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Geekbabe

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,229
2,539
126
www.theshoppinqueen.com
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

...and a closing thought: Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?



 
C

chuckywang

Lifer
Jan 12, 2004
20,133
1
0
Originally posted by: AcidicFury
I'm confused. Are we supposed to answer or refute?
Click to expand...

They are little weird things about the english language. For example, we park in driveways and drive on parkways. Delivery by boat is called cargo and delivery by car is called shipment. Just nod your head and go on your way.
 
Deeko

Deeko

Lifer
Jun 16, 2000
30,213
12
81
Originally posted by: Deeko
0/26
Click to expand...

hahah woah. I typed 26 to exagerate the normal 0/10 post, insinuating unfunnyness or stupidness. I then realized...she posted 26 things. Weird.
 
C

chuckywang

Lifer
Jan 12, 2004
20,133
1
0
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Cause you want a vacuum to suck

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
Cause the third hand counds seconds (as in time, not enumeration)

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
No words are misspelled in any good dictionary. And even if there are, just compare them to other dictionaries

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
Umm...probably from the English language.

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
A whack is what I'm going to give you for this post.

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Idioms, learn them.

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
Fat chance is sarcastic.

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
I thought barges "tugged" on tugboats, hence the name. I'm not sure.

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
Tradition.

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
The name comes from grandstand.

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
Maybe it means "after dark begins."

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
I'm not even goign to think about this.

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
Like "fat chance", "wise guy" is sarcastic.

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
To "look" has no specfic object in mind. Hence, overlook is looking over something, hence not noticing that something. To "see" means to look at something specific. Hence, oversee is seeing over something, so you are looking at that something.

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
Cause "ph" is pronounced "f"

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
Some work isn't so terrific.

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If all the world's a stage, the audience is everybody watching you make a fool of yourself.

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Love and sex are two different things.

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Probably not. Two wrongs don't make a right.

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
Panties could be singular too. Like "don't get your panties in a bunch."

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
I don't. If you do, you are stupid.

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
You can put suits in a suitcase too. I'm not sure about garment bags, but I think you can put garments in them..

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
It just is.

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Maybe, maybe not. Some people are hard to clean.

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Cause the two sides of the bottle arent' touching each other.

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
Maybe it refers to the set of things that makes up a TV.

...and a closing thought: Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
No other time that I can think of!
Click to expand...
 
TheLonelyPhoenix

TheLonelyPhoenix

Diamond Member
Feb 15, 2004
5,594
1
0
Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours, why are there locks on the doors?
 
T

Toki

Senior member
Jan 30, 2004
277
0
0
Originally posted by: TheLonelyPhoenix
Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours, why are there locks on the doors?
Click to expand...

holidays
 
B

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
OH come ON!!!

It's not like Geekbabe posts jokes very often.

Now she'll probably think twice before she does it again. :disgust:

(I'm running out of material here, and need all the jokes I can GET!!! Don't scare people off!) ;)
 
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