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Why is this so difficult...

Deeko

Deeko

Lifer
I've been going out with my girlfriend for a little less than 4 months. Could someone please tell me why its so hard for me to tell her I love her? Granted I've never told that to anyone before, as she is my first girlfriend, but I do, so why can't I tell her? I've been trying since like before Valentine's Day, I just can't...I finally resolved to do it tonight, and I got so scared that I couldn't do it. My hand was shaking when i turned off my car to drop her off lol...I have a high pulse normally(about 100-110), I swear as I walked her to her door it tripled I thought I was gonna throw up lol...what makes this so difficult for me I was so pissed when i got back in my car without doing it lol I tore my keychain in half(which isn't an easy task) I am such a freakin wuss lol
 
A lot of the nervousness comes from two things.

1) Even if you don't realize it, you probably have some doubts as to the truth of your loving her. Seeing as how this is your first gf, this is probably very strong. It's not a bad thing, mind you, but you might conciously feel you love her, and an inkling makes you think you don't.

2) You really aren;t sure how she will react. This is normal as well, and trust me it'll probably get you more rownie points then anything you'll ever do the rest of your life😉

Good luck man!
 
You can't do it cause society makes this huge big thing out of it. It's only a big deal if you make it a big deal. Anyway, if you expect her to say it back, go right ahead, no one's gonig to get hurt by it.
 
well, if you really do love her then say it. Chances are she will say it back, plus women love it if you are honest, so if that is how you honestly feel then tell her. Just make sure she knows you are serious
 


<< Maybe you are worried that she won't say it back.

It's similar to the fear of rejection. >>


I'm 100% confident in the return. There is no doubt in my mind. That's why I don't understand why I get so scared.



<< You need to see a doctor about that first... Seriously. >>


haha its always been that way....I've been told its attributed to a genetically small heart. Oh well...hasn't caused any problems, I'm in very good shape which helps keep it strong which is important cuz it has to do so much work lol
 
If you're sure that you love her and the she loves you in return then you should tell her.

Have you thought about saying it in a letter?
 


<< 1) Even if you don't realize it, you probably have some doubts as to the truth of your loving her. Seeing as how this is your first gf, this is probably very strong. It's not a bad thing, mind you, but you might conciously feel you love her, and an inkling makes you think you don't.
 >>


There is no conscious doubt. While this is my first girlfriend, I was totally infatuated with this one girl for a good 5 years of my life (anyone remember my song "The Girl I Could Never Have"?), and I feel 1000x stronger for my gf than I ever did for her. If there is doubt it is total subconscious and I don't know its there.



<< well, if you really do love her then say it. >>


I know...its that simple. I just have to say it and it will be over. I am normally a very confident person. I get confused when people get afraid to talk to girls and that sort of thing, and tell them how easy it is, but here I am suffering from the same problem...
 
Man, be careful who you say "I love you" to. Not to be taken lightly.

And, some people confuse the feelings caused by hormones with love--NOT the same thing!
 


<< Have you thought about saying it in a letter? >>


I totally refuse to do that lol...it doesn't have the same like flare as actually saying it.



<< trust me, you'll be better off in the long run if you don't tell her. >>


Right........😕
 
Maybe because you are a guy and guys are just that way. I know it sounds liek a cliche, but men in our society aren't conditioned to be open about feelings.
 
Stop thinking about it! Seriously, you are going to get yourself even more worked up! 🙂

Relax. Let it come out in a funny/natural situation like perhaps while watching a movie, just tell her! You can do it. I have faith! 🙂
 


<< And, some people confuse the feelings caused by hormones with love--NOT the same thing! >>


Its not hormonal. The biggest things she has done to affirm in my mind my feelings: 1) back in early feb, I was sick. Really sick. Like fever of 104 for a good week or so sick. She came over to my house to keep me company even when I told her not to cuz I didn't want her to get sick. 2) One day, just out of the blue, she spent an entire day making this shoebox covered in cut & paste phrases relating to our relationship, and filled it with like pictures of us and stuff. 3) She refuses to try to sway me to go to Drexel instead of Pitt(my big debate right now, I still have no clue which to go to), even though if I go to Drexel I will be 4 hours closer to her.....this is just a small sampling, but none of these are hormone related.
 
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