Wife has a Internet Boyfriend

[PistachioByAzul]

No one should be giving advice on this kind of issue on this forum.

I disagree, it's good for us to offer our perspectives. It's up to the person seeking guidance to take the advice from some clowns on an internet BBS with a grain of salt.

 

[VAP0R]

Man what shes doing to you is fvcked up. You gotta slap the b*tch up and tell her that if you catch her ass contacting that fool again you'll beat the living sh*t out of her and throw her ass off the house. Man listen to some Eminem songs to get you motivated.

DO IT! SHOW HER WHOS THE MAN!

 

[VAP0R]

lol jk
Dont listen to me i dont know jack sh*t, lol

 

[SSP]

Whoa! VAP0R... I was ready to slap you around with a large trout, then I saw your 2nd post.

 

[Yeeny]

Corn: I think you have a valid question, but I kind of answered it earlier. But its a long thread, and I know you may have missed it. If my husband was doing what this guy thinks his wife is doing, and then told me it was none of my business, he would be gone. Simple enough. Now as for my husband flirting, he does. He flirts with women, and enjoys friendships with several of them. And I am secure in my relationship with him, just as he is with me. If I am going to fret every time he looks at another woman, or jokes around, then there is something wrong with my self esteem. And that would not be his problem to fix, but mine instead. And that is my opinion on the matter, I am outta here.

 

[DAGTA]

Well, I'm not big on relationship advice so I'm not going to give any. Instead, I'll say how I feel. Women and Men, in general, have very different priorities. Men seek loyalty. Most of us want a woman that will be loyal no matter what. On the other hand, most women seem to think that loyalty takes a second priority compared to being happy. I personally believe that a marriage is a sacred vow. I can understand the anger, but anger is not useful in this situation. Talking it out is the only thing that may help. However, I really don't like the "cut off" comment. That is just wrong. I would have no problem with my girlfriend/wife confiding in a friend about our relationship. However, there is something wrong if that friend becomes closer than the significant other. Love is patient and forgiving. If two people truly love each other, they can work through any difficulty.
As for Isla and GF, I agree that a healthy relationship has no need to fear your other flirting or talking to the opposite sex. However, there is a still a line that must not be crossed. I believe GF expressed that in her post about theoretically kicking her man out if he went that far. I wish them the best, but I think there will be problems. The "cut off" statement shows a very serious problem. You dont' do that to someone you love.
-Dagta
P.S. If this is unintelligible, please excuse me, i'm very tired

 

[Kayes]

have a long talk with her... spend more time together... show her that you love her still...

 

[spamboy]

It seems to me we have two types of people in this thread:
1. Grown-up people who value relationships and everything they entail.
2. A$$holes who want a pussy to call their own and expect their penises to be good enough to keep their "bitches" satisfied.

Anyone who could be in a relationship with someone they could ever call a bitch is not capable of the maturity or the emotion to be in one in the first place.

People capable of real love don't let things like this get in the way of their happiness. They work through it and come out stronger. Trust me, I've been in situations much, much, more threatening to my relationship and now I love my girlfriend more than ever.

For someone to get so worked up over something so trivial shows me one thing: They are stuck in junior high school. Grow up.

And in case all the #2's out there are wondering: No, intelligent, mature people are not impressed by hard-liners. You are only showing your complete lack of thought, caring, and maturity.

Bravo to GF, BiggieN and Isla for standing their ground against the louts.

 

[DABANSHEE]

Funny thing is here's Frogger complaining about his wife talking to some stranging on the internet about their marriage; yet here's Frogger talking to all of us over the internet about the same thing - his marriage.

 

[convex]

kick her ass to the curb.

 

[Dean]

I have seen way too many marriages break up over "innocent internet chatting"

Too many women...and men can fall into a sort of lack of excitement in a marriage. They find friends on the internet and then let their imagination and fantacies run wild as they slowly let reality fall apart!!

They always think the grass is greener on the other side, little do they know that the person who they are talking too is just as pitiful as they are..sitting on front of their computer, writing a romance novel in their mind and ignoring the world around them.

I gotta agree with classy!!....give her the walking papers and to piss her off more keep the computer

 

[ppaik]

Frogger......just remember this........f*ck it!!!.....we have too little time on our hands to let other people ruin it for us. I have spent some sleepless nights over my g/f here and there. (BTW I have been with my g/f for 6 years) She was my life, but sometimes life changes. If she wants to go her own way, let her!!! Just...f...u....c....k.....i.....t.....no joke. There is no use in trying to keep her there and making both of you unhappy. If she's smart and realizes that she is NOTHING!!!! without you, then you can decide whether you are better off with or without her. Other than that......our words mean nothing to you in your personal life. But I really try to live by these words to better my life, my attitude, and the lives around the people who I affect. YOU ARE LOVED BY MANY OTHERS!!!

My 2 cents.......just.....F......U......C......K.......I.......T........

 

[PCAddict]

I hope it works out for you. As others have said, document everything. Try talking to her, if that doesn't work, begin making launch preparations. Look out for number one.

 

[frogger]

OK, sorry to bring up this dead thread. I vented without thinking of the opinions of the group. I just wanted to hear someone say "you are right".

First, I read all the replies and have a couple of points to clear up.

Point 1: We went to a therapist. She said everyone communicates their feeling with a friend. Usually a gal to gal or guy to guy thing. She said however, it is not acceptable to release "personal info" to a complete stranger. We still go but, what I desire out of the relationship vs. her intent has changed.

Point 2: As a member of an exclusive and open forum, I was chastised for venting in this forum by the therapist. (I tried open communications, but was rebuffed. Point accepted by Doc.)

Point 3: The therapist noted how angry I got when I found the motel reciept from 20 miles away and wife refused to answer. Then the doc worked a reply from the wife. A innocent fling turned real ugly. My "wife" now has a STD which requires weekly treatment. (Thank the stars in the sky, I was "cut off".

Point 4: Our children will not become an issue. Until the last one reaches 18, there will be no discussion of this since it is not their problem.

Point 5: I had to change banks and credit card numbers since a withdrawl from our "shared" account happened in a city "several miles" away. The bank has refunded the money and now are pursuing the person.

Point 6: My computer has both tracking and logging software.

As I read all the posts, I realized I had stirred up a wasps nests of anger. I have learned what cost betrayal is and how to deal with anger.

Thanks for all the comments!

 

[The Stigenator]

glad to know you got yourself back.





keep up the good work.. and dont get red faced anymore.

 

[Regine]

Hope that everything turns out well for you.

I'm sorry to hear about everything that has happened to you. I am very glad that you keep your kids out of this for now.

 

[Dameon]

The therapist "noted" how angry you got? What are you supposed to do? Turn a blind eye and deny it? You are justified, right, and prefectly in the clear to be extremely, ragingly pissed off about it.

 

[Cheapster]

Wow, I feel your pain. I had my ex-gf hook up with somebody on the net then cheat on me. Definately not a good feeling. Usually the cheating is the end result of a bad relationship though. From the way it sounds, it looks like you're going to stick it out. I wish you the best of luck, I hope your wife realizes that your trust level will never be the same again, ever. I had a co-worker that cheated on his wife 20 years ago, she still brought it up and was curious about his whereabouts to this date.

 

[PistachioByAzul]

Ugh, I hate stories like this, they get me so riled up. I hope you divorce this b!tch and leave her with nothing.

 

[Losty]

i dont' know what i'd do...to my lady if i found that out..i'd go rampaging the house

 

[Emulex]

---#1---- LOG EVERYTHING, IRC/online logs are VALID in divorce court.

once you have the logs, pack her sh!t up and throw it out on the street.

go buy a copy of that "spyware" software of fleabay heheh.

seriously gather evidence before you ditches you for another dude and gets your house and car!!

its obvious if she's looking, she's looking to go.

 

[Yeeny]

I am so sorry to hear that Frogger. Good luck in whatever you decide to do, and I hope everything works out for you.

 

[ChrichtonsGirl]

frogger, I was hoping the update would be better news. I'm so sorry that you found out your wife had done the worst thing you imagined, but glad she finally told you. I couldn't really tell from your post whether or not you are going to stay married (at least for now), but if you do, then continuing therapy is definitely a good thing. I can only imagine the anger you must have felt when she said she'd not only cheated, but brought home an STD from it. I'm furious just reading it, and I guess you're right - looking back, it's a good thing she cut you off.

Good luck, frogger - I hope it all works out, whether you stay married or not, and that your kids are going to be okay.

 

[iamwiz82]

the horrible thing is that the woman will probably still get the kids and his money. My brother divorced his wife and she got the kids, the house, the car, everything, even though he had a higher paying job and the kids testified that they wanted to live with him. Now she is in a condo with her boyfriend, who has 3 kids, so there are 5 kids and 2 adults in a 3 bedroom condo...

 

[Emulex]

whoa std! thats serious grounds for smack-your-bitch-up action in court (not in RL).

damn..

if my so brought me an STD, she'd be living on the curb in 5 minutes.

hopefully its one they can fix!