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wife changing last name to husband's

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Originally posted by: rh71
Originally posted by: kranky
If she hasn't done it in 4 years, she's not going to do it. But it won't create any additional problems because you have children.
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The thing is having the children under my name will make her feel more motivated to do it. She talks about it but it's not as simple as talking and making it happen. I know that it's not that she's unwilling... if it can be done online, it would be done.

At least you answered the question about the kids since that's why I posted to begin with.
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you're saying unless she can do it online...she's unlikely to get it done anytime soon? What is this world coming to. Unless you live out in the middle of no where, you have a social security office within 10 minutes of where you live. That is probably the most work out of all of them and that should take a max of an hour with driving included. The rest is just some phone calls. Really...there is no excuse other than pathetic procrastination unless she really does not want to change it.
 
my wife changed hers. it was one of those things she just did and i never heard much about, kinda like the wedding planning.

God bless America.
 
It's not that hard. Just gotta send the paperwork to the DMV, Social Security office, her work, and whatever financial institutions she belongs to. It should really only take a few days to get everything done even if she's relaxed about the whole thing.
 
Honestly, it was not that big of a deal at all. It look a bit of time, but was never that big of an inconviencnce for me.
 
Considering that it's not uncommon for both people to need to change beneficiaries on various accounts around the time you're married, I can't see a name change being much more difficult, other than just making sure you know who needs to know.

Once you're informed and organized, it's just paperwork (if not electronic).
 
At least she didn't go w/ the stupid hyphenated last name. Now that's just screws "I'm a feminist." Or guys w/ hyphenated last name, but that's just uber ghey.
 
I am not married, but had my name legally changed (I'm male, and it was for personal reasons). It wasn't *that* hard for me to get my name changed at most places, though I'm *still* getting junk mail at my old name, and I changed it two years ago.

* Social security office is easy... walk in, wait a few minutes, talk to a CSR, and then wait for the new card in the mail.
* State ID was almost as easy... walk in, wait a while, attempt to explain the situation to a CSR, and then correct the CSR's typing fifteen times because she can't type a 6-character last name correctly. Wait a few more minutes, and get a revised driver's license.
* Insurance was easy. Took a copy of the court order in to my insurance agent's office, and it was immediately changed.
* Banks can be a PITA. One CSR outright refused to change my name (said that males are not permitted to change their names... wtf). All banks required a certified copy of the court order.
* AAA changed my name over the phone, but apparently added my old name to their advertisements list, because I've ever since received AAA promotional materials on an almost daily basis (as my old name).
* (Board of Elections / Registrar / Secretary of State) just requires you to fill out a re-registration form, and that's it.
* Company HR requires submission of a certified copy of the court order. They should take care of changing your name with work-sponsored insurance.
* Utilities are the worst. Their CSRs will make the change, but it might be only reflected on certain documents. For example, with Verizon, my new name appears on my printed bill, but their online portal still says my old name. And when I call for service or etc., I sometimes have to say my old name before they say that I'm approved to discuss the account.

It's not that difficult from a technical standpoint. I fully advocate the woman picking whatever name she wants rather than sticking to an old tradition, but that's not a subject for this thread. 😛
 
My wife is a procrastinator, so after 2 1/2 years she's only changed it in a few places. She'll get to the rest eventually... it's not an issue of not wanting to use my name, because she goes by my name (except for her photography, because my name is difficult to spell)
 
Changing of the name seems to me like some old way of a male asserting dominance over a female, like marking territory or something.


Either way, it's just a name. She'll still be your wife either way, it's not like she's going to abandon you on a whim. "Oh, it's ok, I can sleep with you - I don't have his last name." 😉

With so many businesses and other organizations that want to be kept updated on this stuff, that's just a lot of work to uphold some old tradition.

 
Originally posted by: Jeff7
Changing of the name seems to me like some old way of a male asserting dominance over a female, like marking territory or something.
Click to expand...

How do you refer to a couple that is married but have seperate names for things like invitations and simple conversation?

If you have John Doe and Jane Smith, are they Mr. and Mrs. Doe...Mr. Smith and Ms. Doe?

 
My wife is a procrastinator but she did this about a week after the honeymoon. It's just paperwork, nothing difficult. The big PITA has been US Bank. 4 years later they still print debit cards with her maiden name. We have talked to them in person 7 times and over the phone 4 times and every time they end up saying something like this...
"Oh here's the problem, let me correct that and order you a new card"

2 weeks later the new card comes and has her Maiden name on it... morons.
 
I really slacked on changing my last name to my husbands. I did it about a year after we got married. I still haven't changed everything over, only the really important things like Social Security, MVD, work, and my bank. The Social Security office told me that both my married name and maiden name were both legal names I could use, so I do.
 
Originally posted by: vi edit
How do you refer to a couple that is married but have separate names for things like invitations and simple conversation?

If you have John Doe and Jane Smith, are they Mr. and Mrs. Doe...Mr. Smith and Ms. Doe?
Click to expand...
If the people in question know that you're married, then it's not a concern. If they don't know, enlighten them and move on.🙂

 
Funny...I kinda wish my wife won't change hers. People and even myself calling her Mrs. Depth sounds really weird because I have grown up all my life only hearing Mrs Depth as my mom.
 
Originally posted by: hanoverphist
Originally posted by: kranky
If she hasn't done it in 4 years, she's not going to do it. But it won't create any additional problems because you have children.
Click to expand...

unless she wants the kids to take her name instead of yours... 😛


my ex still has my last name and we have been apart for a couple years.
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You should charge her annually for it.

OP, how about when you go to fancy parties where they announce your names as Mr&Mrs Blah?
 
Originally posted by: rh71
Originally posted by: kranky
If she hasn't done it in 4 years, she's not going to do it. But it won't create any additional problems because you have children.
Click to expand...

The thing is having the children under my name will make her feel more motivated to do it. She talks about it but it's not as simple as talking and making it happen. I know that it's not that she's unwilling... if it can be done online, it would be done.

At least you answered the question about the kids since that's why I posted to begin with.
Click to expand...

It's really not that hard. My wife did it easily, and both of my sisters did, too.

Your wife = stalling 😉

Your last name isn't Harrischitz or Hitler, is it?
 
Originally posted by: Baked
At least she didn't go w/ the stupid hyphenated last name. Now that's just screws "I'm a feminist." Or guys w/ hyphenated last name, but that's just uber ghey.
Click to expand...

i have a friend from high school that recently got married for the third time... i think. they didnt like the whole name tradition and decided to change to a completely different name for both. i thought it was silly but whats the difference really?
 
Originally posted by: Jeff7
Changing of the name seems to me like some old way of a male asserting dominance over a female, like marking territory or something.
Click to expand...

Hardly. For some people, it's just tradition. If you don't understand, just say you don't understand.

My wife was rather excited by the prospect, and spent years "practicing" writing her name with my last name. At the same time, I couldn't wait to have her do it.

That certainly does not translate to male dominance. Neither of us "wears the pants". Every decision is talked about and each of our opinions weighed carefully. No one has the final say. No one is the disciplinarian, and no one is the "fun" parent. In fact, my wife has a rather strong personality and is quit feisty... one of the many reasons I married her.
 
Originally posted by: vi edit
Originally posted by: Jeff7
Changing of the name seems to me like some old way of a male asserting dominance over a female, like marking territory or something.
Click to expand...

How do you refer to a couple that is married but have seperate names for things like invitations and simple conversation?

If you have John Doe and Jane Smith, are they Mr. and Mrs. Doe...Mr. Smith and Ms. Doe?
Click to expand...

mr doe and his wife, of course.

edit:

Originally posted by: JTsyo
Originally posted by: hanoverphist
Originally posted by: kranky
If she hasn't done it in 4 years, she's not going to do it. But it won't create any additional problems because you have children.
Click to expand...

unless she wants the kids to take her name instead of yours... 😛


my ex still has my last name and we have been apart for a couple years.
Click to expand...

You should charge her annually for it.
Click to expand...


ROFL
 
My wife hasn't changed hers. We've been married for a little over a year. I haven't pressed her to do it, and I honestly don't care if she ever does. It seems like a big hassle for no real benefit, imo. She still uses my last name when it's convenient, but as far as making it official? Nah.
 
my wife was proud to take my last name and im proud that she has it.

hypen names are fricken stupid and in my opinion show a lack of commitment.
 
My wife took my last name despite the culture difference (I'm asian, she's white). It took her an hour to go to dmv, passport office, and social security office to get her name changed.
 
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