Frogger~
I would be angry too... I think that the communication should be between you and your wife...
I would be angry too... I think that the communication should be between you and your wife...
Sorry that things aren't working out right now. Hopefully that will change in the future and you'll be content with whatever way you decide to proceed.
I just want to encourage you big guy. This is the thing I feared the most when said he lived so close. Well you do what you have to do. What you feel is best. Hopefully something good will come out of all of this. Good luck
Corn
Diamond Member
- Nov 12, 1999
- 6,390
- 29
- 91
All I can say is that it appears that frogger is a real man. Sticking with a cheating spouse for the sake of the kids only shows the kind of man that you are.
Payback is a beyotch, and hopefully your wife will realize (before the kids hit 18 years old) just what she is losing. Did her "innocent fling" warn her of his sexually transmitted disease? Did he spend the money from the "shared" account on your wife or her children? The anwsers are obviously "no". For her sake she had better wake up and be grateful that you don't treat her in the same way that her "fling" treated her.......
You're doing the right thing frogger, sometimes the "right thing" is the hardest thing to do, but the kids are definately worth the sacrifice. Every ounce of suffering that you are going through right now will be repaid by their love and respect for you in spades--bank on it.
Payback is a beyotch, and hopefully your wife will realize (before the kids hit 18 years old) just what she is losing. Did her "innocent fling" warn her of his sexually transmitted disease? Did he spend the money from the "shared" account on your wife or her children? The anwsers are obviously "no". For her sake she had better wake up and be grateful that you don't treat her in the same way that her "fling" treated her.......
You're doing the right thing frogger, sometimes the "right thing" is the hardest thing to do, but the kids are definately worth the sacrifice. Every ounce of suffering that you are going through right now will be repaid by their love and respect for you in spades--bank on it.
Glad to hear you are okay and dealing with this sanely... last I heard you were talking weaponry. :Q
Keep moving forward, thinking about your children, and eventually, life will be happy again.
Keep moving forward, thinking about your children, and eventually, life will be happy again.
wife lies,
wife cheats on the web with you,
wife gets a motel room to cheat on you,
wife gets an STD
what kind of wife is this and why is she still your wife?
for me this is a no-brainer.
Staying together for the kids is a bogus arguement.
laterz
wife cheats on the web with you,
wife gets a motel room to cheat on you,
wife gets an STD
what kind of wife is this and why is she still your wife?
for me this is a no-brainer.
Staying together for the kids is a bogus arguement.
laterz
my wife can tell you... staying together for the kids just makes more people miserable for a longer period of time than ending it. She grew up with parents that got married solely for the kids (he was drunk during the ceremony / vows). It was not pretty after four years.
Do you honestly believe that you can ever trust your wife when she says she's working late ever again?
Do you think that you won't doubt her answers as to where she's been if she "stays over at a friends" for a night?
Personally, my trust is not that easy to gain back... and I couldn't tolerate not being able to look her in the eyes and know whether she's lying to me again, what else she lied to me about, and what other things she did that I don't know about.
My heart goes out to you. I can only imagine how painful that must be.
Do you honestly believe that you can ever trust your wife when she says she's working late ever again?
Do you think that you won't doubt her answers as to where she's been if she "stays over at a friends" for a night?
Personally, my trust is not that easy to gain back... and I couldn't tolerate not being able to look her in the eyes and know whether she's lying to me again, what else she lied to me about, and what other things she did that I don't know about.
My heart goes out to you. I can only imagine how painful that must be.
i couldnt imagine something ever like that happening to me. i give you all the credit you deserve frogger for handling something so terrrible with such great composure.
forgot to mention: hope you find a loving and faithfull wife in the near future
forgot to mention: hope you find a loving and faithfull wife in the near future
I commend Frogger on doing this so well. Good job mate.
<< i dont' know what i'd do...to my lady if i found that out..i'd go rampaging the house >>
jeez, something like this would near be the end of me, and probably of others. Something like this happened to me before, nowhere as bad, but it nailed me for sure. Tried walking in front of a car, I was livid, finally flagged a police cruiser down and spent the night at EMS.
just when you think you know someone...
<< i dont' know what i'd do...to my lady if i found that out..i'd go rampaging the house >>
jeez, something like this would near be the end of me, and probably of others. Something like this happened to me before, nowhere as bad, but it nailed me for sure. Tried walking in front of a car, I was livid, finally flagged a police cruiser down and spent the night at EMS.
just when you think you know someone...
dannylove.. did you read his update? i would say calling her a b*tch is the least he could do after what she has done. i would be calling her a lot worse things, trust me.
Point 3: The therapist noted how angry I got when I found the motel reciept from 20 miles away and wife refused to answer. Then the doc worked a reply from the wife. A innocent fling turned real ugly. My "wife" now has a STD which requires weekly treatment. (Thank the stars in the sky, I was "cut off".
I think anger is a reasonable reaction to this situation. Just try to keep control and think of your kids.
SO sorry that this is worse than first thought. Your wife really went too far!
I hope you find peace.
I think anger is a reasonable reaction to this situation. Just try to keep control and think of your kids.
SO sorry that this is worse than first thought. Your wife really went too far!
I hope you find peace.
Just remember that with children involved, if you are going to be divorced, you still have to deal with each other. You don't have to stay married, but you do need to forge some kind of peace between you.
My divorce from my first husband is much better than the marriage ever was.
Sometimes I wish he wasn't my oldest child's father, but he is. I can't do a darn thing about it except try to get along with him until she is 18. And then maybe again when she graduates from college. And then maybe again when she gets married.
See?
My divorce from my first husband is much better than the marriage ever was.
Sometimes I wish he wasn't my oldest child's father, but he is. I can't do a darn thing about it except try to get along with him until she is 18. And then maybe again when she graduates from college. And then maybe again when she gets married.
See?
the horrible thing is that the woman will probably still get the kids and his money. My brother divorced his wife and she got the kids, the house, the car, everything, even though he had a higher paying job and the kids testified that they wanted to live with him. Now she is in a condo with her boyfriend, who has 3 kids, so there are 5 kids and 2 adults in a 3 bedroom condo...
Why does the woman always get everything (well not really but more often than not? DAMN this makes me mad!!
I am sorry to hear about your problems, frogger. If I were in the same situation, I would not bother with counseling as far as the marrriage goes, only as far as my sanity is concerned. Drop her and move on with your life, imho.
Why does the woman always get everything (well not really but more often than not? DAMN this makes me mad!!
I am sorry to hear about your problems, frogger. If I were in the same situation, I would not bother with counseling as far as the marrriage goes, only as far as my sanity is concerned. Drop her and move on with your life, imho.
BoberFett
Lifer
- Oct 9, 1999
- 37,562
- 9
- 81
As usual, wise words from a wise woman. When Isla speaks, listen.
As far as saving the marriage, it will only work if both of you want it to. Affairs can be gotten past (not easily, but they can, I've witnessed it) but it takes dedication on both sides. If you do both want to fix it, counseling is a must.
As far as saving the marriage, it will only work if both of you want it to. Affairs can be gotten past (not easily, but they can, I've witnessed it) but it takes dedication on both sides. If you do both want to fix it, counseling is a must.
LordMaul
Lifer
- Nov 16, 2000
- 15,168
- 1
- 0
He is probably aiming to do what some guy did to a lady by me. Made "close" friends with her, she drove away from her husband to go meet this guy at HIS house, then the "big nasty" came along, and so on, then she left....it turns out he had video cameras rigged all over the room, and had it up aaaalllll over the internet...she got pissed...Duh....I don't feel sorry for her one bit. AND THEN SHE WANTED THE POLICE TO "DO SOMETHING" about it!!!!!
keep in mind, her type of activities are not what a "role model" parent, and you have a VERY strong case for custody, trust me. Also, in the custody agreement, you can have it say that no "unrespectable individuals (insert other guys name) may be around the children ever." it will hold, and if she violates this rule, in any way, any bit of her custody will be revoked. Adultery is not good in the courts, and certainly not the kind of behaviour that a parent should be exhibiting, but it does happen.
If you go that route, gather evidence, make sure you yourself are clean, and go for the throat in court, You'll basically get a restraining order so that her new friend will not be allowed around your kids, joint custody, hence ruining any permanent chances of her and his relationship
If you go that route, gather evidence, make sure you yourself are clean, and go for the throat in court, You'll basically get a restraining order so that her new friend will not be allowed around your kids, joint custody, hence ruining any permanent chances of her and his relationship
Damn LordMau! What a cold SOB. The joke could be on you if you weren't protected and picked something up a shot won't take care of. I hope nobody else would try to entice anybody that's married to do anything resembling this. Regardless if his/her marriage sucks, don't become a part of it by participating in it.
Frogger: I hope you go back into therapy for yourself. As far as staying with her is concerned: please remember that the AIDS virus can lie dormant for years before it becomes detectable in the blood stream. You need to get away from her to save yourself. Denying yourself the love of another person and denying a possible future mate your love is just plain wrong. Life is far too short to live it in misery.
loose that b1tch. It's not healthy for you, or the kids. Keep the kids, they'll need you. Get a different counselor - for YOU.
That is so wrong. I would be beside myself with anger - that dude would just be beside himself. :|
R
That is so wrong. I would be beside myself with anger - that dude would just be beside himself. :|
R
When I see the smiles of my children when I arrive home from work makes the whole damn mess tolerable.
To subject the children to her infidelity would be a negative approach.
Trust, well trust has been lost and will never be regained. We still go to marriage therapy. But the lost of trust can never be replaced.
As for her STD, geeze I guess it was earned. Also, the "as*hole" has been reported to the Atlanta CDC and his local medical/police hotsheet for criminal investigation. :disgust:
To subject the children to her infidelity would be a negative approach.
Trust, well trust has been lost and will never be regained. We still go to marriage therapy. But the lost of trust can never be replaced.
As for her STD, geeze I guess it was earned. Also, the "as*hole" has been reported to the Atlanta CDC and his local medical/police hotsheet for criminal investigation. :disgust:
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