Why won't people listen? <minor rant>

[DaveJ]

Hello all,

<rant>

Why won't people listen?

I went out driving with my sister this weekend - BIG mistake. My sister takes the idea of &quot;aggressive driving&quot; to the limit. She once got two tickets (from two different cops)in the space of 20 minutes, both for 20 over. Speed limits are more of a suggestion. I've never actually seen her do the limit, mostly it's at least 10 over. She'll take speed bumps at a gallop, and will often shift to second gear in a parking lot... she's had one definite at-fault accident, and has been involved in 3 &quot;hit-and-run&quot; accidents. Her car is 5 years old, but has already had a major engine rebuild because it was burning oil... She refuses to drive in the rain now because she was speeding once on the highway, spun out, and ended up in the median.

What the hell can I tell her to make her SLOW DOWN? Short of getting herself killed, I can't think of anything that would work... we've tried all the usual stuff, but she won't listen to anyone...

The sad thing is, she really has NO idea how much this is costing her, because my parents pick up the tab for the insurance and repairs...

</rant>

Dave

 

[xero]

blow her car up, cut her license up...cut her hands off?



seriously though, sit down and talk to your parents about it....see if they'll stop paying for all her bills..maybe when she finds out how much its gonna cost to fix her POS....ahem....car, she'll slow down and take better care of the car...

 

[Total Refected Power]

DAVEJ:

Your concern is well-placed. Not only is she risking her own life but the lives of others on the road. Some people feel invincible in their bubble. All too often they don't get a second chance.

I would ask the local police to scare the crap out of her.

 

[konichiwa]

First thing that comes to mind is making her pay her own damage/insurance/ticket bills.

 

[nateholtrop]

Ask her if you can see her car keys for a minute and dont give them back until she confesses to your parents.

Nate

 

[The Stigenator]

4 things:
1. Anonymous call to DMV regarding unsafe driver. They would restrict/suspend licence for a while.
2. Talk to local police.
3. Send her to me. I will show her what real fright is.
4. Have her pay the bills for licence/insurance/damage/loan. Let that hit in.

BTW how old is your sister. You might want to send her to Richard petty driving school or one of those advanced driving schools that will teach her how to control a car or else frighten her. Ofcourse she could take it all in and say &quot;I'm Invincible&quot;.

 

[Soybomb]

Well most likely she wont until she has to pay or gets hurt/hurts someone else seriously. Immaturity mostly has to just be lived out I think heh. btw whats wrong with second gear in the parking lot? thats only at about 20 in my car unless i've got the engine rev'ed high

 

[The Stigenator]

I can do 50 in second. But there is nothing wrong for second in a parking lot, I do it all the time. I dont do more than 25 though.

 

[DAM]

plain and simple take away her car, the bitch must learn. im sorry but unsafe drivers make me mad, my mom has been in two accidents because of unsafe drivers.







dam()



editam spelling

 

[apoppin]

Until your parents take this seriously, your sister will continue to drive this way. It's their responsibility and their fault.

Until your sister has consequences - paying her own tickets, repairs and insurance - she will likely continue her bad driving habits until she has more severe consequences (accident/injury). If she is lucky it may not take something so severe to make her understand (I really hope so).

I am not sure I understand your parents permissiveness in this regard. Perhaps you can help them understand they are contributing to your sisters bad driving.

 

[Total Refected Power]

When I see little ones hurt in car accidents it makes me livid.

Get her under control!

 

[DaveJ]

A few responses:

First off, my parents are WELL AWARE that she's not a good driver... we've all tried to reason with her, but nothing gets through... she freely admits that she speeds too much, but acts like it's all a game.

xero: I'd like to find something a little less drastic... besides, it would cost me too much to have some, uh, &quot;family men&quot; dispose of her car...

TRP: Exactly my thinking. Her aggressive driving is putting others at risk just as much as herself, but she won't listen.

Soybomb: 20 in a parking lot is one thing, going over speed bumps at 20MPH is something completely different...

For the record, she's 24 (we're twins ) and has been driving for 7 years. As for paying her way, I don't think that's gonna happen any time soon... she makes less than half what I do and barely subsists as it is (but that's a completely different story...)

That police idea sounds interesting... I may have to investigate that some more.

Dave

 

[The Stigenator]

your sis reminds me of &quot;Mad mom's in minivans/suv's&quot;

Talk to teh local police, sure they can help. They are always glad to help keep the road a little above from becoming an absolute mess.

DMV is another way to go, taking away her driving privledges by state law. However harsh that is, it will allow her to cool down.

 

[prodigy]

Huh? What was that you said?

 

[apoppin]

The problem is your parents have tried to &quot;reason&quot; with her.

They need to stop &quot;reasoning with her&quot; and take some actionbefore she gets hurt, killed or injures someone else.

Evidently she is your parent's responsibility. So, they have all the options:

1)take her car away.
2)stop paying her car bills.

Either of these actions can be instituted for a limited time until she shows good judgement and may have the driving privilege returned to her under supervision.

 

[Mill]

I wouldn't involve the police. Maybe a few films of what bad driving can cause. Get your parents and see if they could get her involved in some defensive driving classes. Let her visit the local morgue after a holiday weekend. That would really make a difference. That or just take her car away.

 

[DABANSHEE]

Your sister's 24 &amp; still living at home (I shouldn't talk I'm 35 &amp; moved back home 2 years ago, just for a couple of months &amp; I'm still there now - you should see what Sydney rents &amp; mortgages are like), that's half the problem.

Your parents should kick her out, with the excuse they need here room for a Japanese student who's willing to pay $250 a week board &amp; only expects one 'at home' meal (breakfast) a day (that's what my parents did when I was about 19 years old).

 

[DaveJ]

Dabanshee: Actually, she's NOT living at home, that's part of the problem... no one is really aware of how bad a driver she really is until the repair bills come in.

FWIW, I *do* live at home, but I pay all my own bills plus rent, and I'm moving in three months when I get my student loans paid off...

Dave

 

[Total Refected Power]

DaveJ:

Show her this thread. Probably won't help. Sounds like she is going to have to learn the hard way. I just hope that no one gets hurt.

 

[apoppin]

DaveJ, now that you've explained more, why don't your parents just refuse to pay the repair bills or the insurance for your sister's car?

It seems like the logical - if difficult for them (and your sister) - solution.

Just like with a drug addicted person, your parents are enabling your sister to continue in her anti-social way.


EDIT: I wouldn't show your sister this thread. Possibly to your parents, though.

 

[DaveJ]

Apoppin: Hey, it makes sense to me... I've brought the subject up a few times, but I can't get anywhere... I get the lecture that I'm making twice as much as she is, so she's entitled to some help. FWIW, I have nothing against it, but that may be the only option...

Dave

 

[apoppin]

Just point out to your parents that she needs help - but not what they are giving here. She needs help to learn to be a responsible driver; not someone who has her mess cleaned up for her everytime she screws up.

Eventually - unless she learns for herself - she will be beyond her parent's help.

It sounds like misplaced love to me.