I don't put up with the controlling attitude. My ex-wife pulled something similar, except it was with divorce papers. She realized her mistake when I went down and signed them the next day. Stupid woman. Good ridance. I say leave her. Who needs a woman who constantly holds things over you that happened 6 years ago.
You could always pull the famous "Hey, I'm the breadwinner. I pay the house payment, so it's my house. You leave."
Let us know how that one goes over...
Let us know how that one goes over...
you need to walk out the door and see what happens...last thign u want to do right now is get her a house
Siddhartha
Lifer
- Oct 17, 1999
- 12,505
- 3
- 81
Beat her. Then beat her some more, then beat her again. After that, beat her, keep beating her. Grab a beer. Resume beating her. When you've finished that, beat her. Beat her harder... take a break... then beat her again... You have to make up for all the days you didn't do this, so get to work.
Forget the counseling. Just leave before you buy anything.
Leave now, get the divorce papers finalized before buying yourself a house.
The problem with marriage is that once you sign those papers, you've given up half of what ever you have. Not only that, she can now deprive you of s3x, cheat on you (for some, its with your best friend), and act like a queen. If you divorce her, she can try to take everything. She'll get at least half.
What do you get from being married? Nothing you can't get from just living with her. They're nicest to you when they're waiting for you to pop the question. After you sign the papers, all that goes away.
Leave now, get the divorce papers finalized before buying yourself a house.
The problem with marriage is that once you sign those papers, you've given up half of what ever you have. Not only that, she can now deprive you of s3x, cheat on you (for some, its with your best friend), and act like a queen. If you divorce her, she can try to take everything. She'll get at least half.
What do you get from being married? Nothing you can't get from just living with her. They're nicest to you when they're waiting for you to pop the question. After you sign the papers, all that goes away.
SaigonK, you better not quit on me. If you quit on me, I'll kick your *bum* real hard.
See, your wife is in control because you let her be in control. There's nothing wrong with that, except when you let her have control but get upset or are dissatisfied about it. Frankly, I don't think that there's such thing as a successful 50/50 relationship in the sense that people speak of. Those are usually the rocky relationships. Someone has to be in control of one aspect whilst the other person is in charge of other things. Either you take charge or you let your wife take charge without getting in her way.
Stop fighting her. If she's taken charge, let her have it. There are kids in the pictures, so fighting to win is no longer an option. Please don't quit on me. I'm all set to give you a kick if you do . . . so don't. Keep ranting. We'll all listen to you. Now, take a deep breath. Relax. Don't ever walk out of that door without making so much efforts and thinking of the interest of those children.
Hope you and your wife settle for who's in charge. I would frankly suggest that it's too late to fight for power. But if you insist, then fight like a real man once and for all so she knows who's in charge. I don't mean you should touch her physically. Your behind will be in jail if you did that. I mean fight like a real man in decision making.
Best of luck to you two and your kids.
See, your wife is in control because you let her be in control. There's nothing wrong with that, except when you let her have control but get upset or are dissatisfied about it. Frankly, I don't think that there's such thing as a successful 50/50 relationship in the sense that people speak of. Those are usually the rocky relationships. Someone has to be in control of one aspect whilst the other person is in charge of other things. Either you take charge or you let your wife take charge without getting in her way.
Stop fighting her. If she's taken charge, let her have it. There are kids in the pictures, so fighting to win is no longer an option. Please don't quit on me. I'm all set to give you a kick if you do . . . so don't. Keep ranting. We'll all listen to you. Now, take a deep breath. Relax. Don't ever walk out of that door without making so much efforts and thinking of the interest of those children.
Hope you and your wife settle for who's in charge. I would frankly suggest that it's too late to fight for power. But if you insist, then fight like a real man once and for all so she knows who's in charge. I don't mean you should touch her physically. Your behind will be in jail if you did that. I mean fight like a real man in decision making.
Best of luck to you two and your kids.
Go see a counselor. Seriously. If you don't really want to end it with her, if you feel there is a future with her, get someone to help you guys out. If you see no future, then do yourselves a favor and end it.
Originally posted by: Skoorb
Oh BTW next time she's annoying you tell her she's acting like your mother. Women love that
LMAO. My advice? Next time she says "there's the door", use it.
Geekbabe
Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Since you've decided to air your personal laundry here I gotta tell you that I can't advise without the whole story,what exactly was the "spot of trouble"?
This doesn't surprise me coming from a woman.
If being in charge means you insult your spouse than you should go somewhere else. Nobody should have to put up with insults.
Power struggle? Hardly. His wife is just insecure and unhappy. She thought being married and having kids would make her happy, but it doesn't. She continues to find flaws and him and will do so for eternity. She thinks having a new house will make her happy, but it won't either. Nothing will.
What exactly did you do when she said this? Just stared at the hand pointing to the door and pretending you didn't hear it?
Geekbabe
Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Something tells me we're getting that part of the story with some significant details omitted.There's few
psycho;s around sure but nobody holds a grudge for 6 yrs over things that were trival non-events.
Nothing significant, I think she feels that because we had a rough spot and she doesnt feel it was her fault that i should be complacent and bend to her whim.
It takes two to tango and she has faults like everyone else does..she just doesnt want to admit to them and trys to turn it on me.
It takes two to tango and she has faults like everyone else does..she just doesnt want to admit to them and trys to turn it on me.
Well, like everyone said, you have to take a stand and give her an ultimatium right back: that she can't keep giving *you* one.
If all you really did was not pay attention to her, she left, and you asked for her back, of course he'll always hold it against you. The problem here is how "big" you let that become, but behaving guilty every time she brings it up. If you're not like that anymore, you need to point that out and make sure she understands. If there are bigger problems... it is sad you have kids, but don't "stay together for the kids". You can still be a part of their life, while not married to her.
People have suggested seeing someone, and that might be the way to go. Don't let her keep saying that, and you not doing anything though.
If all you really did was not pay attention to her, she left, and you asked for her back, of course he'll always hold it against you. The problem here is how "big" you let that become, but behaving guilty every time she brings it up. If you're not like that anymore, you need to point that out and make sure she understands. If there are bigger problems... it is sad you have kids, but don't "stay together for the kids". You can still be a part of their life, while not married to her.
People have suggested seeing someone, and that might be the way to go. Don't let her keep saying that, and you not doing anything though.
you should leave and be with someone you get along with, who respects you, and is nice to you.
but if you want to stick it out then maybe have her make a list of things she is unhappy with and you do the same. then you can discuss the things on the list.
Thats what I would do anyway.
but if you want to stick it out then maybe have her make a list of things she is unhappy with and you do the same. then you can discuss the things on the list.
Thats what I would do anyway.
Chess
Golden Member
- Mar 5, 2001
- 1,452
- 7
- 81
Whats the quote: someone can find it for me because this isnt the right saying but
its true love if you set it free and it comes back, sounds like she is treating you like sh*t, i use to be like that with my ex g/f of 3 years until she pulled the nice cut my balls off and cheated on me with my best friend! and guess what they got engaged 3 weeks ago
its true love if you set it free and it comes back, sounds like she is treating you like sh*t, i use to be like that with my ex g/f of 3 years until she pulled the nice cut my balls off and cheated on me with my best friend! and guess what they got engaged 3 weeks ago
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