Why should I keep playing?

[Mai72]

Hello all,

I need some help. I've been a PC gamer for the last 10 years. I love video games but I have gotten to the point that I view gaming as a waste of time. Also, I'm very concerned about video game addiction.

I go through cycles:

First, I will start craving a game, like Skyrim.
Next, I will download the game and all it's mods.
Then, I will play the hell of the game. I've played Skyrim for 12 hours straight at a time. But this is the exception and not the rule.
Finally, I get upset with myself and I delete the game and the other games in my Steam account.

Just in the last 2 weeks I've deleted and re-installed a few of my games from Steam at least 5 times. I've also returned 3 game controllers in the last 2 months because I was playing NBA 2K13 too much. I crave a game, install, play, get upset and delete. Then it starts all over again. It's a very bad cycle.

*I keep telling myself to just limit my game play to 1-2 hours per day.
*I've noticed that I will spend more time on Facebook and You Tube if I am not gaming.
*I'm going to be 40 in a few years.
*I don't watch television.

Part of me loves gaming. I get a kick out of playing video games. Also, I've seen videos and I've read articles on the pro's and con's of video games. I've done my research. On the other side of the coin, I feel like I haven't accomplished enough in life, and video games are holding me back.

Finally, I think my mother has something to do with my negative thoughts on video gaming. She didn't understand why I played. She would constantly tell me that I was wasting my time, and that video games are a waste of time. She would say "do you want to be a loser like your uncle?" Also, "what are you doing with yourself? You would rather play video games then become a success!"

Thanks.

 

[Alienwho]

Why should you keep playing?

You shouldn't. You should probably concentrate on moving out of your moms house, losing your virginity and finding a meaning to your life.

Gaming for a 40 year old man is a casual luxury activity, not a lifestyle. You need to make some big changes. There is no research to do on the pro's and cons of video gaming. It's all cons for you bro.

 

[frozentundra123456]

I dont mean to offend you, but I think video games are just a symptom of some basic issues. Seems like you are trying to please other people and live up to their expectations rather than living your own life. I can sympathize because I too tend to try to please other people too much, I think.

As for video games in particular, I see nothing wrong with them at any age, as long as you can play them with reasonable control. It does seem like you are pretty compulsive about them though, and arent able to handle them very well. Do you have any other hobbies that you could focus on instead of games.

 

[frozentundra123456]

Why should you keep playing?

You shouldn't. You should probably concentrate on moving out of your moms house, losing your virginity and finding a meaning to your life.

Gaming for a 40 year old man is a casual luxury activity, not a lifestyle. You need to make some big changes. There is no research to do on the pro's and cons of video gaming. It's all cons for you bro.

Serioulsy? I am well over 40 and play a lot of video games. My wife is retired and plays even more. I would also hazard a guess that there are a number of posters on these forums that are over 40 and still game. As for the "research" you mention, would you care to cite some references? Obviously, anything done obsessively or to excess is not healthy, but that is more related to the way the activity is done than to the activity itself. Give the OP a break.

 

[Mai72]

Serioulsy? I am well over 40 and play a lot of video games. My wife is retired and plays even more. I would also hazard a guess that there are a number of posters on these forums that are over 40 and still game. As for the "research" you mention, would you care to cite some references? Obviously, anything done obsessively or to excess is not healthy, but that is more related to the way the activity is done than to the activity itself. Give the OP a break.

Jane McGonigal is a video game developer and she has a few videos on the pros of video gaming. She also a Ted Talk video on gaming.

http://www.ted.com/talks/jane_mcgonigal_the_game_that_can_give_you_10_extra_years_of_life.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJ7uaDlYVmo

She also has a book titled "Reality is Broken."

She states that 20 hours per week is the max a person should put into their hobby to see full benefits, and anything more is counterproductive. I guess it's like drinking wine. 1-2 glasses per day is good for your body, and anything after that is harmful. Again, moderation is key.

 

[Mai72]

Why should you keep playing?

You shouldn't. You should probably concentrate on moving out of your moms house, losing your virginity and finding a meaning to your life.

Gaming for a 40 year old man is a casual luxury activity, not a lifestyle. You need to make some big changes. There is no research to do on the pro's and cons of video gaming. It's all cons for you bro.

Well my mom died a few years ago. I'm in South Korea working now. Finally, I have a girlfriend and I've been laid enough to know that it's nothing too special.

 

[Soundmanred]

video games are a waste of time

 

[sandorski]

You have lost the will to live.

If you don't wanna game anymore, don't game. It's your choice and it doesn't need to be justified.

 

[ImpulsE69]

Well my mom died a few years ago. I'm in South Korea working now. Finally, I have a girlfriend and I've been laid enough to know that it's nothing too special.

Now I know you're lying. Sex > Games every time.

 

[Fardringle]

Why should I keep playing?

If you have to ask the question, then you shouldn't. Games are supposed to be fun. If you don't find computer games to be fun any more, then don't torture yourself with them. Find other things that you (and your girlfriend) do enjoy and do those things instead.

 

[Vaux]

I kind of feel where the OP is coming from on this. I went through some stretches where I was gaming too much also. But for me it goes away. I really don't have the time to game that much anymore.

I do look back though and think about all the hours and hours I have spent playing video games. And I wonder, what do I have to show for it? Nothing. That sucks. Too bad I didn't take up woodworking or something and I would have something to show for my time and hard work.

Then I justify it by saying... well, it's like reading. A lot of people love to read and spend lots of time doing it. Instead of grabbing a book I grab a game. Games are pretty much just interactive books anyways I guess.

Oh and I am approaching 40 and I still play games. These days it's a little different for people my age to still be playing games - I think you will see it's more common because it's gotten to the point now that all of those kids that grew up playing Nintendo and Sega, ect. (like me) are hitting 40 soon. Hell I wouldn't know what to do with some of my free time if I didn't have video games.

 

[mikeymikec]

The OP hasn't mentioned how much time he actually spends gaming typically.

Everyone needs a hobby to unwind and enjoy themselves with.

My mum always used to go on at me about the amount of time I spent on the computer (mostly gaming when I was a kid, the Internet wasn't mainstream then), saying that I wouldn't ever meet a girl like that. She had to put a lid on it since I met up with the woman who is now my wife over the Internet

Your gaming followed by abstinence and back to gaming cycle is stupid and you should put a lid on it (the cycle that is). It's a pointless waste of time and it is making you unhappy.

It all needs to be put into perspective. How is the rest of your life? What is suffering due to this hobby? What are your (realistic) hopes and dreams for your life? How are you doing in achieving what you really want in life? Are you living up to someone else's expectations or your own?

If you don't have realistic aims for your life, quitting gaming isn't going to help. If a lack of direction is your problem, then perhaps regularly setting aside half an hour or so out of your gaming time to decide what it is you want is a way forward. Once you've got some decent aims figured out, pursue them. Let the gaming find a natural place. If you're still uncomfortable about your gaming after that (I would be really surprised if you were), then re-evaluate your (likely drastically different) circumstances then.

You might be gaming too much, but 'too much' is based on the variables of your life... unless you're sitting in a pile of your own excrement while gaming

@ Fardringle

Not necessarily correct. If someone else is forcing their ideals onto the OP (very much suggested with this self-hate cycle and comments about the OP's mother), it is probably based on their own interests and not necessarily the OP's. I hardly drink at all (the equivalent of probably 4 cans of beer spread throughout the week), yet if I took my mum's advice, I would never drink. What purpose would be served by this, except to deny me a form of unwinding?

 

[Stringjam]

Doing things you enjoy is never "a waste of time."

Believe it or not, you can be successful, middle-aged, and play games.


If you're getting bored with it, as with anything (yes....that even includes sex), then take a break from it.

 

[smakme7757]

Most people are driven by something in life. As kids we want to have fun so gaming, sports, friends take priority. When one leaves school, maybe starts at university or jumps into the work force priorities change. It seems like yours didn't. That doesn't have to be a bad thing. You can still be a 40 year old gamer, but you need some balance. If this isn't a troll post and it's true that you are living at home with your mum at 39 then you really are outside the norm.

The simple answer is that you don't need to game for 12 hours if you don't want too.

 

[Mai72]

Most people are driven by something in life. As kids we want to have fun so gaming, sports, friends take priority. When one leaves school, maybe starts at university or jumps into the work force priorities change. It seems like yours didn't. That doesn't have to be a bad thing. You can still be a 40 year old gamer, but you need some balance. If this isn't a troll post and it's true that you are living at home with your mum at 39 then you really are outside the norm.

The simple answer is that you don't need to game for 12 hours if you don't want too.

I do not live at home with my mother. She passed away 3 years ago. :'(

I have other hobbies. I'm learning Korean and Thai. I like Thai better and in my opinion it's an easier language to learn. Two months ago I became consumed with Skyrim, and I'd spend a lot of hours on the weekend playing it. Never once has it interfered with my work.

I just wanted to get an idea from gamer on what path I should take. I think I'm just going to take a break for a while. My games are still going to be there. I will also stay away from games like Skyrim. They can be huge time sinks.

 

[smakme7757]

I do not live at home with my mother. She passed away 3 years ago. :'(

I have other hobbies. I'm learning Korean and Thai. I like Thai better and in my opinion it's an easier language to learn. Two months ago I became consumed with Skyrim, and I'd spend a lot of hours on the weekend playing it. Never once has it interfered with my work.

I just wanted to get an idea from gamer on what path I should take. I think I'm just going to take a break for a while. My games are still going to be there. I will also stay away from games like Skyrim. They can be huge time sinks.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Like I said, there is nothing wrong with enjoying a computer game. I don't game at all pretty much, but I'll still play some Starcraft 2 ladder when time permits. Everyone has to enjoy something. I guess my wife could argue that my work takes up more time than it should and she would be right, but I'm aware of this and take measures to spend adequate family time with her and our daughter.

You just need to balance it out. Gaming is nothing to be ashamed of, but it shouldn't control you - As with all things: Alcohol, Sports, Computers ect.

 

[Geosurface]

For me, the thing I felt I needed to do was stop playing MMORPGs, particularly WoW. Had a nasty WoW addiction.

The unfortunate thing is, in the absence of an MMO... I end up not gaming *enough*

 

[TheSlamma]

You came to a GAME forum to talk about how to stop playing games?

As for studies that prove video games and wine are good for you.. those are done by gamers and wine drinkers. In my lifetime eggs have gone from bad for you to good for you 3 different times. Look into the sources of funding that goes into a lot of these "studies" too.

You said feel you have not accomplished enough in your life, maybe you should address that on your own first.

 

[Via]

I've read the OP three times and I still don't think I've identified everything that's troubling there. That's a lot of issues to digest at once.

If Freud were alive he might be able to crack this.

 

[Juddog]

For me it's about moderation - I give myself a cutoff time that I have to stop playing, and a startup time that I can start.

That's roughly an hour a night on weekdays so that I can get other things done, and 4 hours each weekend day. I used to be obsessive about playing video games as well, so "been there done that"; for me the only thing that worked is setting limits ahead of time and sticking to those limits.

So far it's been great - I've gotten some studying done, more chores done around my house, etc..

 

[BladeVenom]

*I've noticed that I will spend more time on Facebook and You Tube if I am not gaming.

All the more reason to play games. At least gaming helps keep the mind sharp.

 

[sze5003]

Find other things to do. When I moved out of my parents place I enjoyed video games a lot. I still do but I play only 1 or two hours a week if I have time. By the time I get home from work I'm tired and don't want to spend time on the pc..I write code all day at work so taking a break is nice.

I'm nowhere near 40 but you have to get other hobbies. One day I decided to get my motorcycle license. It was a new challenge, interesting and there are lots of passionate bikers out there too. I met some cool people and it's nice to get out of the house and take rides out to the parks and enjoy nature. And believe it or not my biker friends like video games too.

Get out and go to some state parks, road trips, anything. Doesn't have to be riding a bike or motorcycle. See what other people at work do in their free time and try to join in.

Nothing wrong with playing games. Just moderate it per day. I have not messed with my ps3 in months and I have a ps4 preordered. I'll prolly spend time when gta 5 is out.

Foreign and old school parents don't understand games, think it's a waste of time. I can see how they can be right because my younger brother will always do his homework last and play games or sit on the pc all day. It's all about discipline.

 

[chalmers]

sze you have a 7970 and game 1-2 hours a week? Damn..that's a lot of money spent for little in return.

 

[sze5003]

sze you have a 7970 and game 1-2 hours a week? Damn..that's a lot of money spent for little in return.

When I got it I was playing a lot more every week or weekend. It's good for the long term and I love that I can throw a game on and crank it up without worry. If I get into a good game I'll play until it's done. I've pretty much played every game I have been interested in since I bought this card.

 

[Barfo]

Now I know you're lying. Sex > Games every time.

Something must be wrong with him. I have a gf and get sex regularly and I'll still leave the most intense multiplayer match to get laid.