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Will the catholic church wed an atheist & a catholic?

D

djs1w

Senior member
Hence the situation between my girlfriend (catholic) and myself (atheist). She said that if we were to get married that we would have to go talk to the priest and he would have to know I'm an atheist. Curious as to what his reaction might be. I know it would probably be different depending on the pastor, but just looking for general input. I would see the marriage as a joining of vows in front of my friends & family, where she would see it as friends/family/God. Thoughts?

[EDIT]

Thanks all for the replies. I was somewhat worried that we would outcasted and she/we wouldn't be able to get married in her church, she would truely be devistated. But from the looks of things we'll be ok, when I decide to pop the question 😀
 
yeah they will, just gotta pay the right price. its a bullshyt religion. They did that to my mom and dad - shes catholic, he was baptist and they said they could marry for a separate fee :disgust:
 
from http://www.vatican.va/archive/catechism/p2s2c3a7.htm



<< Mixed marriages and disparity of cult

1633 In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a nonbaptized person) requires even greater circumspection.

1634 Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.

1635 According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.135 In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.136 This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.137

1636 Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple's obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.

1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."138 It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith.139 Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.
 >>

 


<< yeah they will, just gotta pay the right price. its a bullshyt religion. They did that to my mom and dad - shes catholic, he was baptist and they said they could marry for a separate fee :disgust: >>



GEEEee. hahahaha. what a fvcking joke the whole organized religion crap is. so it is ALL ABOUT THE MONEY AFTER ALL.
 
Well, from my past experiences with Priests, they're quite reasonable people. Not at all like the door-to-door guys. Of course, there are always exceptions. I'm not sure what the official law of the church is but I'm sure if you know the guy somewhat, he's willing to make exceptions. These are people just like with any other organization, not total fanatics (most of them aren't anyway).
 
Yes, you should be able to marry in the Catholic Church without issue, but you may need a "dispensation" from the bishop (should be no problem).

Non-Catholics are no longer required to make vows with regard to raising future children as Catholics. The Catholic partner must do so, however, but the non-Catholic need only be informed of the Catholic's obligation and does not have to make the same promise outright.

There should be no fee for the sacrament of marriage per se, though a small stipend is traditional. Where you are likely to incrue fees or expectations thereof is for the civil marriage license, if some sort of pre-marriage workshop is required, or if you employ a pianist supplied by the parish, for example. This will vary from parish to parish.

Speak with the local parish priest for more info.
 
i think they make you go through consoling no matter what since churches are trying to lower the divorce ratE😛


look on the brightside, if she were jewish you'd have to get circumsized🙂
 
um.... why can't you just pretend you're catholic? 😕

i can never understand why stuff like this is a problem... just pretend for one day and be happy!
 
"um.... why can't you just pretend you're catholic?"

hehe.. that's a good idea. From now on, I'm a Catholic.
I still don't know why they ask ppl have their children Baptized when they just were borned. Children have no idea what the hell is going on at that time. When they grow up, if they decide to change religion, they will be told that it's a biggest sin. That's bs.

I'm respect religion but when only they let us make a choice. Not forcing us. Until then, I'm a happy atheist who occasionally goes to church.
 


<< Yes, you should be able to marry in the Catholic Church without issue, but you may need a "dispensation" from the bishop (should be no problem).

Non-Catholics are no longer required to make vows with regard to raising future children as Catholics. The Catholic partner must do so, however, but the non-Catholic need only be informed of the Catholic's obligation and does not have to make the same promise outright.

There should be no fee for the sacrament of marriage per se, though a small stipend is traditional. Where you are likely to incrue fees or expectations thereof is for the civil marriage license, if some sort of pre-marriage workshop is required, or if you employ a pianist supplied by the parish, for example. This will vary from parish to parish.

Speak with the local parish priest for more info. >>



The BIG questions is:

Are you willing to permit your bride to be to raise the children as she is obliged to do?

A word of caution. Study the divisions among families of opposite faith. It's not very encouraging. Your bride to be has faith, and you have no faith. If you're a true atheist, you'll be attacking her faith in God and religion, just like some in this thread have done. I can't see how that will create a family relationship.

Michael
 


<< um.... why can't you just pretend you're catholic? 😕

i can never understand why stuff like this is a problem... just pretend for one day and be happy! >>



One day? Marriage is forever, not one day!

What a sad commentary you offer.

Michael
 


<< um.... why can't you just pretend you're catholic? 😕 >>



It's not a problem for me. She already said she wants to priest to know. Besides, even if she were to say ok to me pretending, I don't think I would want to put up a false front like that, even if it were to make things easier.



<< Are you willing to permit your bride to be to raise the children as she is obliged to do? >>



I don't see myself having a problem with it. I was raised christian and I turned out alright 🙂 but it would be clear that if the kids asked me why I didn't go to church I would tell them, if the time were right.
 
Yeah the Catholic Church will marry you. Your girlfriend will have to promise to do her best to raise your children as Catholics. As for the priest reactions....that all depends on the priest. Priest are just ppl too 🙂
 
djs1w:

Yes, you can marry her in the Catholic Church, as long as you are free to marry. My parents, brother, and sister are all in Catholic & Atheist marriages. 🙂

You should be willing to let your wife raise the kids Catholic, as many have mentioned, and you will both need to attend a marriage preparation class. These classes are just to help you both avoid problems in marriage, and to make sure you both are serious and prepared.

Ask me if you have any other questions. 🙂



<< yeah they will, just gotta pay the right price. its a bullshyt religion. They did that to my mom and dad - shes catholic, he was baptist and they said they could marry for a separate fee >>



Complete BS - IF some priest did this he deliberately disobeyed the Church and was totally wrong. Church LAW is that there are no fees for any Church service, especially the sacraments. All income to the Church is purely voluntary.

However, I made a donation to the Church my wife and I were married in as a token of appreciation. Voluntary, but a good thing that I wanted to do.
 


<< Complete BS - IF some priest did this he deliberately disobeyed the Church and was totally wrong. Church LAW is that there are no fees for any Church service, especially the sacraments. All income to the Church is purely voluntary. >>


YA reason Jzero isn't Catholic.
This may be true, and if it is, then it's just as bad that there are countless "maverick" clergymen out there who are running things "their" way. As in the case of my aunt who was "married" by the RC church and subsequently divorced her violent and abusive husband.
When she went to get married again, the RC churches in the area refused to marry her unless she was granted an annullment. The annullment was free--IF she contacted the ex-husband.
But if she wants to get the annullment without contacting the ex (which she does not b/c she's essentially been in hiding from him since their divorce was finalized for fear what he might do), then she has to pay a fee. It was quite hefty, too. A few thousand dollars.

Sadly, like an abused dog or a battered wife, she continues to crawl back to the church, despite the fact that the church considers her to be outcast and will only allow her husband to participate in their child's Catholic education....

Well, that was way off-topic. Bottom line is the church will let you get married.
 
One day? Marriage is forever, not one day!
What a sad commentary you offer.

you're marrying your wife, not the priest.
 


<< and you will both need to attend a marriage preparation class. These classes are just to help you both avoid problems in marriage, and to make sure you both are serious and prepared. >>



This makes me almost as mad as the whole "Gay Adoption" thing. OKAY let's see here; a dweeby man, who has most prolly never "experienced" a woman, nor had any experience with dating or living together is going to tell myself and my future bride how to have a sucessfull marriage and avoid problems, all with the help of God, of course?

Bwuaahahahahahahahaah! 😛

I am a former Catholic. Thirteen miserable years of Catholic schools (Sister MaryViscious, Principal) This just makes me laugh uncontrollably.

When and if I do get married, I'd like to get married in a non-denominational church, by a man who is actually married himself. That, I can respect...not some "celibate" child molester who thinks he knows more about life than I do.
 
I'll preface this post with a quote I read recently that is VERY true:

"No more than 100 people in the world hate the Catholic Church... the rest hate what they think the Church is."


Jzero:

I know - it is incredibly sad to me that so many priests disobey the Church's teachings. Its always been like that in any large organization.

MichaelD:



<< This makes me almost as mad as the whole "Gay Adoption" thing. >>


Not sure I follow the comparison...


<< OKAY let's see here; a dweeby man, who has most prolly never "experienced" a woman, nor had any experience with dating or living together is going to tell myself and my future bride how to have a sucessfull marriage and avoid problems, all with the help of God, of course? >>


No - a priest is trained to also be a marriage counsellor. He will lead a class where the material is prepared by marriage counsellors, married people, and priests as well.

Do all professional Marriage counsellors have to be married to be taken seriously? What about ones who are divorced - do they need to find another line of work?

Priests help counsel thousands of marriages - as they have proper, professional training to do. But they do not pretend to be professional counsellors - they are rather spiritual counsellors in respect to a couple's comitment before God.


<< I am a former Catholic. Thirteen miserable years of Catholic schools (Sister MaryViscious, Principal) This just makes me laugh uncontrollably. >>


I'm not surprised you are a former Catholic. In my experience, the people most angry at the Church are the ones who have left it - almost always because of how Catholic leaders (priests, nuns, teachers, etc) treated them in the past - not because of theological differences, really.

I will repeat here what I have said a million times:

The behavior of individual members of a group/belief, when they behave in a manner contrary to the teachings and rules of the group, do NOT represent the group or its teachings/beliefs.

I'm not trying to convince you to be Catholic or even like us - just if you are going to hate us, hate us for what we believe and profess, not what some bad individuals did.


<< When and if I do get married, I'd like to get married in a non-denominational church, by a man who is actually married himself. That, I can respect...not some "celibate" child molester who thinks he knows more about life than I do. >>



Again - same as above. BTW, did you know that the percentage of priests who are child molestors is much smaller than the percentage of the general public? We just hear about the priests because A) It is such a violation of a trusted position, and B) Some Church leaders did a lousy job of dealing with it for years.

Priests are not Child Molestors, any more than any other group is... less, in fact.
 
Well, actually, Optimus, I dislike the Catholic church for it's views/stance on life, marriage, sex, birth control as well as the need for it's priests and nuns to be controlling, child abusing, parent-scolding authoritarians.

I left "the fold" b/c I got older and saw that there was a whole world out there. Not just the world that was defined for me by the priests and nuns that controlled my life as well as controlled my parents, to some extent. Heck, they are still extorting money from my elderly mother, who is too blind to see that her weekly "tithes" are neither needed nor appreciated.

Freedom of religion is a beautiful thing that we have here in the U.S.A. I'll not debate you (or anyone else) further on this issue. Personally, I think the Catholic religion is a crock. YMMV. 🙂
 
Fair enough Michael. I just try to present both sides' views to readers of the thread. 🙂

BTW, what does YMMV stand for?
 


<< "No more than 100 people in the world hate the Catholic Church... the rest hate what they think the Church is." >>

Interesting....


I just have to ask a question djs1w. Are you Atheist or Agnostic? If you are honestly Atheist (that is a firm believe that Gods do not exist), how well do you really think you will survive with a Catholic wife?

I realize you probably love her, but you're looking at spending a long long time together (at least I hope you are....people that rush into marriage and get divorced 2 years later "make baby jesus cry" (simpson's quote, I'm not trying to make fun of anyone or anything here))...consider what impact that will have.

Just consider what a diametrically opposed view of the world you have (assuming you are actually an Atheist and not just saying it)...

Maybe you have thought about it, and you guys feel you can live with it, in which case I'm happy for you 🙂

But you should think about that...it may not be the best family atmosphere.


I'm just telling you what I think....I wouldn't mark myself down as 100% Atheist....I feel that it's very unlikely there is a God, but since I don't know exactly where I look to find his "house", I'm not willing to commit myself 100% to that view. But I'm leaning far enough into the Atheist realm that I really don't think I would choose to marry a religious woman.
Even if I felt strongly attracted to her...maybe even felt I loved her...it would become a problem later in life...and I don't think I could go through with it.

Please remember this is JMO and maybe you've thought this out and decided you can live with it no problems....I've always been far to analytical and not emotional enough for these sorts of things.
 
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