

Meanwhile in Linux, you do "yum update" or "apt get upgrade" to update and it rarely causes any issues and usually does not even need a reboot. And that's not even updating just the OS but all the applications too.

 

[Captante]

After an update just the other day I had a half-hour debacle with a black-screen after login.

Ultimately had to restore a backup and delay updates again to fix.

The "old" windows update may have been slow but when it had problems they were nearly always limited to updates not installing, they didn't bork your entire system the way they FREQUENTLY do these days!

 

[WelshBloke]

You don't own Windows. Windows owns you. Soon it will be become self-aware.

If Windows becomes self aware it wouldn't be so much Skynet as a Roomba that's run over your dogs crap and is tracking it all over the carpet.

 

[Captante]

If Windows becomes self aware it wouldn't be so much Skynet as a Roomba that's run over your dogs crap and is tracking it all over the carpet.

Or shorts out and burns your house down!

 

[WelshBloke]

Or shorts out and burns your house down!

After getting frisky and trying to interface inappropriately with your game console.

 

[kage69]

Things have been smoother for me since I told Windows Update to keep it's damn hands off my drivers.

 

[Captante]

Things have been smoother for me since I told Windows Update to keep it's damn hands off my drivers.

Yeah NEVER let any version of Windows update drivers.

Unless of course format and reinstall is your idea of a good time!

 

[nakedfrog]

This reminds me of that period of a year or two when it would decide one of my computers actually had 5 mice installed, and the end result is that my scroll wheel acted as though it was constantly scrolling to the left. I had to occasionally go in and disable the "extra" mice to fix it, and every so often, it would "helpfully" re-enable them. If I just deleted them, it would "kindly" re-install them.

 

[Captante]

This reminds me of that period of a year or two when it would decide one of my computers actually had 5 mice installed, and the end result is that my scroll wheel acted as though it was constantly scrolling to the left. I had to occasionally go in and disable the "extra" mice to fix it, and every so often, it would "helpfully" re-enable them. If I just deleted them, it would "kindly" re-install them.

Weird ... I really do have 3 different mice installed on my primary PC and they all get along fine.

(1) Logitech M510 wireless = normal/web use
(2) Logitech MX518 wired (2020 version) = gaming
(3) Logitech MX710 wireless = office work

Maybe it's because they're all Logitech?

 

[VirtualLarry]

You don't own Windows. Windows owns you. Soon it will be become self-aware.

All these Vaccine shots? First shot, second shot, now they're talking about a third and future shots?

All WindowsUpdate. For your DNA. (BillG conspiracy mode ON)

 

[nakedfrog]

Weird ... I really do have 3 different mice installed on my primary PC and they all get along fine.

(1) Logitech M510 wireless = normal/web use
(2) Logitech MX518 wired (2020 version) = gaming
(3) Logitech MX710 wireless = office work

Maybe it's because they're all Logitech?

I just had the one wireless Logitech Performance MX mouse installed

 

[Captante]

I just had the one wireless Logitech Performance MX mouse installed

I suppose it could simply be lonely and thus adding imaginary friends?

 

[mikeymikec]

When you looked up the error code, what did it indicate??

I haven't looked it up yet, soon I'll stop trying generic tactics to fix it (probably after manually installing the update), but I'm mindful of the fact that the machine is running 1909 so maybe I should leapfrog the issue entirely and do the feature update.

 

[Captante]

I haven't looked it up yet, soon I'll stop trying generic tactics to fix it (probably after manually installing the update), but I'm mindful of the fact that the machine is running 1909 so maybe I should leapfrog the issue entirely and do the feature update.

Just be sure you make a restore point AND backup your data first!

(also don't leave anything you care about on the desktop)

 

[Torn Mind]

If Windows becomes self aware it wouldn't be so much Skynet as a Roomba that's run over your dogs crap and is tracking it all over the carpet.

It would start with the obvious. Cortana develops phone porn mode called Porntana. Middle-aged and old men get seduced with microtransactions for sexual conversation and companionship.

 

[Captante]

It would start with the obvious. Cortana develops phone porn mode called Porntana. Middle-aged and old men get seduced with microtransactions for sexual conversation and companionship.

 

[mikeymikec]

The generic fix routine did it. I suspect either the disk cleanup of windows update stuff or the manual install did the trick.

 

[mikeymikec]

Another customer just experienced this one:

Another Windows 10 patch that breaks printers ups ante to full-on Blue Screen of Death

Microsoft's rigorous testing at work

www.theregister.com

 

[BarkingGhostar]

I thought that was funny. Go, Windoze, Go

 

[Kaido]

Another customer just experienced this one:

Another Windows 10 patch that breaks printers ups ante to full-on Blue Screen of Death

Microsoft's rigorous testing at work

www.theregister.com

I've been dealing with that this week. If you're using a Microsoft app like Word, simply selecting the offending printer will cause an instant BSOD. In other programs, you can select it but once you hit print it BSOD's. KB5000802 & KB5000808 need to be removed as admin, the Windows Update system needs to be snoozed for a week so the updates don't sneak back in (had that happen lol), and the machine has to reboot. It looks like Microsoft is issuing an emergency patch by Monday EOD. I have test machines at all of the sites I service for doing initial update testing for WSUS & have never had to add "test printing for bluescreens" to my checklist before in 15+ years in IT hahahaha!

 

[mnewsham]

Frankly, i've stopped trying to fix windows. If it throws me the same error more than once? Just download the most updated ISO and reinstall fresh. With 1gbps internet and a decently quick flash drive, it really only takes 20-30 minutes at this point.