Why would anyone want to get married?

[Mill]

Originally posted by: VBboy

Originally posted by: Eli

Originally posted by: VBboy
Let's hear some responses from the UNMARRIED, non-war-veteran Anandtech members?

I'm not married, but am pretty much engaged. We will do it when we're ready.

You have some strange views on relationships.. Why would marriage impair ones ability to have fun? Doesen't make any sense.

Because to me having fun is staying up late, watching the TV, talking with my friends and doing stuff on the PC.

And your wife is going to prevent this? Don't marry a hardass then.

 

[xirtam]

Let's hear some responses from the UNMARRIED, non-war-veteran Anandtech members?

Because one day, the geek inside wakes up from his pathetic state of existence and decides that his girl is more important than his $350 video card. And he decides he wants to spend the rest of his life devoted to his girl and not a piece of equipment that he has to upgrade every two months. And he decides that the fleeting form of fun that he enjoyed as a careless teenager pales to the fulfilling companionship possible in a marriage relationship.

P.S. No, I am not a 16-year old kid who never got laid

Finally, he realizes that marriage is much more than getting laid.

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: VBboy
Let's hear some responses from the UNMARRIED, non-war-veteran Anandtech members?

Roger that, buddy!!! Here I am. Whaddayawannaknow?

I'm 34, never married. I have one 7-year old son. When I was younger, I could not keep my zipper closed under any circumstances. I've done some things I'm not proud of, including my son's mother. It's the truth.

I love my son though and see him whenever the bitch lets me.

I am most definitely "middle class" AFA income goes. I have a nice truck, nice tools, nice toys, nice major appliances, etc. All b/c I don't have to answer to anyone.

Don't misunderstand; the QUALITY single life ain't cheap; I have to work two jobs in order to have "decent" spending money in my pocket. For me, that ain't a few hundred a month, either. You like to live large? You pay for it. I am willing to work for it.

The idea of having a ball and chain is repulsive to me.

I have already had a bad experience with the whole "family" and procreation thing. I do not want any more children, so I've no worries there.

I will most probably never get married. Why? Here's why: divorce trial, proceedings and decisions.

For example: I've busted my @ss to be able to afford my 6-foot-tall triple-chest Craftsman roll-away, complete with a kickass set of Standard and Metric tools. I will burn in hell before some harpie takes it away from me b/c she KNOWS it means a lot to me...not b/c it's worth a couple of grand. :|

Love is an illusion. It's all love UNTIL somebody gets really pissed off. Anybody who says differently has never lost his ass in court before.

Waaaaay back in 1988 (yeah, I'm that old) I was living with this girl. BOTH our names were on the lease. I bought furniture, a fridge and a living room set. We had probs. She got a restraining order (BS!) I wasn't allowed back in the apt. She moved. She took my sh21t. I lost a lot of money. Never again.

I have a GF that I love very much. I'd do anythign for her...except risk my financial future. Money is forever. Love is fleeting.

 

[VBboy]

MichaelD,

Thank you for sharing your story. You are not entirely disagreeing with me there, I see. Exactly, love is nice, but marriage is not necessarily always so.

 

[Kenny0829]

Quote

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by: Kenny0829
For the HASSLE.....
It's like a DEATH wish....
Gee I'm happy, what can I do to ruin it ????
Get Married duh
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Geez, who are the horrible women you've been going out with that make you think this way?

My EX - Wife Who raked me over the coals, and after she thought, she had taken EVERYTHING and left me for broke, with a ton of bills to pay. ASKED FOR MORE.....

 

[Zenmervolt]

Originally posted by: Grasshopper27

Originally posted by: Zenmervolt
You do realise that you are not describing a girlfriend/boyfriend, but rather a device for masturbation that just happens to be alive.

ZV

LOL!

Best quote today!

You're right of course, you don't get married to have sex, you get married because you're in love and want to be married.

: ) Hopper

You're right, but that's not really what I was getting at. He was talking about how he just wanted a girlfriend to have fun with and "keep it that way", without "complicating things". If there's no emotional commitment (i.e. he's not willing to make any sacrifices of himself for the other person) then it's just masturbation on some level, even if there are no sexual activities involved at all.

ZV

 

[Monel Funkawitz]

Originally posted by: VBboy
Ok, I just don't understand why anyone would want to get married. I like my independence, being able to leave the house whenever I like; spending money on the computer (like buying a $350 videocard) without having to explain it to a wife, considering the family budget, etc. I also like going out with my friends whenever I like without being worried about not coming home for the "family dinner".

Seems that a marriage would significantly impair anyone's ability to have fun. Can't you just have a girlfriend/boyfriend, and keep it that way? Why complicate things?

P.S. No, I am not a 16-year old kid who never got laid

Try getting your left hand to cook you dinner, wash your laundry, and brighten up your day after you screw the piss outta it and forget its birthday.

 

[Deeko]

erm....not all women are psychos. Not all women are out to steal your money. You know, there are some who marry for love, too. isn't that weird how that works? :Q

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: VBboy
MichaelD,

Thank you for sharing your story. You are not entirely disagreeing with me there, I see. Exactly, love is nice, but marriage is not necessarily always so.

I love being in love. I always have. Since I was a teen...a long, long ignorance-is-bliss time ago.

However, as an adult, I've seen what can happen. I know...I WORK WITH guys that were married 10-15 years, have 2-3 kids and the bitch leaves. These guys are suddenly trying to live on 30% of their former income...it's really sad.

AND I'LL BET EVERY DAMN SINGLE ONE OF YOU MARRIED GUYS WILL SAY:

Oh, my wife LOVES me...she'd NEVER do that.

You are ALL ignorant. NOT an insult. A fact. Ignorant. Just you wait...I hope it never happens to you...I honestly hope you never have to get a a second full-time job just to make your car payment. Just to pay rent. Just to have money in your pocket so you can take you kid to the zoo....

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: Deeko
erm....not all women are psychos. Not all women are out to steal your money. You know, there are some who marry for love, too. isn't that weird how that works? :Q

You wouldn't know your ass from your elbow if your ass and elbow introduced themselves to you at a formal dinner party, over cocktails.

EVERYBODY GETS MARRIED B/C OF LOVE!!!! Duh. When it goes bad, the COURT<--court is GOD! sides w/the woman all the time. God help you if you have kids....just apply at McDonalds now....

 

[ohtwell]

Well, I'm married and I don't stop my hubby from doing most of those things.

Marriage is about love and sometimes you have to compromise. If you can't handle that then don't get married.


: ) Amanda

 

[kleinesarschloch]

Try getting your left hand to cook you dinner, wash your laundry, and brighten up your day after you screw the piss outta it and forget its birthday.

done and done.

 

[iwearnosox]

I'd get married but my other girlfriends said they'd leave me if I ever did.

 

[human2k]

Marriage sucks, you get one vagina for the rest of your life, and your wife begins to fatten you up slowly so that you won't be able to run away and soon YOU'RE YOUR WIFE"S BITCH!


btw, the wifey can sure cook.

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: kleinesarschloch

Try getting your left hand to cook you dinner, wash your laundry, and brighten up your day after you screw the piss outta it and forget its birthday.

done and done.

That is actually really funny!!!!! Honestly!

However...I've not been lucky enough to meet a "traditional woman." My brother married one...but they BOTH also wanted a family of 4,310...not my bag.

I can cook. Seriously...just look at my spare tire. Every woman I've dated, I've cooked for...they all love Mike's skills with the pots and pans. I can do my own laundry, thanks.

My GF and I are talking...it's like a business deal. We MIGHT get married, with an iron-clad prenuptial agreement that protects BOTH of us.

We will catalog our belongings, as cataloged BEFORE marriage. In the event the marriage ends, we both agree to not touch anything on that list. Everything else will be split 50-50%

 

[Zenmervolt]

Originally posted by: MichaelD
I love being in love. I always have. Since I was a teen...a long, long ignorance-is-bliss time ago.

However, as an adult, I've seen what can happen. I know...I WORK WITH guys that were married 10-15 years, have 2-3 kids and the bitch leaves. These guys are suddenly trying to live on 30% of their former income...it's really sad.

AND I'LL BET EVERY DAMN SINGLE ONE OF YOU MARRIED GUYS WILL SAY:

Oh, my wife LOVES me...she'd NEVER do that.

You are ALL ignorant. NOT an insult. A fact. Ignorant. Just you wait...I hope it never happens to you...I honestly hope you never have to get a a second full-time job just to make your car payment. Just to pay rent. Just to have money in your pocket so you can take you kid to the zoo....

You state your problem very well in the first sentence of your post. If all you love is being in love, then you will fall for any woman who comes along and is willing to let you love her. Being in love with the woman is vastly different from being in love with being in love. I have never once seen a person who was in love with being in love maintain a successful and healthy relationship.

There's a funny thing about all the stories about the horrors of divorce too. I know exactly one person who has been married and devorced among my family's friends, and that was only because the man got a little hard into the drink. One divorced couple out of everyone my family knows, and even that divorce went relatively smoothly.

ZV

 

[Pliablemoose]

Single till 29, married till 32, divorced till 38, married ever since. One biological daughter, one step daughter, one loon ex wife that moved her white trash ass to England & lost custody of our child to me because of the move & her poor parenting.

Your priorities change as you get older. Have you met any women that turn your world around yet? I've met several, logic goes out the window & you decide to make babies or have lots & lots of regular sex, after that, you're doomed

<--- My wife would let me buy a $350 video card, I'd just rather have a generation or 2 old card that plays current games, 4 PC's, wireless network, 2 printers, the newest, hottest PDA, a newer generation of cell phones, etc...

My car sucks (91 Maxima), but I've also bought 4 new cars over the years, 6 or so new motorcycles. I could go buy a New car @ the drop of a hat, but WTF, it's just a car & I'm enjoying trying to see how many miles I can rack up on a car...

Current wife rocks, & if she wants 1/2 of everything, it's a done deal, we've had a good run, biggest issue for me was custody in previous marriage, not an issue in this one.

 

[vash]

For all of those that are against marriage NOW, don't forget when the marriage WAS good.

Marriage CAN breakdown, people CAN breakup and you CAN lose all your things.

Marriages can ALSO stick together and NOT fall apart.

There are plenty of people who have been married and it fell apart and they are completely scorn from experience and swear it off forever. Then there are the people who are very happy with their spouses and wouldn't leave by their side for anything.

vash

 

[ivol07]

Originally posted by: MichaelD

Originally posted by: VBboy
MichaelD,

Thank you for sharing your story. You are not entirely disagreeing with me there, I see. Exactly, love is nice, but marriage is not necessarily always so.

I love being in love. I always have. Since I was a teen...a long, long ignorance-is-bliss time ago.

However, as an adult, I've seen what can happen. I know...I WORK WITH guys that were married 10-15 years, have 2-3 kids and the bitch leaves. These guys are suddenly trying to live on 30% of their former income...it's really sad.

AND I'LL BET EVERY DAMN SINGLE ONE OF YOU MARRIED GUYS WILL SAY:

Oh, my wife LOVES me...she'd NEVER do that.

You are ALL ignorant. NOT an insult. A fact. Ignorant. Just you wait...I hope it never happens to you...I honestly hope you never have to get a a second full-time job just to make your car payment. Just to pay rent. Just to have money in your pocket so you can take you kid to the zoo....

This is so stupid! This is like product reviews on web sites, only people who have complaints make any noise. Go to your work and I'll bet you find two times as many happily married men than otherwise... if you actually went and asked them. I rarely go around telling my friends how happily married I am. Maybe I should.

As for the second part. We are not ignorant. If you are a good spouse you will realize WAAAYYY before divorce that something is going wrong in your marriage and you need to work on it. But that takes work, something that I don't see many people doing in their marriages these days. Women don't just suddenly decide one day "Hey, I think I'll just up and disrupt my whole life and get a divorce because I'm bored". I'm sure it had something to do with your co-workers.

 

[SCSIfreek]

Originally posted by: VBboy

Originally posted by: Eli

Originally posted by: VBboy
Let's hear some responses from the UNMARRIED, non-war-veteran Anandtech members?

I'm not married, but am pretty much engaged. We will do it when we're ready.

You have some strange views on relationships.. Why would marriage impair ones ability to have fun? Doesen't make any sense.

Because to me having fun is staying up late, watching the TV, talking with my friends and doing stuff on the PC.

You are obviously not old enough to see the rest of your life. Come back in ten year or so and you'll realize all of your friends getting married and not being able to party. Their views will change trust me on this one.


--Scsi

 

[MichaelD]

I respect quite a few of you guys. Particularly PLIABLEMOOSE. Many a conversation we've had. He's one man I look up to...patience of a saint, calculating mind of the HAL9000...one of the few men that actually WON in spite of the entire damn system being stacked against him...a true rarity.

Marriage is a two-way street....you've gotta be...well...normal, I guess for marriage to work. I'm a quirky character....not quirky THAT WAY, ya damn freaks...just quirky...

 

[kleinesarschloch]

i don't think i would take a chance with legal marriage. a divorce can financially ruin a man in no time at all, esp. if kids are involved.

 

[drum]

Keep your fly shut and don't move in with your girlfriend to start with. Yeah, bad experiences are going to happen to some, but if you don't move in before you know them REALLY well, (ie. date the sig. other for a long time) you wouldn't lose your stuff before you get married. DON'T crap on everyone elses experiences by saying never to get married because YOU had a bad experience.
We are free to live our own lives and make our own decisions, if you and your partner mutually have a desire for marriage, then DO it.

 

[Geekbabe]

IMHO,you marry because your desire to share your life with that person is bigger than all your fears.

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
IMHO,you marry because your desire to share your life with that person is bigger than all your fears.

Ah...the Idealist Outlook. It's all a pretty picture, babe, until someone loses HIS shirt.