Why you should restrain your road rage . . .

XMan

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
12,513
49
91
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder. This evidently pissed the driver off enough that he hung out his window and flipped the woman off.

"Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and here's why.

I drive 38 miles each way every day to work, that's 76 miles. Of these, 16 each way, is bumper-to-bumper, most of the bumper-to-bumper is on 8 lane highway. So if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 34 miles is not bumper to bumper. I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to
something like 36,000 cars I pass every day. Statistically half of these are driven by females, that's 18,000. In any given group of females 1 in 28 are having the worst day of their period. That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding, that's 449, according to the National Institutes of
Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide, that's 98, and 34% describe men as their biggest problem, that's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing. That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that, has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, is
having the worst day of her period and is armed.

No matter what she does in traffic, I wouldn't DREAM of flipping her off.
 

ltk007

Banned
Feb 24, 2000
6,209
1
0
Way too much time, but everything he says makes so much sense. Every woman out there is ticked off, and a few of them are paking heat so be careful :Q
 

RJRD2

Senior member
Mar 10, 2000
643
0
76
I think I would have flipped her off too..I dont consider that road rage..Now if I raced up in front of her and cut her off that would be a different story..
 

vi edit

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Oct 28, 1999
62,387
8,154
126
Or they could go black widow on your ass...sodomize you, and then shoot you :Q
 

Toolman

Senior member
Oct 10, 1999
989
0
0
Makes me appreciate my little 3 1/2 mile 10 minute island commute all the more! :)
 

XMan

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
12,513
49
91
I should have put a disclaimer . . . LOL!

That wasn't me, it was forwarded to me by a female friend of mine, which made it even funnier from my point of view.
 

ratkil

Platinum Member
Jan 12, 2000
2,117
0
76
nothing like that burning sensation from Pepsi in the nasal passages to start the morning off...........that was hilarious!
 

AndrewR

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
11,157
0
0
If you're worried about it, don't flip them off -- shoot them first. :D

That's hilarious, Xerox.
 

NikPreviousAcct

No Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
52,763
1
0
shoot first and ask questions later, I agree. :)

I got this in an email this morning. It's just another thing going around.