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Why must an ex girlfriend torture me so?

E

erikiksaz

Diamond Member
She's not exactly torturing me, well not in the physical sense. Actually, she's completely oblivious to all of this. But i'll explain this later on.

Ok, so the relationship lasted about 8 months, with me inducing the breakup. The thing is, is that ~2 months into the relationship, when the base of trust was established, i decided to take the relationship to a higher level, intellectually. During this time, things like the WTC bombings often resided in my mind. Soo, i would ask for her opinion. And whenever i would, i would frikken hear the crickets doing their thing in the background. So i thought, maybe she's just shy....

Another 3 months pass. I think, "ok, if she was shy to begin with, that shyness should have been lifted by now!" So i try to work some of that intellectual convo into our normal conversations....and to no avail. At this point, i ask my sister (i gave her the past history as well), "is something wrong here? or am i asking her for too much?" She replies, "Eric, your partner in life has to also be your intellectual partner." So at that point, i think to myself, "crap."

Here come another three months. I'm still working on it, despite all the problems. And it seems that everytime i try to add some actual thinking to our conversation, things would erupt. "why can't you give me your opinion?" i asked repeatedly. "i don't know," she says. I DON'T KNOW. I LOATHED that answer. It was always I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW THIS. I DON'T KNOW THAT. Grrr....

Soooo....after the breakup, which was long due, i started to think. Did i lower myself to her level? I mean, she's often completely oblivious to things. Or was i, as my coach put it, "following to your d|ck?" It just erks me, that i jumped headfirst into this relationship, without fully evaluating her, and what she's worth.

OMg, i'm stopping here, this is wayy too long.
 


<< i jumped headfirst into this relationship, without fully evaluating her >>

how are you supposed to get an accurate evaluation without taking the time to get to know someone, and therefore being in some sort of relationship with them?
 
Did she have big tits? If she did I think it's safe to say you wern't thinking with your brain. 😉
I've never been pulled into a relationship like that but my friends have. It's really sad to see them dumbing themselves down so they can be with the person they are with at the time.
 
I went out with a girl who wasn't all that bright... She was hot, and we had a really really good time together. She was an amazing poet (I suck at poetry unless it rhymes hehe), and we made the best of it.
 


<< Did she have big tits >>



Ahh yes...for an asian girl, YES.

I s'ppose this might lead back to:

"

<< following to your d|ck >>

"
 
how can you go out with a girl if you can't even hold an intelligent conversation with her? screw that, move on (unless you want to nail her)
 
What attracted me to her in the first place was that she was so lively, and that she was a very fun person to hang out with.
 
I don't know just how Asian this girl was, but a lot of times they aren't exactly raised to be opinionated. And you sound like a woman bitching about her husband always replying 'I don't know' to assinine questions like 'what are you thinking about' and 'how do these shoes look with this dress.'
 
god i hate it when girl says "what are you thinking" and you're not really thinking about anything so you have to make something up.
 


<< "why can't you give me your opinion?" i asked repeatedly. "i don't know," she says. I DON'T KNOW. I LOATHED that answer. It was always I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW THIS. I DON'T KNOW THAT. Grrr.... >>



The questions you were asking..were they by chance "What's the meaning of life?" "can we ever prove the existance of God?" or "what came first, the chicken or the egg?"


Maybe the things you were trying to talk about weren't the things she was interested in.




<< your partner in life has to also be your intellectual partner >>



that's BS.
 


<< It just erks me, that i jumped headfirst into this relationship, without fully evaluating her, and what she's worth. >>



I think most of all relationships start like that. You only start evaluating the person once you get to know them a little better. When you first start going out it's more physical than personal.
 


<< What attracted me to her in the first place was that she was so lively, and that she was a very fun person to hang out with. >>



There is much to be said for a person who is consistantly pleasant,fun and even in their moods.Not everyone can be an Einstein, not constantly debating everything doesn't mean that a woman doesn't have opinions,nor does it mean she's stupid.
 


<< The questions you were asking..were they by chance "What's the meaning of life?" "can we ever prove the existance of God?" or "what came first, the chicken or the egg?" >>



Haha, of course not. I think i would have overloaded her brain 😛 But why do you think the "intellectual partner" thing is BS?
 


<< dunno..an asian girl with big tits and no apparent opinion? she sounds like a keeper to me! >>



aaaaaaaaaahahahahahhahahahha rofl 😀😀😀
 
anyone who thinks that the idea of your life partner being your intellectual parter is bs obviously thinks women's role in society is that of mother and cook. one thing I'd have to consider though, how old is this girl, if she's under 18 I can give you an answer to how this girl thinks. I've noticed through much observation that most high school aged girls have only two things in their life that's important.

1. Clothes and shopping.
2. Boys

It happens most offen that high school girls who don't hold these as very important aren't at all attractive. If you're able to find one that hold's her intelligence as a high standard and is attractive, keep her. And if she also likes anime, send her this way instead.
 
She sounds like a dumbass. How can you be with her like that? You did well. Move on now and forget her. Don't let her "torture you". Have some more self-respect than that!
 
Dood, those are the chics that you have on the side when your real (somewhat smart) girlfriend isn't cutting it......Come on now........ 🙂
 
if she's under 18 I can give you an answer to how this girl thinks. I've noticed through much observation that most high school aged girls have only two things in their life that's important.

1. Clothes and shopping.
2. Boys

It happens most offen that high school girls who don't hold these as very important aren't at all attractive. If you're able to find one that hold's her intelligence as a high standard and is attractive, keep her. And if she also likes anime, send her this way instead.

Hmm... The people you consider to have few interests outside of clothes/shopping and boys are people with real opinions and real feelings. They differ from your intellectual brainiancs who think society and its norms are too puerile but that does not decrease the quality of interaction or sharing that can be had. Try to make friends and understand what people like the ones you've described live like and are. I think your generalization will fall to pieces. If you focus on things like that, you're bound to miss the point because everyone else is probably doing the same thing and thinking you're some category or other. Be human, that's what you are.

Cheers ! 🙂
 


<< if she's under 18 I can give you an answer to how this girl thinks. I've noticed through much observation that most high school aged girls have only two things in their life that's important.

1. Clothes and shopping.
2. Boys

It happens most offen that high school girls who don't hold these as very important aren't at all attractive. If you're able to find one that hold's her intelligence as a high standard and is attractive, keep her. And if she also likes anime, send her this way instead.

Hmm... The people you consider to have few interests outside of clothes/shopping and boys are people with real opinions and real feelings. They differ from your intellectual brainiancs who think society and its norms are too puerile but that does not decrease the quality of interaction or sharing that can be had. Try to make friends and understand what people like the ones you've described live like and are. I think your generalization will fall to pieces. If you focus on things like that, you're bound to miss the point because everyone else is probably doing the same thing and thinking you're some category or other. Be human, that's what you are.

Cheers ! 🙂 >>




Good points !!!


You know, looking over the list of folks I consider friends both online and in real time, there are quite a few really smart folks, some really impressive thinkers who love nothing better than to air their opinions and hold forth in verbal jousting sessions. Each and every one of them says they like me because I'm fun,laugh a lot and just am me. I'm not just like them and I don't have to be in order to bring something of great value to a my relationships with others🙂


So don't discount the easy going ones, we do have real opinions and real feelings too,just be glad that we often prefer to stand back and let the rest of you take that center stage you so crave 🙂
 
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